Rejection hurts

[memoriesbymichelle]

No matter who it's from, rejection hurts.

There are different forms of rejection, like getting rejected from a mate or potential mate, or getting rejected for a job, or rejected from your kids or friends.

But they all hurt, right? Even if you know there is NO good reason for the rejection that happened to you, it still hurts and it still is very hard to "get passed" IMO. It's kind of like being depressed. Someone can tell you all the great reasons you have to not be depressed, but it's not like you can say to yourself, or have someone say to you, "snap out of it!" (and I hate it when people think they can)

Sometimes even reasoning with ourselves doesn't work. Even if we can honestly say it's them, it's not me, it still hurts.

I don't know that there is anything that can help with this. I know Jesus loves us just the way we are and accepts us just the way we are but when humans reject me.....it's different and hard to accept and move on.
Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you deal with it?

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Michelle,
It takes a lot for me to move my emotions to to be very negative. But then I don't have a bubbly joy either. Yet I do think my emotions are tilled toward the good feelings.

I think sometimes I'm just not tuned into the negative implications of what others are doing/saying. I just figure that other things have come up in their life and they have to do those things and so don't have time for me. Those are choices I make as well, I don't mean them to be a slight against anyone else. So I guess I don't see them as giving me any reason to insult me.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Sometimes I wish I could separate myself from my emotions. I get tired of the roller coaster rides they give me and frankly sometimes they are just over rated.

 

[blackribbon]

Simply...I'm a lot like you in this regard, Michelle.

 

[Life2Christ]

Rejection is God's Protection.

 

[Living in the Light]

Rejection certainly gives one a reality check. When I first started feeling it was when I was in my early 60's. You know, older people are not taken seriously by many who are younger. However, I think I'm starting to get over it because of my spiritual path and my positive outlook. I'm finding by reaching out a little more while I'm out and about really helps. Most people will say hello or acknowledge you if you do the reaching out first. I simply refuse to be unfriendly and treat others as non-persons. We all count.

 

[blackribbon]

Rejection is God's Protection.

From what? ... rejection encompasses more than a bad date ... mine started with my daddy ...

 

[Life2Christ]

From what? ... rejection encompasses more than a bad date ... mine started with my daddy ...

My daddy rejected me too and still does to this day. But he is a godless person and hates God. He has many "issues" from his bad childhood. I don't need that mess. I just pray for him. I'm so happy living in Jesus' light that I can't afford sit in the rejection. It hurts (don't get me wrong) but God's love is enough.

 

[AvilaSurfer]

Somewhere in high school I developed the attitude that rejection meant a good thing. It was like being protected from a bad decision. A couple of girls blew me off and I just figured that was the right thing. Kind of a "your loss" attitude. That wasn't the perfect solution. It did cause me to be more cautious in the future, and I'm sure I missed out on some things/people because of that caution. But I tried to not let it hurt. I moved on. I still do. I figure if you don't like me for whatever reason, fine, your loss. There are lots of other people out there. My .02.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Rejection is God's Protection.

Not fully on board with this statement. In my current rejection situation with my step daughter, it could be reasoned that I might be protected against further hurt or disappointment, but in a mother/child relationship this is already a given so.....

 

[blackribbon]

I sometimes think that understanding rejection allows me to be more empathetic to others who feel rejected. I seem to see it places that no one else does. In this way it can be a gift...even if it is a heavy one. It allows me to reach out to more people...

 

[Life2Christ]

I sometimes think that understanding rejection allows me to be more empathetic to others who feel rejected. I seem to see it places that no one else does. In this way it can be a gift...even if it is a heavy one. It allows me to reach out to more people...

Amen to that! Rejection is the fire the sharpens us.

 

[blackribbon]

Amen to that! Rejection is the fire the sharpens us.

To be honest, I think it softens and humbles... I don't feel sharper in any way, shape, or form. Just small, unimportant, and weak.

 

[Life2Christ]

To be honest, I think it softens and humbles... I don't feel sharper in any way, shape, or form. Just small, unimportant, and weak.

Ok I get that. For me I feel like it sharpens my senses. I can tell when someone is hurting and then I try to go to them. If I wasn't rejected so much I wouldn't pick up on it.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

So you're both right.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Sometimes I wish I could separate myself from my emotions. I get tired of the roller coaster rides they give me and frankly sometimes they are just over rated.

I hear you. One of the things that helps me with the roller coaster is to know I could not be grateful for the view from the Mountain Top had I not had to come through the Valley.

Sometimes even we reject the gifts we get from God simply because we do not KNOW HOW to receive..so it is with some people. They reject the gifts we offer, simply because they never have learned to receive.

Other times-we are not meant to camp in one spot to long...because there is somewhere else we are supposed to be. We may think we belong in this job or with this person, but that is NOT God's plan for our life. Therefore the "rejection" (along the beauty for ashes line) must take place to help move us along. Otherwise we would not be in the spot we are supposed to be when we need to be.

These thoughts may not comfort one during the trial, but the older I get.. the more I'm coming to understand "There are precious few coincidences, if any"

 

[blackribbon]

I don't know if I think that most rejection is "God's plan" so much as it falls within God's plan. We are creatures of free choice...and that means even if we make good choices, other people are free to make bad choices (and the other way around)...and we can be affected as collateral damage of sorts. However, God is still in control and His Will will be done...

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yes it is hard to see the mountain top when you are IN the valley. And sometimes the valley seems SO long and never ending. It never shakes my faith to the point that I would give up on God or believing in God, and for the most part, in my valley, it was the things that I did that made me take this route and I know this, I just don't know when and if I can climb that mountain again, and when I will get some rest from the journey. However, having said that, I also know that when I DO get rest, I tend to also rest from God even though that is not my intention so.....onward christian soldiers....

 

[iambren]

Yes, Michelle, it is one of my most tender feelings too. And I've often wished I could turn off my emotions. I've envied people who can do that. It may be that God made us more sensitive and are uniquely used in His kingdom that way.

Your post is timely for me. This week to corporate people came to my office. They said they are not renewing my lease that's up Feb 15th. I asked why but they said it was just a "Sears corporate decision". Today the whole store manager said she had not heard and would give me a recommendation if I'd like. So, I'm going through my mind--"What did I miss? Who did I offend? What's wrong with me?".

I do have a knot in my stomach (bills, $) but I believe my God has a bigger plan. Our Father is ultimately in control and He was rejected far more. I hope in time for things to change that will erase the feelings of rejection I have.

 

[exitstageright]

No matter who it's from, rejection hurts.

There are different forms of rejection, like getting rejected from a mate or potential mate, or getting rejected for a job, or rejected from your kids or friends.

But they all hurt, right? Even if you know there is NO good reason for the rejection that happened to you, it still hurts and it still is very hard to "get passed" IMO. It's kind of like being depressed. Someone can tell you all the great reasons you have to not be depressed, but it's not like you can say to yourself, or have someone say to you, "snap out of it!" (and I hate it when people think they can)

Sometimes even reasoning with ourselves doesn't work. Even if we can honestly say it's them, it's not me, it still hurts.

I don't know that there is anything that can help with this. I know Jesus loves us just the way we are and accepts us just the way we are but when humans reject me.....it's different and hard to accept and move on.
Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you deal with it?

Being in show business,I have to deal with rejection all of the time. For me,there are two ways to deal with rejection. One,I do not take the rejection personally. Two,I treat rejection as a prize fighter or a boxer takes a knock down. I just quickly get back up. I once told my brother,who is against interracial relationships,"If I cannot find fruit on one branch,I will just go and pick fruit off of another branch.After all,they(the branches) all belong to the same tree,which is the human species....Homo sapiens.