Rejection hurts

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yes, Michelle, it is one of my most tender feelings too. And I've often wished I could turn off my emotions. I've envied people who can do that. It may be that God made us more sensitive and are uniquely used in His kingdom that way.

Your post is timely for me. This week to corporate people came to my office. They said they are not renewing my lease that's up Feb 15th. I asked why but they said it was just a "Sears corporate decision". Today the whole store manager said she had not heard and would give me a recommendation if I'd like. So, I'm going through my mind--"What did I miss? Who did I offend? What's wrong with me?".

I do have a knot in my stomach (bills, $) but I believe my God has a bigger plan. Our Father is ultimately in control and He was rejected far more. I hope in time for things to change that will erase the feelings of rejection I have.

I'm kind of in a similar situation at my job (maybe that means that Jesus IS coming sooner than we think ). My boss is not pursuing other work for our company and I think he has just been "hoping" it will get better. A couple of weeks ago he took 8G out of our business account without telling me (I pay the payroll and bills so I would need to know this) and yesterday I had to tell him we have no money to pay any bills that are currently due let alone payroll for the week after Christmas. So he finally tells me that he is going to talk to his wife about finances (not sure why her) and he also tells me that he is not going to contribute to our IRA's anymore. Really? Right now he owes us the money we've taken out this month which is 600 bucks. His contribution is half. So his way of cutting expenses is to take away 300 bucks that is actually a tax write off for the company? Today he comes in and says he needs a deposit slip and a blank check from the company. Doesn't he know that I will need to know the amount of each? Makes me wonder if I need to look for another job, and at the same time, I don't have a clue where to look for another job. I am trusting in God and for now am waiting and praying. And meanwhile after he asked me for the deposit slip and check he is at his computer working on his kids' baseball stats! I just don't get it.

 

[blackribbon]

Praying for both of you. Yes, Michelle, you need to start looking and praying for another job. This sounds like a man who is giving up and not facing reality. Even if he finds an infusion of money from some place, I think he is mentally not there to continue successful. I'm sorry for everyone involved.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Michelle - Yes you should look for another job. It sounds like things are going downhill and your boss does not have a plan and they are cutting your benefits. Why stay there as things hit bottom? I would think there should be opportunities in the HR/finance/payroll field. I would encourage you to treat it as yet another part-time job to find a new job, IMO. I know there are only 24 hours in a day. I think it is riskier to stay and hope things work out than to jump ship. I was in a situation like that some years ago. I accepted the writing on the wall. I found another job at a little lower level than what I was doing and the pay was a bit less but I did not have to worry about paychecks bouncing or worse. I made the move because the place where I had been working was just too financially unstable. Before too long I was promoted in the new job and was making more than before while the place where I had been working went out of business. So think about it.

 

[blackribbon]

I don't even think "jump ship" yet...but be starting to check out your options and start to look for something better...equal...or even just potentially equal. A place to start would be a "temp agency" and ask if they have any potentially permanent positions. I know several people that got full-time jobs that way.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I don't even think "jump ship" yet...but be starting to check out your options and start to look for something better...equal...or even just potentially equal. A place to start would be a "temp agency" and ask if they have any potentially permanent positions. I know several people that got full-time jobs that way.

I've gotten some really great jobs at temp agencies in the past. The last time it didn't work out for me because even though I was a manager of a Photography studio, and I had 10 years banking experience, and 10 years as an office manager, my RECENT experience wasn't in office management. But since I am currently in that field that is a good option. So thanks for that.

So update is that he brought in enough money to pay our bills.... barely. We have several jobs that we are waiting to invoice as soon as we get the PO's. He left for the week and said Merry Christmas and asked me some questions about maybe coming in to do some invoicing and so.... ATM he is not planning on closing up shop. So I'm sticking it out until he tells me he has to let me go, or he's closing up shop. I am considering maybe getting another part time job just in case he wants me to work part time. I really wish I could find something I could do online from home (or the office) but I haven't ever been successful in finding steady real work that way. I trust that God CAN intervene, and I struggle with if He WILL or not.

 

[dayhiker]

I think I've commented on this before. I don't think I separate myself from my emotions. I see emotions as telling us and others how we judged what has been said or what happened wither we did it or an other person did it. So the key to healthy emotional expression is realize this emotion is here because I've judged the situation so. Now as long as we want that emotion we have the same judgement about it. But when we want to change the emotion we have to change our judgement about it.
So someone insults us. We judge them as making an untrue statement about us. So we feel that insult and express it thru our emotions so all can see how we evaluated the statement. Over time we want to to forget about it and so we change the judgement ya it was a bad insult, but its not true and in the big scheme of things its not important so then when ever we remember that insult it has less emotion cause we have downgraded our judgement of how bad it was.
I make that change in judgement often in a second or less. So the emotions just starts to get expressed when I change the judgement and the emotion drains away.

Sometimes I wish I could separate myself from my emotions. I get tired of the roller coaster rides they give me and frankly sometimes they are just over rated.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Michelle, is there photography-related work you could do? Is there some opportunity for nature photography or tourism-related photography (you are in Arizona, after all). Is there some niche or specialty that not everyone is doing? Do you have modern digital cameras that have good resolution? Have you worked with programs like PhotoShop? Maybe you could create your own part-time job. Of course I say that as someone who worked on my own and fell flat on my face so what do I know? LOL.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle, is there photography-related work you could do? Is there some opportunity for nature photography or tourism-related photography (you are in Arizona, after all). Is there some niche or specialty that not everyone is doing? Do you have modern digital cameras that have good resolution? Have you worked with programs like PhotoShop? Maybe you could create your own part-time job. Of course I say that as someone who worked on my own and fell flat on my face so what do I know? LOL.

None that I know of and no I currently only own a point and shoot digital. Haven't done much with PhotoShop. I used to want to be a kiddie photographer. I have done weddings in the past, but I worked with another photographer (thankfully) as you can't NOT get the shot or re-do a wedding shot most of the time, so I find that kind of stressful. And working at a studio, where it was kind of a herd 'em in herd 'em out mentality kind of made me lose my interest all together. Come to think of it I think I've lost alot of my desires, and I'm just now realizing that.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I think I've commented on this before. I don't think I separate myself from my emotions. I see emotions as telling us and others how we judged what has been said or what happened wither we did it or an other person did it. So the key to healthy emotional expression is realize this emotion is here because I've judged the situation so. Now as long as we want that emotion we have the same judgement about it. But when we want to change the emotion we have to change our judgement about it.
So someone insults us. We judge them as making an untrue statement about us. So we feel that insult and express it thru our emotions so all can see how we evaluated the statement. Over time we want to to forget about it and so we change the judgement ya it was a bad insult, but its not true and in the big scheme of things its not important so then when ever we remember that insult it has less emotion cause we have downgraded our judgement of how bad it was.
I make that change in judgement often in a second or less. So the emotions just starts to get expressed when I change the judgement and the emotion drains away.

OK well if we are dealing with an emotion that is due to an incident that happened I see how your idea is plausible. But in my case, it's not only due to incidents, but random thoughts that I just can't see coming and can't control. So one day, I am "happy" because of how things are going that day, and the next day I can't hardly hold back the tears for really no good reason at all. Now I know that of course there is a reason, and maybe it's stuff I haven't dealt well with that is coming up from the past, like maybe my husband's death or ??? but it's not like I am purposely thinking about those incidents. Maybe it's a girl thing IDK

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Michelle, I didn't mean my post to sound like an interrogation. Sometimes I brainstorm by making a list of questions.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Yes, Michelle, it is one of my most tender feelings too. And I've often wished I could turn off my emotions. I've envied people who can do that. It may be that God made us more sensitive and are uniquely used in His kingdom that way.

Your post is timely for me. This week to corporate people came to my office. They said they are not renewing my lease that's up Feb 15th. I asked why but they said it was just a "Sears corporate decision". Today the whole store manager said she had not heard and would give me a recommendation if I'd like. So, I'm going through my mind--"What did I miss? Who did I offend? What's wrong with me?".

I do have a knot in my stomach (bills, $) but I believe my God has a bigger plan. Our Father is ultimately in control and He was rejected far more. I hope in time for things to change that will erase the feelings of rejection I have.

Iambren. Sorry about that situation. Is this related to the financial problems Sears is having? Could they be closing or downsizing more of their stores and the situation they handed you is part of that? I hope something works out.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle, I didn't mean my post to sound like an interrogation. Sometimes I brainstorm by making a list of questions.

no worries, it did not sound like and interrogation. Good ideas actually, and it used to be a dream of mine, but like I said, I've kind of lost some of my dreams. It's all good though. Thanks for caring enough to even suggest something.

 

[iambren]

I asked repeatedly WHY? WHY? And all they would say was that it's a "Sears Corporate decision". I have no idea how Sears is doing; enlighten me?

It did feel like rejection nonetheless. Scary too to have to beat the bushes for a new job.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I asked repeatedly WHY? WHY? And all they would say was that it's a "Sears Corporate decision". I have no idea how Sears is doing; enlighten me?

It did feel like rejection nonetheless. Scary too to have to beat the bushes for a new job.

I feel for you. No time is a good time to HAVE to look for a new job. Sears has been in trouble for a number of years. Here is an article from earlier this year. I don't know the latest info as I have not closely followed what is happening with Sears. But when I read financial news and I see a mention of Sears, the news is not optimistic.

Rolling the dice on the future of Sears - The Term Sheet: Fortune's deals blog Term Sheet

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

having to look for a job ANY time sucks! But it especially sucks around the Holidays.

 

[dayhiker]

I pray the right opportunity opens up for you iambren.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I remember when Home Base went out of business. Well first they changed their name to House to Home and we all had to re-apply for our jobs if we wanted to stay on. I had been with the company for 10 years at this point and was one of the best office managers in the company. But my location was closing and not re-opening as House to Home so I had to apply at a different location. I did NOT get the job. That's when I decided to try my passion which was photography, because I said if I didn't how would I ever know. But the moral to this story is that it was really GOOD that I didn't get re-hired because shortly after re-opening the company still went under and everyone lost their jobs. So even though it hurt at the time, God protected me. Same with when I left the photography industry to this job. My husband had passed away in January and it was November. I wanted a job that had better hours than retail because of my kids. A guy from my church, who is a chiropractor, had my boss as a patient. He asked the chiro if he knew anyone that was looking for a job because his office gal was quitting. He told me about the job and the rest is history. I had applied at a few places with other peoples referrals and they did not even call me for an interview. So God has my back whether I think He does or not and for that I am thankful. Thank you for helping me to remember this now too.