Reflection on love

[Fervent]

Tonight when I was journaling I was struck by a thought about my current ability to love others. It seems to me in many ways I love God and others as an extension of myself, rather than fully recognizing them as individuals in their own right. So often the relationship becomes the focus and my efforts to serve are based on my affections toward them. I don't know if I would call this a selfish love, per se, as there is a genuine desire for their good above my own when our interests clash and yet there is that degree of self. Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a way of loving that is not centered in self in some manner? By what means can we establish that sort of love and grow in it?

 

[Michie]

I struggle with the same. I have to remind myself no matter how despicable that God loves them and to remind myself to break out of my own shell. This does not mean I open myself to abuse but simply doing the best I can in any given situation.

 

[Fervent]

I struggle with the same. I have to remind myself no matter how despicable that God loves them and to remind myself to break out of my own shell. This does not mean I open myself to abuse but simply doing the best I can in any given situation.

It's always especially difficult to serve people who we find despicable in some way, though I'm even speaking of people who I am close with. I love my friends and family, but in that love there is that extension of self in that I love them because they are my friends and family. I love people I meet day-to-day, but I love them in a way that brings them into my being and is less than I love my friends and family. Their relationship with me determines my love for them and I'm not sure if this is avoidable or even necessary to avoid since there is no love outside of relationships or if there is such a thing as an affectionless love. In many ways the people I find despicable I find despicable because I love them, as if I did not care I would simply avoid them.

 

[Michie]

It's always especially difficult to serve people who we find despicable in some way, though I'm even speaking of people who I am close with. I love my friends and family, but in that love there is that extension of self in that I love them because they are my friends and family. I love people I meet day-to-day, but I love them in a way that brings them into my being and is less than I love my friends and family. Their relationship with me determines my love for them and I'm not sure if this is avoidable or even necessary to avoid since there is no love outside of relationships or if there is such a thing as an affectionless love. In many ways the people I find despicable I find despicable because I love them, as if I did not care I would simply avoid them.

I think you have perfectly expressed how I feel at times with a lot of my family. I love them but I find them difficult in the extreme. At times so much where I find it difficult to look them in the eye. Long story but I get what you are saying. My family is dysfunctional but I love them. But would it be so if we did not have those familial ties?

 

[Llewelyn Stevenson]

Love is something that is not perfectly understood and, sometimes, the things he hear and say can cast shadows of doubt. Is love acceptance? Would any of us accuse Jesus of being unloving, and would it be sustained?

Consider what John says of Jesus here:

Joh 2:23 Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did.
Joh 2:24 But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men,
Joh 2:25 And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

Was it unloving of Jesus to withhold himself from those who John says believed in him? Rather than embrace them into his inner circle of fellowship he appears to have maintained some distance in that relationship, why? What did he know?

I love the people of Christ and accept the word of anyone who says they believe in Christ but I do not walk with all of them for we disagree on many things. My love, as far as I know, is impartial. I hurt with those who hurt and I rejoice with those who have received blessings. I give freely of those things Jesus has given me in abundance and often even from my lack. I receive without partiality and am thankful to all.

I love the world, in fact, I think people are great; yet I do not partake in their orgies nor encourage them in their sins. I hurt, the same as all others and can be bitter, the same as all others. Yet in all things I seek the good of those around me.

Yet I will tell you that my love for God is paramount. The Scripture tells me nothing can separate me from his love and I am determined that nothing will stop me from loving him.

They tell me the town in which I live has 8000 people and I know so few of them. Many of those I do know we are merely acquainted or have had an acquaintance, yet I came to this town to tell all I could of faith in Jesus. I came with nothing. I gave up family, friends, and home to come. Why? Because I love them and wanted the best for them.

Have they heard me? Only a few. The rest did not want to hear. Has it cost me? Yes, but God is no man's debtor and I am owed nothing but rather find myself further in his debt.

I still love them all but I cannot condone things God does not. I still want them to have what I have, which is eternal life through Jesus Christ. In all things I try to be friendly and not to portray anyone as my enemy. I don't hate. I forgive, even as God forgives: forgetting those things behind and pressing on.

Is my love selfish? Some would say so for I want them all to be as I am; but the reason for that is because I want them to have every benefit I have received from God the Father and from his son Jesus Christ.

Think about the love you have for a moment, and the driving force behind it, is it really selfish?

Jesus opened himself up to all but they did not receive him, nor he them for it was they who rejected him and not the other way around. If you read the gospels Jesus may often have appeared to sound very unloving but he spoke harshly to warn them not to pursue their rejection of him for he knew the consequence. He gave freely of everything he had and especially his spiritual power and authority.

 

[Fervent]

Love is something that is not perfectly understood and, sometimes, the things he hear and say can cast shadows of doubt. Is love acceptance? Would any of us accuse Jesus of being unloving, and would it be sustained?

Consider what John says of Jesus here:

Joh 2:23 Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did.
Joh 2:24 But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men,
Joh 2:25 And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

Was it unloving of Jesus to withhold himself from those who John says believed in him? Rather than embrace them into his inner circle of fellowship he appears to have maintained some distance in that relationship, why? What did he know?

I love the people of Christ and accept the word of anyone who says they believe in Christ but I do not walk with all of them for we disagree on many things. My love, as far as I know, is impartial. I hurt with those who hurt and I rejoice with those who have received blessings. I give freely of those things Jesus has given me in abundance and often even from my lack. I receive without partiality and am thankful to all.

I love the world, in fact, I think people are great; yet I do not partake in their orgies nor encourage them in their sins. I hurt, the same as all others and can be bitter, the same as all others. Yet in all things I seek the good of those around me.

Yet I will tell you that my love for God is paramount. The Scripture tells me nothing can separate me from his love and I am determined that nothing will stop me from loving him.

They tell me the town in which I live has 8000 people and I know so few of them. Many of those I do know we are merely acquainted or have had an acquaintance, yet I came to this town to tell all I could of faith in Jesus. I came with nothing. I gave up family, friends, and home to come. Why? Because I love them and wanted the best for them.

Have they heard me? Only a few. The rest did not want to hear. Has it cost me? Yes, but God is no man's debtor and I am owed nothing but rather find myself further in his debt.

I still love them all but I cannot condone things God does not. I still want them to have what I have, which is eternal life through Jesus Christ. In all things I try to be friendly and not to portray anyone as my enemy. I don't hate. I forgive, even as God forgives: forgetting those things behind and pressing on.

Is my love selfish? Some would say so for I want them all to be as I am; but the reason for that is because I want them to have every benefit I have received from God the Father and from his son Jesus Christ.

Think about the love you have for a moment, and the driving force behind it, is it really selfish?

Jesus opened himself up to all but they did not receive him, nor he them for it was they who rejected him and not the other way around. If you read the gospels Jesus may often have appeared to sound very unloving but he spoke harshly to warn them not to pursue their rejection of him for he knew the consequence. He gave freely of everything he had and especially his spiritual power and authority.

This thread has taken a different course than I expected, but I am very glad for it. Thank you for this great encouragement and glory to God.

I was actually thinking more of those I hold positively, those that my affections and dispositions are great towards. I wonder if I love them as they are, or because they are mine. When I reflect on it I must admit I do not know my true motivations and can only pray that where they are selfish Christ will discipline me that they be removed. I do not know if I have truly circumcized my heart.

 

[Sunshinee777]

Tonight when I was journaling I was struck by a thought about my current ability to love others. It seems to me in many ways I love God and others as an extension of myself, rather than fully recognizing them as individuals in their own right. So often the relationship becomes the focus and my efforts to serve are based on my affections toward them. I don't know if I would call this a selfish love, per se, as there is a genuine desire for their good above my own when our interests clash and yet there is that degree of self. Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a way of loving that is not centered in self in some manner? By what means can we establish that sort of love and grow in it?

Yes I believe it's completely true that you can love others selflessly. This love comes from God, not from us. If you know what I mean this kind of change is truly a sign you are mature in Christ. Or so I see it.