I LOVE redneck jokes! I can't seen to hear enough of them! I was wondering if any of you know some...if you do, could you post them for me? I think a thread for them would be perfect! 
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Redneck Jokes...know any?
- Thread starter Infernal Freak
- Start date
All4THALORD
Well-Known Member
You might be a redneck:
1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
2. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
3. If your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
4. If you thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
5. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart
7.You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
8.Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache
1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
2. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
3. If your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
4. If you thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
5. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart
7.You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
8.Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache
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chosen_boss
God - My Ultimate!
You know you're a redneck if you've crashed a riding lawn mower!
You know you're a redneck if you work with your shirt off and your husband does too!
You know you're a redneck if you work with your shirt off and your husband does too!
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Woman of Faith
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In honor of the original Star Wars trilogy coming out on DVD please enjoy the following.
You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."
Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Dr. Pepper.
At least one of your X-wings is primer colored.
You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is those dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another Dr. Pepper so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with hunting, fishing, bowling, etc.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electric shock thingy to light the Bar-B-Q grill.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land speeder.
You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like a sissy in that vest.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut so you have to climb in through the window.
You have a cousin who bears a striking resemblence to Chewie.
You suggested they outfit the Millenium Falcon with a redwood deck.
In your opinion, that Darth Vader fella "just ain't right."
--Author Unknown
You might be a Redneck Jedi if...
You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."
Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Dr. Pepper.
At least one of your X-wings is primer colored.
You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is those dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another Dr. Pepper so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with hunting, fishing, bowling, etc.
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electric shock thingy to light the Bar-B-Q grill.
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land speeder.
You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like a sissy in that vest.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut so you have to climb in through the window.
You have a cousin who bears a striking resemblence to Chewie.
You suggested they outfit the Millenium Falcon with a redwood deck.
In your opinion, that Darth Vader fella "just ain't right."
--Author Unknown
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bubblegirl23
Resident bubble chick
I got the full version...
Jedi Rednecks
Rednecks are not limited to Earth. They exist all across the galaxy, in many different forms. One example is Luke Skywalker, who must have been a redneck because he fell in love with his sister, Leia. But surely he isn't the only Jedi Knight who happens to be a redneck. So if you suspect the local Jedi of being a redneck, here's a few ways to tell.
You might be a redneck Jedi if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
More than half the droids you own don't function.
The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.
Sandpeople back down from your mama.
You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.
A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.
You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And your brother...
Jedi Rednecks
Rednecks are not limited to Earth. They exist all across the galaxy, in many different forms. One example is Luke Skywalker, who must have been a redneck because he fell in love with his sister, Leia. But surely he isn't the only Jedi Knight who happens to be a redneck. So if you suspect the local Jedi of being a redneck, here's a few ways to tell.
You might be a redneck Jedi if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.
You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home.
More than half the droids you own don't function.
The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married.
You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.
Sandpeople back down from your mama.
You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.
A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave.
You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.
You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And your brother...
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