"Recovery" Question: Old man New man - Can old be new?

[NeverQuit]

Hello, everyone. I have a situation that has really been bothering me for a number of years.

I am happily married to a wonderful woman. She, in fact, is the reason I'm a Christian! I find her thoroughly attractive and fulfilling in the bedroom. No complaints at all! Zero! So...here's the situation: I was once a slave to looking at inappropriate contentography. Not so much hard core stuff, but sin is sin and inappropriate content is inappropriate content. Also, for as long as I can remember I have had a thing for female feet so naturally I gravitated to those sites. I looked and masturbated. Ugliness. Lust. Addiction. Sin.

I was saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit about 9 years ago. I immediately confessed my inappropriate contentography to my wife. (Her first marriage ended due to inappropriate content so that was NOT EASY!) She forgave me! I thought it best to not go into details about what kind of sites I was looking at....it seemed inappropriate. Regardless...she forgave and we moved on. I'm not going to say I've never stumbled since then, but it's not at all like it was before. Usually a quick peek at something (not on a "inappropriate content" site BTW) and I get convicted and immediately click off....then beat myself up for even looking. (FWIW - I haven't masturbated since my salvation. Not even close!) I have an accountability partner and that helps a ton! He looks at my online habits.

OK...here's the nitty gritty: My wife has beautiful feet....GORGEOUS. None I've seen come close. I have a thing for her feet. She is completely WILLING to use them in a marital way which I enjoy very much. She has no objections at all. Point of Confusion: I was once looking at inappropriate content to see other lady's feet. That inappropriate content stuff was the OLD MAN, right? So now am I still gratifying the OLD MAN by enjoying my wife's "feetures"? I don't go around and look at other ladies on the internet or in real life. I may glance, but I don't stare or lust or anything like that. So...am I feeding an old monster?

Honestly, some days I feel like I'm wrong and we shouldn't be doing that. Then there are days when I think the thief wants to steal this away and cause frustration in my marriage. You know... the old "you can look, but can't touch" routine.

I will say this: When I first went through my salvation and infilling 9 years ago I felt I was to stop and discussed it with my wife. We stopped. We didn't have "foot fun" for 3 years. I survived it just fine. But then time went on...there she is day after day: my wife! Perfectly willing and perfectly able. After a time I became frustrated! We spoke and I asked her to bring that back into our sex life. She agreed and it's been great! But am I still in bondage to sin here? Some days I think "yes" and other days I think "no." I WANT TO PLEASE GOD. But I don't want to miss out on a marital blessing that might just be FROM GOD either.

Thoughts??

 

[NeverQuit]

Ok... So.... Really? Nobody has any thoughts on this? For me it's been a perplexing situation. Am I falling back onto old habits and patterns? Or...Am I new and free to do this within the bonds of marriage ONLY?

 

[Joe 73]

. None I've seen come close. I have a thing for her feet. She is completely WILLING to use them in a marital way which I enjoy very much. She has no objections at all. Point of Confusion: I was once looking at inappropriate content to see other lady's feet. That inappropriate content stuff was the OLD MAN, right? So now am I still gratifying the OLD MAN by enjoying my wife's "feetures"? I don't go around and look at other ladies on the internet or in real life. I may glance, but I don't stare or lust or anything like that. So...am I feeding an old monster?

I would retitle the thread, If you can, so people know its about your foot fetish. I've never had this fetish and I know very little about it, but I hear that foot fetishes are very common. If you change the title, some people who have experience with this fetish might be able to find you better.

I have experience with some other fetishes, they can start as obssesions caused by trauma(howeaver mild or un-obvious) Your brain thinks you can fix the pain of that trauma by obsessing over something. You then sexualize that intense desire in puberty.

I don't know if all fetishes fit that mold, especially this one. cause I can't figure out what would cause this. Maybe you were ashamed of your feet? uh.... you were interested in girls feet when you were young, and then you were em
I've read on the internet that there is a theory that the brain gets mixed up and associates your feet with sexual arousal(and maybe by extension, other people's feet).

I don't think it is a sin. Some people say attraction to breasts is actually a fetish, and I don't think that is wrong in a marital context. But I am just guessing here.

I would pray to God honestly, Just let him know you are confused.

I hope someone comes along who knows more.

 

[Gretzky99]

Ok... So.... Really? Nobody has any thoughts on this? For me it's been a perplexing situation. Am I falling back onto old habits and patterns? Or...Am I new and free to do this within the bonds of marriage ONLY?

Hi,

In short, you should read Song of Solomon. The husband and the wife thoroughly enjoy each other's bodies. There is even scripture where the husband is describing his wife's feet.

I too have the foot fetish and am not doing nearly as well as you are. I am married, but my wife is not really married to me if you can understand. So sadly I turn to other outlets as there is NO intimacy in our own marriage, let alone foot enjoyment......but you are fine according to the scriptures in Song of Solomon. It's your wife. Enjoy her.