Rebound Relationships: Do they work?

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

I've never been in one, but I can't say I've ever seen them work either. I think possibly, on a rare occasion they can, but I really don't think that is the norm.

 

[Balugon]

A rebound relationship is one where u hook up with someone to try to get rid of the pain and loneliness that ur still suffering from another relationship ending. Most of the time they wont work. And even if u happen to be the luckiest person in the world and accidently start a relationship with the person God wanted u to be with out of it, it will probably still affect ur relationship in a negative way because ur still having issues with grieving over the last relationship.

 

[Inkachu]

Umm...no, they don't work. You're trying to pacify the leftover emotions from the former relationship with a new one. That isn't healthy or functional, and it will not create a healthy, functional new relationship.

I'd define a "rebound" as...any relationship you enter into without being 100%, fully, completely OVER every previous relationship. Some people are ready for something new within weeks, some months; others, it takes years to get over things.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Actually I'd say any relationship that is being used as a way to self medicate for any emotional issues probably won't work out too well.

 

[GuacaMolly]

I think that a rebound relationship is like trying to jump down a flight of stairs; somebody's gonna end up hurt and with a few choice words to say.

You're trying to distract yourself from the pain of the previous relationship and forego the healing process. We try to skip that step by hopping into someone else's arms, and it just doesn't work that way!


I feel like a lot of the time, someone on the rebound is running towards someone, arms outstretched, saying "Make me feel _______"

Happy? Beauiful? Needed? Desirous? Powerful? Loved?


I think that being ready to enter a healthy relationship, you have to be able to feel okay single.

That said, I'm sure that the amount of healing time needed depends on a lot of variables, so while one person may only need a month, someone else could probably use a year or more. This is just for me, but a good sign that I'm well on the mend is when I can look back on a relationship with nothing but a vague nostalgia. No sharp pangs, no what ifs.

Chris, it's funny that you mentioned '04, that was actually the year that I was a serial rebounder.

Yeah, none of those relationships even came close to working out. I think that I knew that before I even entered into them.

You know something I learned, though? You still have to go back and put in the work on healing. I hadn't ever dealt with my heartbreak issues, and they didn't go away. They just festered, there in the dark where I'd shoved them, until I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't realize it at the time, but the relationship I had a year later was, in a way, a rebound.

I don't know if anyone remembers, but one of the first threads I posted here was about how I didn't understand why all of these guys popped up out of nowhere after my breakup! I would get hit on, asked out on dates and told that I was beautiful all the time in public places. I'm convinced that the Enemy wanted me right back in another dead end relationship more than anything.

BUT, I have been victorious over cute guys in Starbucks, double date invitations, random compliments, the old flame coming out of the woodwork and more. I even resisted the urge to flirt with the guy from church in his 30's who I've secretly had a crush on since I was 16.


What do I win? lol


So, yeah. I don't think that rebound relationships are ever a good idea. Not in my case, anyway. That doesn't make them any less tempting in the moment, though.

 

[GQ Chris]

People have rebound marriages too.

 

[RefinedByFire]

Does anyone know the signs to look out for people on the rebound?

 

[GQ Chris]

Does anyone know the signs to look out for people on the rebound?

One of the biggest ones is that they don't have Peace in their life. People who are all over the place, lack clear thinking and common sense, make poor decisions..

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

I was in a rebound relationship and I am engaged to that person now.

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

Umm...no, they don't work. You're trying to pacify the leftover emotions from the former relationship with a new one. That isn't healthy or functional, and it will not create a healthy, functional new relationship.

I'd define a "rebound" as...any relationship you enter into without being 100%, fully, completely OVER every previous relationship. Some people are ready for something new within weeks, some months; others, it takes years to get over things.

I got engaged in early 2000. April 14th 2000 (eight years ago yesterday) that fiance died tragically in a car wreck. My current fiance understands that I am not all the way over him and I still love him. Will I ever be completely over him? I doubt it. According to your statement, that means I should never marry.

 

[RefinedByFire]

One of the biggest ones is that they don't have Peace in their life. People who are all over the place, lack clear thinking and common sense, make poor decisions..

Psst, huy! Barkada, eh?! Ayos ba.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Usually no, but they sometimes can. Don't try to be the exception to the rule, though - it's too risky and not really worth it.