Reasons to Quit

[Finn88]

I think im just needing some kind of encouragment here

Iv been reading all your posts about how well everyone is doing fighting their urges, and going for ages without harming themselves, and i truly am so happy for you! But at the same time i cant help myself from thinking "why bother?" its so hard!

its strange that i hold onto it so much just now when my life is going ok, nothing particularly terrible is happening, although i am going through a lot of change and i dont really like it, but i just dont feel like quiting right now. I've tried so many times before and each time the inevitability of starting again increased so now im just not trying!
Im also thinking that the only real reason i ever tried to quit was that it was so hard to hide during summer-indeed my brother caught me out because he noticed that i was wearing long sleeves all summer (allthough i was very carefull and varied my wardrobe a lot) he's an SI'r too so i suppose that did make him more likely to catch on anyway...but now winter is coming in so thats less of an issue!

Its not that i feel guilty about it, more that the impression i get from everyone else is that it is wrong and could get in between me and God...i guess i just hoped someone could help me to get the drive back to try quitting again?!

 

[mitiog]

I stopped because essentially someone I trust told me that I do not know where it will end. That was because for me, one form of realtively "mild" self-harm led on and on to much more serious stuff. Cutting releases endorphines (so-called "happy hormones") and trust me, cutting can be an addictive way to get these feel-good hormones. Like many addictions it is often the case that what starts off as "now and then" becomes "a few times a week" and ends up being a daily battle. More than that we are told to honour our bodies because they are temples of the Holy Spirit. That means looking after them emotionally and physically.

Possibly it depends too on why you cut. Usually it's a sign that something else is wrong and that something needs to be addressed perhaps with the help of someone whom you trust.

I would also recommend planning how you will stop if that is or becomes your intention. I threw all my razor blades away one night and life was fantastic for a few days. What I didn't do was look at why I was cutting in the first place and how I was going to cope without it. This resulted in a nasty relapse and several stays in hospital before I was stable enough to cope with life again.

PM me if you want to chat at any time.

mitiog

 

[Soulwings]

Finn. There are so many reasons to quit SIing. One of the big ones for me was when I suddenly realised what a toll it was taking on me. I'm not talking about the scars. I'm talking about the stress. It was wearing me down physically and mentally - always trying to hide it from people, or think up clever answers to the questions, or planning when next to cut and be able to get away with it. It'll feel like a huge rock was lifted off your chest when you don't have any of that to worry about anymore.

Another reason for me was that I saw how much it actually was involving the people around me. Of course, they knew that I was doing it - but even if they don't, it's hard to put up with the cutter's attitude, because I don't believe that you can always act "just like everyone else". You've got to be secretive and isolated, and that hurts those who want to get to know you and love you. And for me, when I opened my eyes and realised that I was actually hurting people ... I wanted to stop immediately. That didn't happen, it's not that easy ... but it was a HUGE incentive.

And it does take you away from God. Even if you spend time with Him, your mind is always preoccupied. It's so hard to focus on anything except cutting, or your recent cuts, etc. God felt so far away to me ... but He's never far away. It's us who are either close or far away. At least, that's what I believe in this case. You're devoting your life to sin, and that breaks God's heart. He loves you so much, and He wants for you to give all that to Him. You're dishonoring His creation - how would you feel if you gave a little girl a beautiful, handmade stuffed animal that had taken you hours to create ... and she spent hours destroying it, ripping out threads, tearing apart the fabric - instead of loving it as you had intended her to? Hehe, I don't know why that just jumped to mind ... but I think it is somewhat accurate. He's taken time to create you just as you are, yet you are so bent on harming that beautiful creation.

You don't want to be doing this the rest of your life. You're young yet. You've got a life to live, a future ahead of you. And you don't want it to be tainted by the anguish of having this thing, this beast that you've got to always hide. And I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to live, to love, truly and deeply ... to laugh, to enjoy things, to be able to be silly, to be comfortable once again in tshirts and tanktops and shorts. Life with SI is such a terrible burden. Life without it feels so ... free.

If you want to talk, I'm always here, anytime.

 

[Im-revived]

I don't want you to feel negative about how you feel, rather look at it as God wants you to attempt overcoming the issue again. So think of it as positive. Many people who struggle with SI and try to overcome it, don't manage it straight away. I think your looking at other posts and thinking 'ok theyve done it immediately, and I promise you many will have struggled like you thinking 'Why should I bother'. But realise maybe now is another chance to try.
Issues to look at once it doesn't effect you!

1. No hiding away
2. No planning on how to cover up especially in summer
3. None of the horrible feelings after.

Im-revived

I think im just needing some kind of encouragment here

Iv been reading all your posts about how well everyone is doing fighting their urges, and going for ages without harming themselves, and i truly am so happy for you! But at the same time i cant help myself from thinking "why bother?" its so hard!

its strange that i hold onto it so much just now when my life is going ok, nothing particularly terrible is happening, although i am going through a lot of change and i dont really like it, but i just dont feel like quiting right now. I've tried so many times before and each time the inevitability of starting again increased so now im just not trying!
Im also thinking that the only real reason i ever tried to quit was that it was so hard to hide during summer-indeed my brother caught me out because he noticed that i was wearing long sleeves all summer (allthough i was very carefull and varied my wardrobe a lot) he's an SI'r too so i suppose that did make him more likely to catch on anyway...but now winter is coming in so thats less of an issue!

Its not that i feel guilty about it, more that the impression i get from everyone else is that it is wrong and could get in between me and God...i guess i just hoped someone could help me to get the drive back to try quitting again?!

 

[berry2000]

I'm trying to quit because I believe that God made me special. And that I am a treasured, precious, chosen child who does not deserve to be harmed. And believe me it took me a long time just to be able to type that. But I know it is the truth not just for me but for each and every one of us. That's my reason anyways.

 

[Finn88]

Thanx every1
Soulwings,
wot you said about it hurting other people...i know wot you mean. It breaks my heart because i know they care about me. My Dad found out and got really upset and angry with me its really hard to talk to him now. This makes me feel worse cos we used to be close,we were fine right up untill he found out.Keeping the secret wasnt hard for me, it wasnt an issue. But one time when i wanted to quit i told a few close friends, and they are soooo good! They're all a few years older than me so they're pretty clued up on life and a whole range of issues and they bend over backwards to help me...i've never felt so loved! But now i feel like giving up and i wish they didnt know because then they wouldnt get hurt!
Mitiog,
I'm never done trying to work out why i do it but it just dosnt make sense and its so frustrating for me i've been thinking about councelling but i think i'm too much of a wuss!
im scared to let go...but im doing a year out with a Christian youth organisation and i know i cant keep going with both i need God on my side for this...im so scared!

 

[Im-revived]

YOUVE MANAGED TO WRITE IT! WELL DONE All those words youve written are the most positive things anyone in your situation can write, I'm so proud of you. What would be good if you can now is write them again and leave them on a piece of paper that you know will keep safe, when you feel bad read it if you can. Just by reading what youve put you'll pull through this 100%.

Im-revived

I'm trying to quit because I believe that God made me special. And that I am a treasured, precious, chosen child who does not deserve to be harmed. And believe me it took me a long time just to be able to type that. But I know it is the truth not just for me but for each and every one of us. That's my reason anyways.

 

[0145xyz]

1. nasty scars
2. can make you feel distant from God
3. does limit a lot of things in your life if you hide them
4. it's embaressing to get caught or for people to see the cuts
5. the state of mind can be affected and it seems to make me more antisocial then i already am.
6. you have to worry about having a "tool" on you and if you don't it can cause like a panic attack or whatever.
7. it can postpone/halter resolution of underlying problems
8. i think it gets more addictive over time and you'll have to do it more and more until you have the worst scars ever on your body or die by accident.
9. it can get in the way of God's plan for your life
10. It's not a healthy coping skill and you'd never want someone to learn it from you-then get addicted themselves.(this is a great motivator for parents)

Good luck sweetie-you can quit! You have God and you have us, and i think you said you had some real life friends who could help you too.

 

[WingsOfTheNeophyte]

I think im just needing some kind of encouragment here

Iv been reading all your posts about how well everyone is doing fighting their urges, and going for ages without harming themselves, and i truly am so happy for you! But at the same time i cant help myself from thinking "why bother?" its so hard!

Perhaps to help you quit, you may want to look at the underlying issues, that have caused this

This is difficult, it causes you to look inside yourself, but no matter how much any of us may hate to look inside and question ourselves, this should be helpfull

I cant give you a Christian way of doing this but perhaps my way, too, is helpfull

Consider the three major fears, in almost every fear, to some extent one of these three is present

1) Fear of death
2) Fear of being poor
3) Fear of loss of love

The last two, should be considered carefully, are you afraid of being poor, in money, in friends, in feelings, in anything?

Are you afraid to loose love?

Fear is that something in human subsonciuos, it controls many of our thoughts and actions, emotions,

The first step, to freedom from fear, is getting rid of self pity, we all pity ourselves however this is usless, it acheives no purpose,

Normally to get rid of this fear, a good relegion is helpfull, Christianity should work here, you should realise that nothing in this material world holds importance, nothing can hurt you, you are immortal a soul that cannot be killed, a being that cannot be harmed, Jesus said clearly, that when a soul is made, it cannot be unmade

Being immortal, and unable to be hurt by the material world, you should consider, how are your actions helping you to progress, and to what extent do these actions bring you closer to, or farther away from fear

Huring yourself, consider, what do you acheive?

Is there a better way to acheive this?

How is this caused, and why? The reasons, do they lie in the past, future or present

About these three, the past is gone and you can never go back, the future has not yet come, what is inevitable will surely befall you, what can be changed, is only up to you

And as for the present, this is the most important time, this is when things can be changed and a difference can be made

So if the reasons for SI, are in the past, bury them, they no longer hold importance, if they are in the future, do not worry, there is still time, if they are in the present, do something for if you wish your life to hold a purpose, meaning, your actions are nessesary to affect the river of time, nothing that can be changed, will change unless you take control, and without control we are not better than plants, for even animals have control


In a way what I mean to say is, look at the reasons, evaluate them, look at your fears, evaluate them, get rid of the fears, and take control of the present in order to change


Perhaps this will help you, good luck anyways