really struggling here

[michael636]

Hi my name is michael I am 28 years old married with an 8 year old daughter. This is my first posting so please bare with me as I truely am struggling with thing reguarding sexual behaviors. I want to start out by saying I am a christian how ever for a long time now I have been a 10% christian the other 90% I dont know what I have been doing. Lately the things I have been doing have really started to effect me.

First I was to give you a brake down of what I am dealing with. Ever since I learned about touching yourself at a young age I have been doing it non stop. At first it was the exsitement of somthing new now it is an evil habbit i can not brake.

Overe the years My sexuality has been tested. I fantisised about being with men. well my fantisy became to strong and i broke. Yes I have slept wit men. it is very hard for me to be upfont abou this. so please be easy on me. Wile i was doing the act i enjoyed it but wen i was done i felt guilty terible ashamed like the the lord him self was ashamed of me. now i find my self fantisiseing wile i am with my wife sexauly. It is destroing me and i cant fix it on my own

I guess what i am saying is i need help I dont know were to turn next and i want to change. Currently i am not apart of a church and have not been since i was a child. seems every were i go now i see a church a bible somthing that makes me feel the guilt and want to change. i just dont know the next step. please help me. this is destroying me

 

[apologia25]

Hey Brother,
You have come to the right place. I would encourage your first step is to go to
Freedom from habitual sin: Overeating, Pornography, Smoking, Drinking and enter yourself in the door of hope course. It is a
90 day discipleship course designed to lead you from homosexual sin into life. I strongly recommend it.

 

[apologia25]

Hey Brother,
You have come to the right place. I would encourage your first step is to go to
Freedom from habitual sin: Overeating, Pornography, Smoking, Drinking and enter yourself in the door of hope course. It is a
90 day discipleship course designed to lead you from homosexual sin into life. I strongly recommend it.

 

[Sharon10]

Hello Michael,

Thank you for being honest and sharing your problems here. God loves honest people. Most important thing - there is hope for you. Only God can change you by the power of His Holy Spirit. I used to struggle with the sin of masturbation for 8 long years, and reached the lowest point in my life one day. Thats when our Lord Jesus Christ intervened in my life and led me to online ministry Setting Captives Free. I took up the 60 day interactive course called Way of Purity and Jesus completely set me free through the power of His Holy Spirit. They also have courses for homosexuality. These courses are free to join and they have mentors who pray for you and counsel you. Please write to me for more details.

Sharon

 

[RichardKeith]

Michael.
I have walked the painful road you now journey on. It is good you are reaching out for elp. I know who that THe inner struggle is almost unbearable as the feeling of guilt and shame weigh upon you as dark gloomy clouds. I remember how that the secrecy around my same sex attractions and acting out began to consume enormous quanties of my creative time and energy. My marriage was not in a good space, and as a result the deep guilt and longing I felt for intimacy was directed towards my same sex attractions and alienated me all the more from my wife. What a vicious circle all of this became. I was dying on the inside and drowning in condemnation as I gave more more liberty to acting on my same sex attractions and uncontrolled touching yourself.
I needed a mircale in my life, I was tired of making new deals with myself, building up higher wall and crashing through them before the cement was hardened.
It was only as I hit a hard hard rock bottom that I became ready to face what it would take for me to find the way out of the prision cave I was held prisioner to.
I am thankful to report as I hit rock bottom, the Love of God in the person of Jesus Christ was so totally present to hold me tightly and not let me go. I was brusied and beaten up on the inside and given up on myself for failing my wife and kids, yet Christ began to lift the enormous burden of my guilt and shame and was my conscious and return a peace and order to my life.
I won't lie to you, or sugar coat what I am about to say.........the road is not an easy one, nor is it an impossible one. Here are a couple of sign posts you have got to learn to recognize and pay close attention to if you want to begin the journey
1. Cast yourself upon the Love of God in Jesus Christ and hand over to him, not just your sexual disfunction, but your guilt and shame...ASK HIM TO CLEANSE AND FORGIVE YOU. IF THIS TAKES DAYS....THEN DAYS IT WILL TAKE. FIND A QUIET UNDISTRACTED PLACE YOU CAN RETREAT TO CONSISTANTLY UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE THIS 1ST BREAK THROUGH FROM THE HEAVEN AND THE HEART OF GOD.
2. Get in touch with the fact that in your fallen, weaken condition.....you are absolutely powerless over master the powerful urges, and lusts towards touching yourself and same sex attractions. You can white knuckle all you want, you already know it doesn't work...so its time to renounce your membership to the white knuckle club and DECLARE WITH A YEARNING HEART REACHING OUT TO GOD.....THAT YOU WANT TO TRUST HIM TO BRING STRENGTH, DETERMINATION, AND COMMITTMENT INTO YOUR MIND AND WILL TO BEABLE TO TRUST HIM TO INFUSE WITHIN YOU CONTROL AND SANITY IN THIS AREA OF YOUR LIFE WHICH HAS BEEN OUT OF CONTROL.
3. I strongly advise you to begin to look where you can get help, and reach out for such help. I was astonded that there were actually Christian Therpists who knew how to help me deal with my homosexual feeling, and help me understand the deeper struggles I was missing. Also I was blown away when I found a Christian group of men, struggleing with all types of sexual addictions issues, to which I was welcome to attend. There I was able to experience accepted....the kind which blew me away.....OH HOW I FEARED THEIR REJECTION AS I DISCLOSED MY SECRETS.......BUT JUST THE OPPSITE OCCURED!
THESE INCREDIBLE CHRISTIAN MEN MOVE TOWARDS ME AND MANY BECAME MY FRIENDS.
Michael, though the road before you is difficult....take courage....follow my foot steps.
PS Dude...find a fantastic Christian Church that Love Jesus, and worships HIM is spirit and truth in a contemporary manner that reaches down deeply into your soul a draws you nearer to Christ strengthening your faith in HIM!
Things will get better if you do!
Richard Keith

 

[michael636]

Michael.
I have walked the painful road you now journey on. It is good you are reaching out for elp. I know who that THe inner struggle is almost unbearable as the feeling of guilt and shame weigh upon you as dark gloomy clouds. I remember how that the secrecy around my same sex attractions and acting out began to consume enormous quanties of my creative time and energy. My marriage was not in a good space, and as a result the deep guilt and longing I felt for intimacy was directed towards my same sex attractions and alienated me all the more from my wife. What a vicious circle all of this became. I was dying on the inside and drowning in condemnation as I gave more more liberty to acting on my same sex attractions and uncontrolled touching yourself.
I needed a mircale in my life, I was tired of making new deals with myself, building up higher wall and crashing through them before the cement was hardened.
It was only as I hit a hard hard rock bottom that I became ready to face what it would take for me to find the way out of the prision cave I was held prisioner to.
I am thankful to report as I hit rock bottom, the Love of God in the person of Jesus Christ was so totally present to hold me tightly and not let me go. I was brusied and beaten up on the inside and given up on myself for failing my wife and kids, yet Christ began to lift the enormous burden of my guilt and shame and was my conscious and return a peace and order to my life.
I won't lie to you, or sugar coat what I am about to say.........the road is not an easy one, nor is it an impossible one. Here are a couple of sign posts you have got to learn to recognize and pay close attention to if you want to begin the journey
1. Cast yourself upon the Love of God in Jesus Christ and hand over to him, not just your sexual disfunction, but your guilt and shame...ASK HIM TO CLEANSE AND FORGIVE YOU. IF THIS TAKES DAYS....THEN DAYS IT WILL TAKE. FIND A QUIET UNDISTRACTED PLACE YOU CAN RETREAT TO CONSISTANTLY UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE THIS 1ST BREAK THROUGH FROM THE HEAVEN AND THE HEART OF GOD.
2. Get in touch with the fact that in your fallen, weaken condition.....you are absolutely powerless over master the powerful urges, and lusts towards touching yourself and same sex attractions. You can white knuckle all you want, you already know it doesn't work...so its time to renounce your membership to the white knuckle club and DECLARE WITH A YEARNING HEART REACHING OUT TO GOD.....THAT YOU WANT TO TRUST HIM TO BRING STRENGTH, DETERMINATION, AND COMMITTMENT INTO YOUR MIND AND WILL TO BEABLE TO TRUST HIM TO INFUSE WITHIN YOU CONTROL AND SANITY IN THIS AREA OF YOUR LIFE WHICH HAS BEEN OUT OF CONTROL.
3. I strongly advise you to begin to look where you can get help, and reach out for such help. I was astonded that there were actually Christian Therpists who knew how to help me deal with my homosexual feeling, and help me understand the deeper struggles I was missing. Also I was blown away when I found a Christian group of men, struggleing with all types of sexual addictions issues, to which I was welcome to attend. There I was able to experience accepted....the kind which blew me away.....OH HOW I FEARED THEIR REJECTION AS I DISCLOSED MY SECRETS.......BUT JUST THE OPPSITE OCCURED!
THESE INCREDIBLE CHRISTIAN MEN MOVE TOWARDS ME AND MANY BECAME MY FRIENDS.
Michael, though the road before you is difficult....take courage....follow my foot steps.
PS Dude...find a fantastic Christian Church that Love Jesus, and worships HIM is spirit and truth in a contemporary manner that reaches down deeply into your soul a draws you nearer to Christ strengthening your faith in HIM!
Things will get better if you do!
Richard Keith

Hi I am sorry for the late reply. Well I like what you had to say. I will take those steps. I have tried to do it on my own and it is just not posible. I have come to realize I need to join a christian group and have support. I am deeply struggling with this and It is efecting my relationship with my wife more than I ever thought it would. The guilt is destroying me as well. I saw from a post above there are groups that can help with the struggle of homosexual thoughts and act I am looking into that as well. again thank you veru much.