really need some help/marriage q?

[cmarie423]

Hey everyone, for those of you who know anything about this I just want to see what the outcome will be. I'm catholic and fiance is not but he was baptized catholic when he was younger. Because I'm pregnant we do what to get married in the church and he does want to start rcia in the fall so he's going to become one but I'm just wondering how long it might take to just get permission to get married by the priest, or if it's even going to be a hassle. We want to be married before the baby comes in september. I'm making an appointment with my father tomorrow but I'm really wondering about this.

Thanks.

 

[Rhamiel]

oh wow, i have no idea
sorry
hope everything is going well for you sister

 

[Eucharisted]

There is a slim chance the Church will marry you. Fornication is a big impediment to marriage. Pray and trust in God; whatever comes is His Will.

 

[Anhelyna]

Hmmm - this is a question that my Orthodox brothers and sisters would term an AYP - ask your priest He is the only one who can actually tell you with any authority

BTW you said in reference to your Fiancé

I'm catholic and fiance is not but he was baptized catholic when he was younger.

I presume he received none of the other Sacraments - but actually , if this is so , and he'll need more information to prove/disprove this - he IS Catholic .

It's no good - this is a question for your priest , oh and expect to be told that you should live separately until you are married.

 

[skatepixie]

If you are baptized a Catholic, you are Catholic. RCIA would only be for him to recieve Communion and Confirmation, I assume. The requirement for a Sacramental marriage is two baptized Christians, so you meet that requirement.

However, expect extra questioning from the priest due to your age and pregnancy. He will want to make sure that you are choosing to marry due to a desire to marry this man that would exist even if you were not pregnant. They may very well still marry you, but there will be questions.

 

[Eucharisted]

Hmmm - this is a question that my Orthodox brothers and sisters would term an AYP - ask your priest He is the only one who can actually tell you with any authority

BTW you said in reference to your Fiancé


I presume he received none of the other Sacraments - but actually , if this is so , and he'll need more information to prove/disprove this - he IS Catholic .

It's no good - this is a question for your priest , oh and expect to be told that you should live separately until you are married.

I second this. Way better advice than what I gave.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

There is a slim chance the Church will marry you. Fornication is a big impediment to marriage. Pray and trust in God; whatever comes is His Will.

WRONG ANSWER


Jim

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Your fiance is a Baptise Catholic. However, he'll have to
receive Confirmation and Holy Communion. Talk to the priest,
RCIA prep is less than for non Baptised people.

Second, both of you will have to go through marriage preparation,
and traditionally this takes about one year.

It may very well be that you'll see the birth of your child before you can be married.

A word of advice, don't get married because you think you have to for the sake of the child. Marriage is between you and your fiance. You must both be giving yourself to each other, freely.

The bottom line is, you both need to start talking with your priest.

He'll give you the answers you won't find on the web.

Jim

 

[Fantine]

I have heard that the Church would prefer that couples in the family way wait until after the baby is born, because they don't want a decision to be made under duress.

There is also a six-month waiting period to allow for completion of pre-Cana classes, etc.

But there isn't any requirement that both parties be Catholic. A spouse can convert at any time during the marriage. There can still be a Nuptial Mass but only the Catholic party can receive Communion.

Congratulations on your baby and your engagement, and best wishes for a happy marriage.

 

[BAFRIEND]

okay- as someone who was an RCIA team member i will tell you a couple things:

if your fiance was baptised in the Church he is already in fact a Catholic and if the RCIA at your parish trys to push him into the program i would parish shop

i am not making this up

go talk to a priest about his actual status in the Church

 

[cmarie423]

Thank-you, yeah I am going to have to talk to my priest still. Thanks for clearing that up my parish office kept telling me he has to go to rcia classes to be an actual catholic. It didn't make sense to me because he was baptised into the faith. I'm pretty sure he's still going to have to go though am I right?

 

[BAFRIEND]

Thank-you, yeah I am going to have to talk to my priest still. Thanks for clearing that up my parish office kept telling me he has to go to rcia classes to be an actual catholic. It didn't make sense to me because he was baptised into the faith. I'm pretty sure he's still going to have to go though am I right?

parish shop then if you dont like the answer they give you

if he wants to go through the program- fine; if not my experience is to parish shop. even in the same diocese i was at- you could go to one parish and spend three years in the progam or if you went to the bordering parish in the same diocese you were in and out in three months

so, i always tell anyone involved in going through rcia to parish shop

and my opinion of rcia programs after havin spent some years on a team is you are probably not any better off going to the local park and getting religous advice from the half drunk whinos playing chess on the grass

 

[cmarie423]

The one problem I had with rcia was that most of the teachers aren't the parish priest they're the converts from the years previous which is fine but I know a lot more then most of them since I have sat there while they were doing class. It would be easier to home teach and then just have him get communion and confirmed privately somehow but I doubt that can happen. Obviously we do want to do things the right way in light of the situation but we would have already been married by now at this point. Outside of the church, but I guess it's like a mortal sin and then I wouldn't be able to participate in mass. Ugh. Whole thing is complicated.

 

[BAFRIEND]

The one problem I had with rcia was that most of the teachers aren't the parish priest they're the converts from the years previous which is fine but I know a lot more then most of them since I have sat there while they were doing class. It would be easier to home teach and then just have him get communion and confirmed privately somehow but I doubt that can happen. Obviously we do want to do things the right way in light of the situation but we would have already been married by now at this point. Outside of the church, but I guess it's like a mortal sin and then I wouldn't be able to participate in mass. Ugh. Whole thing is complicated.

at the parish i was at policy was basically you were going to spend two years in the program... it is up to the priest so we were left trying to keep things hush hush when things like the priest accepting someone who never spent a day in RCIA was given first communion and accepted during a weekday mass...

and then, this is a lay program with many confused peoples who have zero training in to deal with serious social and even psychotic situations encontered when you deal with adults with much baggage- we probably did as much damage as good when i was in RCIA and for some we had in some of the situations we handled i would say we may have demolished people...

if your fiance was baptised in the RCIA he has rights- he is recognized as having a permanen seal from that sacrament.. dont be fooled into believing otherwise- it may be as simple as going to confession and just going up and receiving without ceremony

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Thank-you, yeah I am going to have to talk to my priest still. Thanks for clearing that up my parish office kept telling me he has to go to rcia classes to be an actual catholic. It didn't make sense to me because he was baptised into the faith. I'm pretty sure he's still going to have to go though am I right?

He may have to go through RCIA for preparation for Confirmation.

There are different levels of RCIA, one is for converts, one is for those who have not made their Confirmation. There are some parishes that have a level for reverts to the Catholic faith.

Don't blow off RCIA. Most of the programs are very informative and he'll have a better understanding of the Catholic faith.

Either way, we must follow God's will for us. Our job is to accept whatever He sends to us.

Jim

 

[cmarie423]

It would be nice, I don't really understand what qualifies you to be able to receive communion. I always thought as long as you knew what it was and you go to confession and are in a state of grace it's fine. But it's been years for me so idk. It would be nice if things were a bit more simplified because while I know why it takes a while I'm just afraid that by the time the baby comes around there won't be as much time for all of this and it would be nice if it was done before

 

[BAFRIEND]

He may have to go through RCIA for preparation for Confirmation.

There are different levels of RCIA, one is for converts, one is for those who have not made their Confirmation. There are some parishes that have a level for reverts to the Catholic faith.

Don't blow off RCIA. Most of the programs are very informative and he'll have a better understanding of the Catholic faith.

Either way, we must follow God's will for us. Our job is to accept whatever He sends to us.

Jim

confirmation is not a requirment for receiving Holy Communion-

as informative as rcia can be- it is not the only source for information or an only route for what the OP wishes to accomplish; and it was never meant as the route for a person baptised in the RCC to take; and i would b very careful about inserting God's will into this

we have kids under 10 receiving communion and they are still learning; it has nothing to do with knowledge

 

[JimR-OCDS]

It would be nice, I don't really understand what qualifies you to be able to receive communion. I always thought as long as you knew what it was and you go to confession and are in a state of grace it's fine. But it's been years for me so idk. It would be nice if things were a bit more simplified because while I know why it takes a while I'm just afraid that by the time the baby comes around there won't be as much time for all of this and it would be nice if it was done before

To receive Holy Communion, a person must be Baptised and without mortal sin.

Its not required that they have received Confirmation, but for a Catholic to be married in the Catholic Church, Confirmation is a prerequisite.

I think its more important right now for you to desire to accept Jesus into your life, than it is to worry about the process of coming into full union with the Catholic Church. If you do the later with out the former, you'll merely be practicing religion and this is more harmful than good.

Jesus must be the head of your life and that of your fiance's.

If you draw a triangle on a piece of paper, write God at the top, your fiance's name at the left corner of the base, and your name at the right corner of the base. As you move your name and your fiance's name closer to God at the top, you'll notice that the two of you will come closer together. If only one of you moves towards God, you'll move further apart.


Christ must be the head of your marriage. It is through Him that marriage becomes a holy union designed by God. The two of you will become one, as you both become one with God.

God Bless
Jim

 

[BAFRIEND]

To receive Holy Communion, a person must be Baptised and without mortal sin.

Its not required that they have received Confirmation, but for a Catholic to be married in the Catholic Church, Confirmation is a prerequisite.

I think its more important right now for you to desire to accept Jesus into your life, than it is to worry about the process of coming into full union with the Catholic Church. If you do the later with out the former, you'll merely be practicing religion and this is more harmful than good.

Jesus must be the head of your life and that of your fiance's.

If you draw a triangle on a piece of paper, write God at the top, your fiance's name at the left corner of the base, and your name at the right corner of the base. As you move your name and your fiance's name closer to God at the top, you'll notice that the two of you will come closer together. If only one of you moves towards God, you'll move further apart.


Christ must be the head of your marriage. It is through Him that marriage becomes a holy union designed by God. The two of you will become one, as you both become one with God.

God Bless
Jim

you know, be careful about educating others about what and why is important to them in their lives when it comes to making a decision like this that will impact them for years to come- you dont have to watch every episode of Dallas to find out who shor JR- just one

 

[SpiritualAntiseptic]

There is a slim chance the Church will marry you. Fornication is a big impediment to marriage. Pray and trust in God; whatever comes is His Will.

Pre-marital sex is absolutely not an impediment to marriage.