really depressed

[français]

hey you guys,

ok my life has been a very very very hard life. i'm going to vent on why..

so first off i realized i was gay. i have always been very gay friendly and have always stood up for gays and lesbians, so i didn't have a problem at all accepting myself for who i am. but it's my parents who just won't accept it. they've always been extremely homophobic. i remember as a teen some singer came out as gay and my mom said he's still a good singer and my dad was all saying how he wasn't a man, and just totally bashing him. and they always bash homosexuals. so coming out was the hardest thing in my life.. especially for me, because i also have a problem of seeing other people get hurt. so it was soo hard. and i have been depressed day by day ever since. never have i gone a day without crying. never.

and now the other thing is i care wayy too much about everyone and everything. like if i hear some racist comment i just start balling in tears, or if someone makes fun of someone i just start crying, and it's just too much for me to bear seeing all of these problems in this world.

and i have a dad who i have never gotten along with and it just hurts so much because i've missed so much as a kid. it's like living without a father my whole life. we just never talked, and if we did we were fighting. and i just regret it so much.

and it's just too much for me to bear. i hate it. i hate my life. i hate the world i live in. i hate everything. nothing has ever gone the way i want it to. and i'm too scared to tell anyone.. i won't even go to a therapist, because i don't trust anyone anymore. so i just sit here night after night trying to just be positive but it doesn't work.

and i don't know how to get over this and i am so tired of it. and now i pick on others and i'm rude now because i just hate life and have given up.

how do i get over this terrible depression?

and please, don't tell me how being gay is wrong and all.. i've heard it too many times.

 

[Jessica Lauren]

I'm sorry. I'm glad you came to terms with who you are. Have you tried telling your parents EXACTLY how you feel? It might be really hard but it could be worth it. Good luck! I'll be praying for you

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

hey you guys,

ok my life has been a very very very hard life. i'm going to vent on why..

so first off i realized i was gay. i have always been very gay friendly and have always stood up for gays and lesbians, so i didn't have a problem at all accepting myself for who i am. but it's my parents who just won't accept it. they've always been extremely homophobic. i remember as a teen some singer came out as gay and my mom said he's still a good singer and my dad was all saying how he wasn't a man, and just totally bashing him. and they always bash homosexuals. so coming out was the hardest thing in my life.. especially for me, because i also have a problem of seeing other people get hurt. so it was soo hard. and i have been depressed day by day ever since. never have i gone a day without crying. never.

and now the other thing is i care wayy too much about everyone and everything. like if i hear some racist comment i just start balling in tears, or if someone makes fun of someone i just start crying, and it's just too much for me to bear seeing all of these problems in this world.

and i have a dad who i have never gotten along with and it just hurts so much because i've missed so much as a kid. it's like living without a father my whole life. we just never talked, and if we did we were fighting. and i just regret it so much.

and it's just too much for me to bear. i hate it. i hate my life. i hate the world i live in. i hate everything. nothing has ever gone the way i want it to. and i'm too scared to tell anyone.. i won't even go to a therapist, because i don't trust anyone anymore. so i just sit here night after night trying to just be positive but it doesn't work.

and i don't know how to get over this and i am so tired of it. and now i pick on others and i'm rude now because i just hate life and have given up.

how do i get over this terrible depression?

and please, don't tell me how being gay is wrong and all.. i've heard it too many times.

Lots and lots of 's to you little brother

I'll confess to you right now that your post brought tears to my eyes - if we were in the same room I would have just held you and we both would have cried together. I felt so much rejection and heartache.... and lack of love from this world given to you.

So no, what you don't need right now is anyone judging you. We ALL fall short from the Glory of God. There is not one of us qualified to figuratively pick up a stone against you. I battle daily with the things within me that is between me and God.

For you right now all I can offer is prayer and support while you hang out here.

I've just had some quiet time with the Lord this morning and I'd highly recommend it. If you can, seek His will daily. Daily acknowledge that in line with His Word, you wish to serve Him. Be expected to receive the unexpected in return though

Being mindful of Gal 5:16-23 I'm personally slowly and prayerfully being taken through what I call a spiritual cleanout. The Holy Spirit led me to confront and deal with areas still in my life which clung to some aspects of verse 20 (not all I hasten to add!). It hasn't been a comfortable cleanout, but I am not being taken through it on my own, the Lord is always with me to mop up the tears.

You exhibit such love that I feel as though the Lord desires you to come to him also, but that you will need to walk with the Lord to confront those areas in your life.

But it will be between you and God and it will be at your own pace.

So don't be discouraged when people come to you aggressively saying that being gay is wrong. That will be a ploy to keep you in the place where you are. The Lord desires you to search this out yourself, but you need His comfort first, you need to realise how much He loves you. The Holy Spirit will first heal your pain (the pain which made me cry ), then you will be in a position to see the difference between this world and the Lord's will.

I can only talk from personal experience, but I sincerely believe what is written in verse 17. And when we plea for relief the Lord will gently take us through those areas of our life that are in conflict with His purpose. But it is at YOUR pace and not anyone elses.

Please do come and visit here, if you need anyone to pray for you, let us know. When you need some hugs, come and all of us will give it.

I stand by 2 Cor 1:4 and want to encourage you that I will be continually praying for you, little brother.

Now let me go and get some kleenex

Love in Christ
LP

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

*Double Post* Oh bananas....

Thought my first post hadn't posted, but it had!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I been thinking about this type of stuff.

I would use;

Matthew 7

"“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others.[a] The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged."

Matthew 12

"48 Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” 49 Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. 50 Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!”"

Matthew 22

"37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[e] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[f] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”"

As I look at it, god made homosexuals. Other than issue of marrage imo, we shouldn't shun them. They are still our brothers and sister, just they have things differ not by choice.

I think your parents have to get over their fears and pride. They seriously need to ask themselves that would god want them to scruttenize you for something you don't have a choice in?

I will pray for you bro.

 

[praying]

hey you guys,

ok my life has been a very very very hard life. i'm going to vent on why..

so first off i realized i was gay. i have always been very gay friendly and have always stood up for gays and lesbians, so i didn't have a problem at all accepting myself for who i am. but it's my parents who just won't accept it. they've always been extremely homophobic. i remember as a teen some singer came out as gay and my mom said he's still a good singer and my dad was all saying how he wasn't a man, and just totally bashing him. and they always bash homosexuals. so coming out was the hardest thing in my life.. especially for me, because i also have a problem of seeing other people get hurt. so it was soo hard. and i have been depressed day by day ever since. never have i gone a day without crying. never.

and now the other thing is i care wayy too much about everyone and everything. like if i hear some racist comment i just start balling in tears, or if someone makes fun of someone i just start crying, and it's just too much for me to bear seeing all of these problems in this world.

and i have a dad who i have never gotten along with and it just hurts so much because i've missed so much as a kid. it's like living without a father my whole life. we just never talked, and if we did we were fighting. and i just regret it so much.

and it's just too much for me to bear. i hate it. i hate my life. i hate the world i live in. i hate everything. nothing has ever gone the way i want it to. and i'm too scared to tell anyone.. i won't even go to a therapist, because i don't trust anyone anymore. so i just sit here night after night trying to just be positive but it doesn't work.

and i don't know how to get over this and i am so tired of it. and now i pick on others and i'm rude now because i just hate life and have given up.

how do i get over this terrible depression?

The simple answer counseling and possibly medication. Please give counseling a try.

As for the crying at everything, that sounds like a function of your depression to me. I remember when I first suffered from severe depression, I would sit at my desk and just cry. I would say to myself why can't I stop crying? With counseling and eventually medication, things got better though.

Good luck and God bless.

 

[français]

thanks you guys for the words of encouragment. it has really made me feel better.

btw i will try and get a therapist.

oh, and hug to you *Lotuspetal_uk*. thanks for being so nice!

 

[restore]

I v read a testimony about an american famous pastor, he is v spiritual guy and married a good wife, has 2 kids. but he was not happy all his life, he even did not know why.......until someday he realized finally by a chance that he was a gay.....wow...he felt v shock at it, but it also encouraged him to seek healing seriously.
He stopped the pastor job, and joined some healing group and etc, traveled to different places, he spent 3 years on this recovery course, at first it was so hard...but finally he got healed and now he is a happy husband and happy pastor again i