I wouldn't intentionally let my child put themself in harms way or in danger....
...however, we are not punitive in our discipline. We set (with input from the kiddos) our family rules and post them. Each week at our family meeting we give ourselves points for how well we've followed those rules and have a goal of getting a certain amount ofpoints. If we reach that goal we'll do something together as a family.
If a kid in my house hits , bites, pinches, etc. another...they are immediately removed from the situation- reminded or asked the appropriate rule---given the option of sitting with me or by themselves to get to a place where we can talk about what happened and a place where they are ready to apologize....they can't move on with their day until the apologize sincerely to the person who they hurt.
I also don't care if my kids want to eat or not- but the meal is not going to go on endlessly and the kitchen is not open all day. I've got five kids and if I let everyone just come back to their dinner when they felt like it- I'd be cleaning endlessly. I get their input on planning the week's meals, I get their help preparing the meals- dinner is the only meal which they are not allowed to just eat whatever it is that they feel like eating (each meal in our house it is required to have a protein, a whole grain , and a fruit or veggie--even the ones they fix for themselves). My job is to prepare the food- their job is to eat it. I won't force them to eat, but neither am I going to bend over backwards to get them to eat. If they don't want to eat the dinner that has been prepared- that's their choice- but they won't be eating later.
I think it all gets to the heart of the matter- to write that I don't view my children as my advesaries. My kids are really, really good kids....there are things about each of them that drives me batty that I grow frustrated with--however-I see the results of our parenting when they are in other settings- classses and playing and such.
Just because we don't punish doesn't mean we don't have boundaries...we have very clear boundaries. They are enforced consistently. The kids are also taught how to live within those boundaries--it's not just expected that they have intuitive knowledge of the world...they need to be taught.
While punitive discipline sees an infraction and says "My child broke rule A and needs to be punished." The discipline we use says, "My child broke rule A and needs help to internalise that boundary."
...however, we are not punitive in our discipline. We set (with input from the kiddos) our family rules and post them. Each week at our family meeting we give ourselves points for how well we've followed those rules and have a goal of getting a certain amount ofpoints. If we reach that goal we'll do something together as a family.
If a kid in my house hits , bites, pinches, etc. another...they are immediately removed from the situation- reminded or asked the appropriate rule---given the option of sitting with me or by themselves to get to a place where we can talk about what happened and a place where they are ready to apologize....they can't move on with their day until the apologize sincerely to the person who they hurt.
I also don't care if my kids want to eat or not- but the meal is not going to go on endlessly and the kitchen is not open all day. I've got five kids and if I let everyone just come back to their dinner when they felt like it- I'd be cleaning endlessly. I get their input on planning the week's meals, I get their help preparing the meals- dinner is the only meal which they are not allowed to just eat whatever it is that they feel like eating (each meal in our house it is required to have a protein, a whole grain , and a fruit or veggie--even the ones they fix for themselves). My job is to prepare the food- their job is to eat it. I won't force them to eat, but neither am I going to bend over backwards to get them to eat. If they don't want to eat the dinner that has been prepared- that's their choice- but they won't be eating later.
I think it all gets to the heart of the matter- to write that I don't view my children as my advesaries. My kids are really, really good kids....there are things about each of them that drives me batty that I grow frustrated with--however-I see the results of our parenting when they are in other settings- classses and playing and such.
Just because we don't punish doesn't mean we don't have boundaries...we have very clear boundaries. They are enforced consistently. The kids are also taught how to live within those boundaries--it's not just expected that they have intuitive knowledge of the world...they need to be taught.
While punitive discipline sees an infraction and says "My child broke rule A and needs to be punished." The discipline we use says, "My child broke rule A and needs help to internalise that boundary."
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), but I am not going to make myself something else. The point of food is to be nutritive- not to be pleasing to the palette--only being able to eat what is pleasing to the palette is an aspect of gluttony. It's great when nutrition and taste coinicide--but I think it faulty to teach that we can only eat what pleases us--that's how people end up obese- they make poor food choices based soley on how pleasing food is to them.
I am not making 7 things for dinner.
