Rating system - really?

[Inkachu]

No rating scale here, lol.

 

[IamHeather]

The thing is, I wouldn't even know how to assign a number rating to a guy. For example, I am watching a tv show episode on my computer that has an actor I think is really attractive but I wouldn't know what number to give him. Kind of like what coach was saying, I either find a guy attractive or I don't. Maybe I need to get more organized in what I find attractive lol.

 

[latteda]

The thing is, I wouldn't even know how to assign a number rating to a guy. For example, I am watching a tv show episode on my computer that has an actor I think is really attractive but I wouldn't know what number to give him. Kind of like what coach was saying, I either find a guy attractive or I don't. Maybe I need to get more organized in what I find attractive lol.

Exactly.

A guy and I once had a discussion on my "rating system." He kept mentioning different movie stars and asking me which one was more hot. I kept saying that neither one is hotter than the other...they're just hotter in different ways (geeky hot, kind hot, adventurous hot, etc.). He didn't seem to get this concept.

 

[acropolis]

I've noticed a few of the guys (you know who you are ) use a 1-10 rating system when talking about girls. I haven't noticed girls doing this though.

Is it a guy thing? Do you automatically/subconsciouslly rate every girl? If you rate people, do you rate the same sex, too - or just the opposite sex?

I don't think I've ever thought in terms of a rating system...and I don't think I would want to know where I fall on the scale.

I subconsciously 'rate' every person I see, but not numerically. Things like attraction relative to other women I know, and how socially compatible I think I am with people of both genders.

It might be wrong, but it happens before I am aware of it. Every woman I see gets shuffled into a Yes/No/Maybe section within a few seconds. But those judgments aren't final, it's just my primal lizard-brain doing it's sexual-selection thing. Getting to know a person more changes my attraction a great deal.

 

[deliciousBass]

I do the same thing acropolis. I scan them like the Terminator does haha. First thing I check is if she has a wedding band or engagement ring on her finger.

 

[JonMiller]

I've noticed a few of the guys (you know who you are ) use a 1-10 rating system when talking about girls. I haven't noticed girls doing this though.

Is it a guy thing? Do you automatically/subconsciouslly rate every girl? If you rate people, do you rate the same sex, too - or just the opposite sex?

I don't think I've ever thought in terms of a rating system...and I don't think I would want to know where I fall on the scale.

I have no rating system. I have:

Physically Attractive (or not)
Shared Values (or not)
Attractive (or not) [is based on something else not physical that I don't completely understand]
Interesting (or not)

Of course, it all doesn't matter except that I generally am not interesting/attractive to girls who share values with me, and that I have a serious difficulties (talking with/etc) with girls that I find Attractive.

JM

 

[JonMiller]

I actually think that my best shot for a successful relationship is someone I don't find Attractive (the non physical one) but that I do Share Values with. This is purely because of my poor response to the decade+ of rejection...

JM

 

[ido]

I think it's a girl thing too.. except you guys have a less involved system. You guys have a Binary type system.. it's either a 0 or a 1. Meaning.. it's either open, or closed. I think he's cute. Or I will look past him.



Whereas guys may have a rating system... 1-10, and have a little cutoff zone.. "Anything under a 4, I'll look past.. " Or something like that.

Now, myself; I dont really rate a girl like that. I rate them in aspects of how well I would connect with them. Visual wise.. I rate them on how much they fit my style. Not a number, but just my own, "yeah, she is my style." "She has some of the things I look for." "No, she is not my style of person at all.."

LOL @ binary system. I am more like you described, I think.

on a scale of 1-10 this thread gets a 6 ... maybe 7

K
O
f

Thank you, FNG, for posting this. The rating thing bothers me as well. The idea that a numeric rating is being applied to me by men, or anyone really, is absolutely appalling to me.

For me, I know if I think someone is attractive or not but I don't find myself mentally rating them. I mean, really, when I first see a guy all I can see is his looks, so how can I rate that? Maybe that sounds odd to guys but I fall for a guy based on lots of things, not just his hawtness.

I'm with ya, girl.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

No, I don't "rate" them, because that isn't how life and humans should be valued. That is only the surface, shallow examinations are not enough for me.

 

[JonMiller]

I do admit that I naturally like to do heiarchies and things. So I might say, this person is more attractive than that person, or whatever. But it isn't something I think about unless I am trying to compare people for some reason.

Physical attractiveness is only one part of 'interested in dating' so I don't compare much for that reason.

JM

 

[deliciousBass]

I don't see why ppl take it personal. It's just a quick assessment of physical features that YOU find attractive. The problem is that some people take it and think that ALL men or women think that about them but that's not the case. It's what one person things about one other person. Regardless, I would hope that who ever you end up with considers you to be a 10.

 

[IamHeather]

So this leads me to wonder something. How important is looks as far as overall attractiveness goes? Please be brutally honest.

If this is too off topic let me know. It seemed like a natural follow up, though.

 

[CoachR64]

It is pretty important to me. It determines whether or not I want to consider pursuing something. Now, keep in mind, that is just the initial process. There are many other things about the person that can enhance this, and there are many things that an toss it right on the ol' crapper.

Physical attraction is what draws me in, wanting to know more about her. It's the other things beyond physical looks that keep me coming back.... or start me running away.

Coach

 

[Apollo Celestio]

It's important. But chances are with me, I wouldn't date anyone I didn't really know, so looks won't win the date. I shouldn't have preferences like these, but I do. Perhaps it is Ni?

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Someone needs to respond or I'm gonna cry!

That comment's about a 6 - you gotta make me believe you'll actually cry.

I don't consciously rate women - I may jokingly talk about it if anothe rguy brings it up, but can't recall any time ever seriously giving a girl a number. Basic dateability, maybe. Used to say whether a girl was chip worthy (all that and a bag of chips.)

 

[ido]

Good thoughts so far from everyone.

dB - I couldn't agree more about whomever I end up with being a 10 in my eyes.

As for overall attractiveness and the impact that physical appearance has for me - I would say that it's only maybe 25% of the whole. I've learned from experience that someone I might find extremely physically attractive can become extremely unattractive to me overall by their attitude/actions. I have experienced this to the point where I don't even think they are physically attractive anymore, b/c when I look at the person all I see is all the ugliness of who they are on the inside.

I think that's why women push so hard on the concept of inner beauty. We understand that no matter how physically attractive we are or aren't - we make ourselves even more beautiful from letting the beauty shine from the inside out.

 

[acropolis]

So this leads me to wonder something. How important is looks as far as overall attractiveness goes? Please be brutally honest.

If this is too off topic let me know. It seemed like a natural follow up, though.

Just speaking for myself:

Initially it's very important, since it's usually the first thing you know about someone. It's a big part of the always-important first impression, which usually determines whether or not I approach her as a possible friend or possible boyfriend. But it's not just the unchangeable physical features that I notice; I'm also looking for someone who puts effort into looking good. If it's clear she makes it a priority to look good, and knows how to do it, that goes a long way in making her more physically attractive to me.

Personally, there are very few physical traits that kill the deal without exception. But if she doesn't take care of herself or doesn't dress to fit her body type, I won't pay much attention. And, regrettably, not being naturally pretty enough can also make me lose interest, as much as I'd like for it not to be true, but alas, I cannot control make sexual attraction.

 

[kingoffools13]

So this leads me to wonder something. How important is looks as far as overall attractiveness goes? Please be brutally honest.

oh its the only thing that matters, my motto is "if they're ain't hot, date them i will not!"

lol nah i think it holds a substantial amount of importance for most people (and a majority of them will never admit it), you want to be physically attracted to the person you fall in love with, and since the physical is the thing you see first that is definitely a bottle neck on peoples personal preferences.

K
O
f

 

[ido]

That comment's about a 6 - you gotta make me believe you'll actually cry.

I don't consciously rate women - I may jokingly talk about it if anothe rguy brings it up, but can't recall any time ever seriously giving a girl a number. Basic dateability, maybe. Used to say whether a girl was chip worthy (all that and a bag of chips.)

Chip worthy?? So there is code that goes along with this rating system???? We're doomed.

 

[JonMiller]

So this leads me to wonder something. How important is looks as far as overall attractiveness goes? Please be brutally honest.

If this is too off topic let me know. It seemed like a natural follow up, though.

Probably not all that much. But still something has to be there.

JM