Rant!

[BrodyAl1]

I an a self-diagnoses aspie, read about it last year, and reading many (but not all) of the symptoms reads like my autobiography. Also, many of the threads here and on other forums I can totally relate to - most of us with it are pretty much in the same boat.

I have told family and a couple of friends about my discovery, and some of them don't understand why I think I have it. they say "oh, everyone feels uncomforatable in different situations, many people have very few friineds, etc." but you know what? They are confident, married with kids, have friends to go places and do things with, etc. They just don't get what it's like to have never been able to fit into the groove, to be totally alone in a crowd, to want to be able to talk to people and connect with them and are totally clueless how to go about that. Even my mom (she's 80, so I cut her slack in this) doesn't get it. Okay, she is unsure of her self in certain things, doesn't speak up when she should at times, but that has been since she got older. She had friends when sh was younger, got married, (along with my dad) raised me and my sister, etc. She doesn't get it. Most of my NT family and friends don't get it.

They should try never being able to ask out a girl, try not having a close friend to be able to call and say "hey, do you want to go to a movie tonight," try not being able to speak up when you know you should about something, try being overwhelmed when trying to talk in a group . Why can't they all understand?

 

[dayhiker]

Nice rant brody,
They can't understand because they are NT. Its that simple. Most people only understand the people that are like them. A few study other people and start to understand those that are different than they are, but my observation is that few take the time to understand those that are different than they are.

 

[LovedSparrow]

I am self-diagnosed too, felt like I was reading an autobiography also! I have heard a lot of NT people say too, "Well, I have that trait too, so?" It kind of invalidates me. I think sometimes as adults, we learn to mask or deal with and grow from our past symptoms. We will never fully 'heal' from it, but we learn coping skills.

A few people have said that to me, I just say, I had more prominent symptoms when I was born to high school. I've just learned to cope since then (or have my coping skills, rocking, etc. in private). But don't feel like you have to explain yourself, too. You know it to be true.

You're not alone. I think people are truly trying to understand. I wish they could take our word for it. I think it's normal to have these feelings.

I hope this helps. I've encountered the same.

 

[TalusJumper]

In my opinion, being self diagnosed (or not) really doesn't mean much verses obtaining an official dx. I can relate to Brody's autobiography perfectly (mine spans over 10 years of exploring AS) and when I finally went in to get diagnosed, I ended up PDD-NOS (which I really don't agree with). You will find that if you do the research, there is no perfect way that psychiatrists diagnose patients. Even the ADOS test (considered the "gold standard" of ASD testing) can be very subjective (not supposed to be but it is) and is highly dependent upon the administrator.

With all that being said, I think that even if you had an official diagnosis, it wouldn't change much. Most people just don't understand (and aren't willing to understand) what we go through (and have gone through) in our lives. I think many people believe that life is hard and we all go through things and that Asperger's is just a way to get attention. Unfortunately, it is a form of ignorance from those who feel this way. Not sure why we are considered the ones without empathy when most NTs seem to lack it?!

Maybe family members are just not willing to admit their gene pool isn't perfect!