Randomosityyy!!

[Messy]

Farmers Fred and Luke were fishing on the side of the road. They made a sign saying "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!," and showed it to each passing car.

One driver that passed didn't appreciate the sign and shouted, "Leave us alone you religious nuts!"

All of a sudden they heard a big splash.

Fred grinned at Luke. "Do you think we should just put up a sign that says: 'Bridge Out' instead?"

 

[Messy]

Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a days training. One says to the other "I can't understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race."

There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said "I know what your problem is. I have seen you race and it looks to me as if you race off at the start really fast and use up all your energy and then you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves and when all the other horses are tuckered, put in a spurt and you're sure to win. What do you think of that?".

The horses looked at one another and said "WOW, a talking dog!"

 

[Messy]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Highway 401. Please be careful!"

"Darnl," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

 

[Rajni]

-

 

[Messy]

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."


For more of this:
http://www.christianforums.com/threads/just-kiddin.7609445/page-46

 

[MiniEmu]

 

[Saucy]

 

[SnowyMacie]

Meanwhile, in Japan...

 

[Messy]

Reminds me of this:

 

[Hawthorne]

Courtesy of Edgy Egyptian Memes.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

 

[quietpraiyze]

What Do Most People Do On A Date?


On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

- Martin, age 10

 

[MrMoe]

 

[Saucy]

 

[Saucy]

 

[Saucy]

 

[Messy]

 

[SnowyMacie]

This has been popping up on my Facebook. It looks utterly awesome, but as someone who has had a serious knee injury (class 2 MCL sprain), the only thing I can think is "That's a blown knee waiting to happen."

 

[MiniEmu]

 

[faithyfelicis]

I might have the Sleepy Ha Ha's right now, but I think this will still be really funny in the morning.