Raising kids

[PDX Conservative]

I'm a divorced father of an 11 year old daughter and 8 year old son. They get along with extraordinarily well. My ex-wife moved to a different part of the city that makes splitting time extremely difficult. Given my work hours and the awful commute, it's difficult on the kids. I'm trying to get more time, equal time with my kids because I believe a father is extremely important in raising children. Given that information, I am looking at getting an apartment very close to their mothers new home. I can only afford a two-bedroom. I currently have a 3-bedroom house which gives the kids their own rooms. My question is what is the conservative and Christian view on a boy and girl siblings sharing a room. I was thinking of getting a two-bedroom and having their room furnished with a bunk bed. Right now they are okay with the idea, but I know that as they get older their independence will set in. I'm sure they want their own rooms at some point. What would your advice be to a father-of-two in regards to the kids sharing a room?

 

[childeye 2]

I'm a divorced father of an 11 year old daughter and 8 year old son. They get along with extraordinarily well. My ex-wife moved to a different part of the city that makes splitting time extremely difficult. Given my work hours and the awful commute, it's difficult on the kids. I'm trying to get more time, equal time with my kids because I believe a father is extremely important in raising children. Given that information, I am looking at getting an apartment very close to their mothers new home. I can only afford a two-bedroom. I currently have a 3-bedroom house which gives the kids their own rooms. My question is what is the conservative and Christian view on a boy and girl siblings sharing a room. I was thinking of getting a two-bedroom and having their room furnished with a bunk bed. Right now they are okay with the idea, but I know that as they get older their independence will set in. I'm sure they want their own rooms at some point. What would your advice be to a father-of-two in regards to the kids sharing a room?

My advice is don't sell the house. You should rent it.

 

[PDX Conservative]

My advice is don't sell the house. You should rent it.

I appreciate the advice on the home, but I'm specifically asking about views on kids sharing rooms.

 

[bèlla]

What would your advice be to a father-of-two in regards to the kids sharing a room?

See if you can find a two bedroom unit with a dining room. Sometimes they're available in brownstones. You can turn that into a bedroom for one of the children. Condo rentals can be cheaper than apartments and they're usually bigger. Or consider a townhouse instead. If you're not certain about supply, it may help to work with a service who'll do the legwork for you. They usually know about available units that aren't listed.

Sometimes new development sales are slow and they'll rent some units but don't make it known. And when I've searched for real estate in other areas I had great luck by searching by the city instead. For example, San Francisco apartment rentals. I perused the usual sites but noticed the ones devoted to that city often had listings the other ones didn't. Don't forget about City Data. It's a great site and they can give you alternatives too. Good luck!

 

[childeye 2]

I appreciate the advice on the home, but I'm specifically asking about views on kids sharing rooms.

While they're young there should be no problem sharing a room. In two years it will probably become a bigger deal for your daughter. Down the road you can always share your room with your son. But don't sell the house.

 

[mama2one]

your kids need their own space especially since your daughter's a preteen

 

[step_by_step]

There's nothing wrong with them sharing a bedroom in a Christian sense. But as they age, they're definitely going to want their own space. Especially since your daughter is nearing puberty. I would suggest trying to find a way to give them their own rooms if possible. When we were between houses, my brother and I had to share a room but my mom put up a partition so we each had a separate, private part of the room to ourselves.

 

[maintenance man]

What would your advice be to a father-of-two in regards to the kids sharing a room?

They need their own room if possible. You don't want them to feel like visiting you is a hardship.

Maybe make your room the boys room when they are over and you sleep on the couch?

Maybe figure out a way to get a third bedroom?

 

[Knee V]

My own kids are 11, 7, and 5, girl/boy/girl respectively.

It is my own opinion that kids at that age of the opposite sex should not be sharing a room if it is possible for them not to.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I don't see a problem with siblings sharing rooms when they need to when they're young, but 11 and 8 are ages where this may start getting too confusing for them.

 

[Simon/Rock]

I'm a divorced father of an 11 year old daughter and 8 year old son. They get along with extraordinarily well. My ex-wife moved to a different part of the city that makes splitting time extremely difficult. Given my work hours and the awful commute, it's difficult on the kids. I'm trying to get more time, equal time with my kids because I believe a father is extremely important in raising children. Given that information, I am looking at getting an apartment very close to their mothers new home. I can only afford a two-bedroom. I currently have a 3-bedroom house which gives the kids their own rooms. My question is what is the conservative and Christian view on a boy and girl siblings sharing a room. I was thinking of getting a two-bedroom and having their room furnished with a bunk bed. Right now they are okay with the idea, but I know that as they get older their independence will set in. I'm sure they want their own rooms at some point. What would your advice be to a father-of-two in regards to the kids sharing a room?

The boy should sleep in your bed any time they come over, and she should get her own room. The only reason I say the girl gets her own room, is because girls need more privacy, especially as they get older. You can either sleep on the couch, when they spend the night, and your son in your bed. Or you can sleep on your bedroom floor on a air matress, or a sleeping bag, with a cover over you.

by a certain age, brothers and sisters should never be sharing bunkbeds.
If the tables were reversed, and their mother only had a 2 bedroom apartment, I would expect the mother to let the boy have his own room, and the girl to share the mothers room.

It's because a Son and a father can share a room, and a mother and a daughter can share a room, but you can't mix anything in between, including thee children.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

Keep in mind that the Bible was written at a time when entire homes were just one room. The Bible doesn't speak of different rooms for siblings or even of privacy, but it does speak of modesty for women and of sexual immorality of both. I would suggest that you make it clear that they are to change in separate rooms (your daughter in the bathroom, your son in the bedroom for example) and have a talk about boy parts and girl parts and the importance of keeping private parts private if you haven't had that talk yet. Or have it again, because they can never have it enough.
Also, keep in mind that your status may change when they get older. You may be able to afford a bigger apartment or possibly buy a three bedroom house again.