Quote and whatever Game (Heaps bonus) (2)

[AmazonPanther]

“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.” -- Laurence J. Peter

 

[AmazonPanther]

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good ... mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."

Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."

 

[AmazonPanther]

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So He called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a while. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.
Well, He thought for a moment and thought maybe He'd better send down a second angel to get another point of view. So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth is in decline. 95% is bad and 5% is good." God said this was not good.
So He decided to send e-mail to the 5% that were good. He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that e-mail said?
Oh, you didn't get that email either, eh? Bummer.

 

[AmazonPanther]

A physics professor at the University of Connecticut claims to have designed a working time machine. ***MARLAR: He says all he needs to finish is a case of plutonium and a Delorian.

 

[AmazonPanther]

A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. He says, "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slow?"

She replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

The cop is surprised. "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

The nun shakes her head. "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point the cop looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.

"Excuse me, Sister," he asks, "what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible."

She replies, "Oh, we just got off of highway 119."

 

[AmazonPanther]

"It's not that I don't want to listen to people. I very much want to listen to people; I just can't hear them over my talking." --Paula Poundstone

 

[AmazonPanther]

CONAN: Scientists say they’ve located the gene that causes obesity. Yeah. His name is Gene Millman and he’s the inventor of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

 

[AmazonPanther]

“I don't think I'd make a good parent, because I'm the kind of person who lets a kid run with scissors because it develops good hand-eye coordination.” --Michele Stone

 

[AmazonPanther]

LENO: (About the storms in New York) Meteorologists believe the storm actually started in Washington. What happened was the hot air from Congress mixed with the cold chill from the White House... a low pressure area.

 

[AmazonPanther]

“I was at the post office yesterday and had to make a couple of copies for my tax returns. Where else but the post office would they bolt a copy machine to the floor that doesn't work? “ -Marlar

 

[AmazonPanther]

“Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans.” Unknown

 

[ChristInAction]

"The Spirit of God makes the impossible possible; He creates faith where there is nothing else to believe in; He creates love where there is nothing lovable; He creates hope when there is nothing to hope for." Jurgen Moltman

 

[ChristInAction]

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, the romance and You find that you still care for that person.- unknown

 

[ChristInAction]

A careless word may kindle strife,
A cruel word may wreck a life
A timely word may level stress,
A loving word may heal & bless.

 

[ChristInAction]

When you feel down because you didn't get what you wanted, just sit tight and be happy because God is think of something better for you.

 

[encouraging loves animals]

Wow-I got an invitation to be in the audience for a new show on channel 7!

Can't make it though!

 

[If Not For Grace]

Creativity, as has been said, consists largely of rearranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know. Hence, to think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted. --George Kneller

 

[rnrmachine]

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

 

[rnrmachine]

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

 

[ItsMeColeen]

Good Morning!
The Billboard for 4/20/07

"Don't Condone what God Condemns"

Have a GREAT DAY!
Blessings to all!