Quiverfull?

[Sailor_A]

Being a child of what many would call a "quiverfull" family, I think I can add something of value with my personal experience.

Just like in most any family situation, large families have their upsides and their downsides. Some of the upsides from my personal experience include more responsible individuals, maturity beyond an individual's years, hard-working individuals, and financially prudent individuals. In a large family, EVERYONE is expected to help out. A couple of posters in this thread seem altogether concerned about the female experience and concerned about the rights of the daughters, but while doing so you are completely ignoring the sons. Sons in a large family aren't just sitting around while daughters do all the work--to believe so is ignorant. Contrary to those with that mindset, I think children regardless of sex helping out around the house with the younger children, household chores, building projects, heavy labor, farm work, yard work, etc is a very good thing that instills a strong work ethic and a well-rounded, hard-working individual. Children in larger families tend to be more involved in day to day household chores and activities much more so than they would be in smaller families. Large families tend to be thriftier and better with finances than smaller families which is passed down to the children in the form of financial responsibility a step above their peer group. This thriftiness and lower amount of funds per individual also means larger families tend to do most of their own work including but not limited to construction, remodeling, building projects, whole house renovations, housework, cooking, cleaning, lawn maintenance, farm work, etc which contributes to the better work ethic instilled in children from larger families (especially the older children). I knew/know many one or two child households where the kids haven't lifted a finger as far as household chores in their whole lives, and this is largely a factor of the parents doing all the work for the child. In large families, it is not possible for the parents to do all the work for the children so the children are expected to help out. This is a good thing and children from large families (especially the older children) tend to be a step above their peers as far as maturity and personal responsibility is concerned later in life.

The downsides are related to the upsides. Instead of watching tv and hanging out with friends all the time, I was expected to work. You bet I would have rather watched tv and played all day but that wasn't going to happen. My first and foremost responsibilities were to my family and then only afterwards could I go out and have fun. So at times it can feel like I missed out on the irresponsibilities of childhood. But then again, that's probably overrated.

Interesting. It is rare (obviously) to hear from a person in a/from a quiver full family Would you say you plan to continue this model with your wife?

My own mother had 13 siblings and was expected to be a mini mother. Her brothers were afforded more liberties seemed to have less chores. However I wouldn't assume the sons do nothing. It is only that what the daughters do seems to limit them in later life. Still my concerns from my own mother's situation may be unfounded now.

In your list I did not see studying, reading, playing an instrument, dancing/sport. I don't remember much of the "irresponsibilities" of childhood. I know my parents wanted us to be able to do more than they could. Unless a parent is skilled in those areas, is it viable to give all children those opportunities? My mum said even in college she had to go back to care for her siblings and the house; she felt it inhibited her. Not to discount chores but there are people I know who have never "lifted a finger" chore wise in their whole lives yet are very successful because their parents gave them the skills to succeed in this world. It is interesting.

 

[JRSut1000]

As nice as sports, dancing, etc are - a lot of times they take away from family life. Too many times I see that there's school, then afterschool programs, then homework, then basically bedtime. There's not much time for family time whether it's eating dinner, praying/reading/worshiping as a family, or sharing in family responsibilities.

 

[JaneFW]

It's hard to balance out family responsibility while at the same time letting kids be kids and experience a true 'childhood'.

I really want to instill good family values in my children including good work ethic and helping others.

It's not that hard actually. So long as you have it in your head that you are a family, that you are all working toward the same end, you will do just fine. It is more difficult, I guess, when you haven't had to do chores and your parents did things for you. In my family of birth, all three of us had chores, and my brother was expected to sweep, mop and wash up as well as my sister and myself, and my sister and I were expected to help my dad mix concrete and weed the vegetable patch just the same as my brother. My mother would have scoffed if you had told her she had some feminist ideas, but what she did believe was that all three of us should be capable of taking care of ourselves, and that we should do our part to make sure our home was clean and well cared for. She did my brother a huge favor in having that attitude, which was uncommon with boys at that time, because he did not marry until his early 40's, and so it was good that he knew how to look after himself.

My mother instilled values in me, including that "if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well" - something I repeat to my kids. She would say not to be half-hearted, and to have pride in my work, and even though I was just sweeping the floor or washing dishes, I heard her, and it's something that is engrained in me to this day.

In some families, kids are paid for chores around the home. I don't agree with that. Our kids get an allowance, but it's not linked to chores. They get an allowance because we love them, and we want them to have some money to spend, and to learn how to handle that money. They do chores because they live in our home, and they are a part of our family, and they have a responsibility and/or duty to help.

And those chores do not have to be onerous. They don't have to clean the house every day. Generally, they get their big chores done on Saturday morning, and then the rest of the week it is just picking up, getting drinks at dinner time, and setting and clearing the table. People notice that our kids do those things automatically, and they appreciate it, and our kids see that they are appreciated and so they take pride in doing a good job. Those things take up no more than half an hour a day, and they absolutely and utterly have an entirely normal childhood with lots of play time and fun stuff to do.

 

[Root of Jesse]

DISCLAIMER: It is not my intention to bash anyone, whether pro- or anti-quiverfull, in this post. I'm merely asking for other views on a controversial issue.

I am from a family of six; some people would consider us a large family. I know my mom would have had more children if she hadn't had complications with my youngest sister's pregnancy. She's always admired these "quiverfull" families with huge families (the Duggars, Jon & Kate before they split, etc).

Personally, I'm kind of on the fence about quiverfull. While I do not agree with abortion, I also don't think certain types of contraceptives are sinful either. I don't think there is anything wrong with family planning, not because it's merely inconvenient to have a child now but because I cannot think of a way to provide for a child right now.

But is that selfish of me? Is it less about me trying to plan and prepare to be a good mom and more about trying to control God so that he's no longer the one who opens and closes my womb? Yeah, in the time the Bible was written it was considered normal to have a huge family, but was that more a question of holiness or one of cultural norms?

Sorry for rambling. Whether you're in a quiverful family or not I'd appreciate your thoughts on this issue.

I guess I believe that, when a couple has enough children (or they think they do, anyway), their best options to live in conformity with God would be to only have sex when she's not fertile, or abstain. With modern Natural Family Planning being as effective as any ABC, you're keeping open to life. I don't care whether it's two or 14, some folks can handle the whole quiver, and some can't.

 

[LinkH]

I respect Christian couples that want to have a lot of kids, disciple them, and let them have an impact on the world. That seems to be the quiverfull philosophy. I don't see in scripture where we are required to keep having more and more kids, though children are a blessing. God did say to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Like JRSutt, I think three fulfills that command. That's how I take it personally. We have four kids, so we fulfilled much already. One was planned, the others were 'surprises', but welcome surprises.

I also don't see a problem with older kids helping out around the house, helping raise younger kids, etc. With my family of 6, I somethings grasp for ideas on how to keep the kids occupied. They aren't that big yet. You'd better believe I'll have them do some chores. If we end up overseas with a maid, I'll have to work it out where they can do chores. That requirements is pretty light at their ages. The way our countertops are designed keeps kids from doing certain chores. For sanitation purposes, I prefer that, but cooking and washing on the floor or near it in Asia does have some advantages in getting the kids involved.

I think the quiverfull philosophy works well for farmers where the boys have a lot of farm work to do instead of lounging around or getting into trouble. In the old days, when fathers taught sons their trade, it made a lot of sense. Of course, there is plenty of work for girls on a farm, too. The quiverfull dad would need to know how to do mechanical stuff like fix cars and build things. I wonder what a metrosexual dad would be like as a quiverfull father.

 

[JaneFW]

It's interesting because my SIL (husband's sister) has raised her kids entirely differently. She has two kids, boy and girl. They have never had to lift a finger around the house, but they have been put in almost every extra curricular program that would take them - whether they wanted to or not! They had to try out for choir, sports, different clubs when they were in high school, again, whether they wanted to or not. The male was told that he was going to be the next Tiger Woods (um, this was before people knew about his non-golfing proclivities) and he was taken to that golf course day in and day out, until he finally turned around and said NO MORE. We have never forced our kids into sports, but they have chosen one sport each semester. Right now, both of the younger boys play soccer. The middle boy also is a runner. But that's it for their after school activities. We don't make them try out for everything, and we don't make them do sports that they don't want to do.

My FIL - who is not my favorite person - made a comment a few months ago when he was at our house. Our middle kid gets up when he is done and clears everyone's plates. He's very quiet, very careful and polite about it, and when he came to take my FIL's plate, my FIL was very taken aback, and then later he said to my h that that was not something that his cousin would ever do. I know this is true because I have been at my SIL's house many times, and she is the one that does everything, with my MIL (and me) helping. Her kids just sit around.

I just don't agree with that. I think she has raised a couple of entitled brats, and even more so when we have given them gifts, that they never thank us, including this spring break, when we gave our nephew a considerable amount of money towards a missions trip he was taking. Not a single word of thanks!

Yes, my kids are the best kids in the world. I'm only kidding a little bit.

 

[JRSut1000]

Yep, I dont want my kids following the 'entitlement' attitude that seems so typical of today. And I believe most of that is up to my husband and I to teach them to be giving and loving and responsible human beings. My little one (19months) is already learning how to wipe and sweep the floor and help mama put laundry away. She's more of a hindrance than a help, but she thinks she's helping and in a sense she is definitely learning to help and get a sense of healthy pride about it.

 

[JaneFW]

Yep, I dont want my kids following the 'entitlement' attitude that seems so typical of today. And I believe most of that is up to my husband and I to teach them to be giving and loving and responsible human beings. My little one (19months) is already learning how to wipe and sweep the floor and help mama put laundry away. She's more of a hindrance than a help, but she thinks she's helping and in a sense she is definitely learning to help and get a sense of healthy pride about it.

It's good if you don't correct her or do it for her, because that will absolutely instill that sense of pride. I used to not let my kids do a lot of things, because they didn't do it "right" and I am such a pain in the rear perfectionist, I was unable to let it go for a while. On the DISC personality range, I am the beaver, lol, and it's soooooo true. (My husband is the otter.) So I had to learn to just let them do it wrong - that it didn't matter if it wasn't perfect - that the main thing was that they had the right heart about it, and they were trying to help.

I hope that you also encourage your boy to help you!! He will need to know how to handle laundry too. My boys, btw, ALL do their own laundry.

 

[Sailor_A]

It's interesting because my SIL (husband's sister) has raised her kids entirely differently. She has two kids, boy and girl. They have never had to lift a finger around the house, but they have been put in almost every extra curricular program that would take them - whether they wanted to or not! They had to try out for choir, sports, different clubs when they were in high school, again, whether they wanted to or not. The male was told that he was going to be the next Tiger Woods (um, this was before people knew about his non-golfing proclivities) and he was taken to that golf course day in and day out, until he finally turned around and said NO MORE. We have never forced our kids into sports, but they have chosen one sport each semester. Right now, both of the younger boys play soccer. The middle boy also is a runner. But that's it for their after school activities. We don't make them try out for everything, and we don't make them do sports that they don't want to do.

My FIL - who is not my favorite person - made a comment a few months ago when he was at our house. Our middle kid gets up when he is done and clears everyone's plates. He's very quiet, very careful and polite about it, and when he came to take my FIL's plate, my FIL was very taken aback, and then later he said to my h that that was not something that his cousin would ever do. I know this is true because I have been at my SIL's house many times, and she is the one that does everything, with my MIL (and me) helping. Her kids just sit around.

I just don't agree with that. I think she has raised a couple of entitled brats, and even more so when we have given them gifts, that they never thank us, including this spring break, when we gave our nephew a considerable amount of money towards a missions trip he was taking. Not a single word of thanks!

Yes, my kids are the best kids in the world. I'm only kidding a little bit.

Well I've had a different experience. Some of my peers were raised in a very wealthy environment. They came to university in rather a naive but still pleasant state. They were at least taught manners. However their parents did not teach them things I consider basic. They were expected to work far harder at school/extra-curricular pursuits and some had even done internships before school. Of course there were the usual challenges; how to do laundry, how to make dinner, how to create a bank account... (and quite often in a different country). To my annoyance they managed to pick up these skills easily from the internet. It is quite irritating to admit someone who has only cooked for a week in their life makes the best food you have ever tasted .

So I've been thinking about it analytically and have decided that as long as children are taught manners and have to do work of some sort they are placed in good stead for the future. Ideally this would be a mix of basic chores and academic pursuits. Some of the wealthy children were entitled brats but honestly many were no; the skills they were taught were transferable on many levels. On the other hand though most of us who did not have the same academic opportunities fared much worse. My first year was catch up on everything the government school system did not teach us. I would have preferred to learn how to do laundry or cook like a pro in a week.

 

[dorig59]

I haven't read all the posts so I hope not being redundant. Anyway the first thing is that it's each couple's decision how many kids to have or even if they want any at all. Nothing wrong with that either.

Having said that, I and my kids dad were kind of into that whole quiverful, let-God-plan-your-family thing, we had six kids who are now grown. I homeschooled most of the way through. Couldn't have managed without the older kid's help. But I look back now and I think WHY?? Why do Christians take one verse out of the bible or one concept and make it like a big deal? I adore my kids, but quite frankly having/raising kids is very difficult and it also puts a lot of stress on the marriage. Suuuure, kids are a "blessing," mm-hmm, that's what we're all thinking in the middle of dirty diapers, all six if them (or whatever your number is) being sick at the same time, sleepless nights, the crying, whining, arguing, etc, and then the teen years roll around! I think we need to use common sense. If you want X number of kids, go for it but it does NOT make you a holier person to make your life incredibly difficult by having lots of kids.

 

[dorig59]

My kids always had chores inside & out, both boys & girls. (I had 3 of each.) we didn't even own a TV most of the time they were growing up. We had devotions every night & prayed with them every simgle night. We were always involved in healthy fellowships & had many bible studies at our home. They saw us praying with other adults & they saw prayers being answered. They were taught good manners & respect and they were loved hugely. Right now their ages are 18-28. Only one of them has any interest in Christianity whatsoever. Two have already been divorced. ALL of them have had premarital sex (and they were going to "court", not date, haha), all of them have at least experimented with weed. Two of them feel their goal in life is to remain stoned as many waking hours as possible. I only have one grandkid whom I never see anymore because his mother (my oldest daughter) has decided to not speak to me anymore after she had a couple of sessions with some shrink because apparently we had "weird" friends and went to weird churches when they were growing up.

So my point I'd to be careful because you can do everything "right," and things may not turn out the way you think.

Oh yea, and their dad & I are now divorced because after we had been married for
22 years he decided I was boring.

 

[Tanys]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I didn't expect the thread to get so big and actually avoided looking at it for awhile because I was afraid my question had started a firestorm. (Newbie moment, I guess. )

I'm glad to hear from people on both sides of the issue, and especially from people who have had personal experience with the Quiverfull movement. I'm starting to understand that I was looking at this issue the wrong way and forgetting that there is more than one way to raise a family that glorifies God.

 

[MessianicMommy]

THE only thing Im thinkign is "they seem happy"..IOW ..they dont feel "put out" its a "lifestyle" they feel is thier "purpose" they feel "directed and purposeful"..WE may feel sorry for them but they don't feel sorry for themselves if that makes sense..they are "happy" that way.So I dont know..

They "seem happy" because of the theology taught in the Quiverfull movement. Not just Pearl and Vision Forum - but Gothard. Don't get me started, but you have to be happy all the time or you're sinning.

I grew up with that all around me. There's so many holes in the theology and patriarchy they teach keeps women on the level of elevated children. Furthering education is not encouraged (past high school) unless the husband's completely incapacitated and THEN she can learn something along the lines of nursing, secretary work and such - women's fields of work.

Women are taught that they're geared only towards parenting and grandparenting and hospitality, never mind the gifts you truly have been given by G-d. Anyone who doesn't follow the Woman-only-submission line of thought is a Jezebel and to be marked for re-education or to be given the left foot of fellowship. Think for yourself or try to get out of one of their spiritually abusive churches? equally as bad.

Very, very punitively minded for all the children. No dancing, drinking, hand holding, anything other than courtship with lots of parental governing of your marital choices and anything against their theology = sin.
Blanket training, sleep training, scheduled feeding, no to baby-wearing, a child delaying obedience = "rebellious" / "sin" and that's a sure ticket to strict discipline, lots and lots of scripture twisting and such.. insisting that children be homeschooled and daughters forgo a college education in favor of early marriage and childbearing... I could go on!!!

There's a lot of wife abuse in the dynamic due to how women are seen and treated in general, and then how "kingly" the husbands have to be over their "castle". Everything from gas-lighting to actual physical violence. Not in every family, but definitely in every group.

Mothers who have fewer children than those who have many are left feeling desperate, and those who are infertile - woe be to them.

Tamara, thank you for beating me to sharing "No longer quivering". She is only ONE of many voices coming out of the movement. There's a book out now called "Quivering daughters" that just came out, and "Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement". It doesn't cover everything, but they both cover a lot of ground.

That being said, for now, our quiver is full of 2 very active, very smart and challenging little boys who are 18 months apart in age. We do not use contraception that can hinder implantation or cause abortion, but we are smart with our choices because my health is not where I could safely carry a child to term at this time. It is not that I do not have faith in G-d, but that my health is that far down in the sewer. Maybe later I'll be well and have more, maybe not. That's between us and G-d.

I do not begrudge larger families for doing what is best for themselves, or allowing G-d to bless them with so many children. What I do get upset with are the massive abuses that are rampant in the QF movement.

 

[Athene]

Boys dont have to be left-out. There's yardwork, cleaning out the garage, and even vacuuming if its heavy, etc. They can learn how to use tools, how to take care of cars (obviously not as a 5 year old, but they can watch and learn), etc.

jobs that are once a month or once a year, as opposed to housework which is every day. That's hardly fair. Also, if you only teach your son those things, what's going to happen when he's living in his own house - are you going to go and clean it for him, do his cooking, wash his clothes?

In this day and age, men need to know how to cook, clean and wash their own clothing. I'd be ashamed to neglect teaching my son these things with the expectation that in the future some other woman would take care of the overgrown man child that I had an unfortunate part in creating.

My oldest son and daughter are a year apart in age and they have exactly the same chores to do. I don't discriminate by sex, just by age - I wouldn't expect a 5 year old to unload a dishwasher full of breakable objects and sharp knives.

 

[JaneFW]

jobs that are once a month or once a year, as opposed to housework which is every day. That's hardly fair. Also, if you only teach your son those things, what's going to happen when he's living in his own house - are you going to go and clean it for him, do his cooking, wash his clothes?

In this day and age, men need to know how to cook, clean and wash their own clothing. I'd be ashamed to neglect teaching my son these things with the expectation that in the future some other woman would take care of the overgrown man child that I had an unfortunate part in creating.

My oldest son and daughter are a year apart in age and they have exactly the same chores to do. I don't discriminate by sex, just by age - I wouldn't expect a 5 year old to unload a dishwasher full of breakable objects and sharp knives.

Exactly!! I am fortunate that my husband went to boot camp, because his mom never had him do household chores, but he learned in boot camp how to iron, clean to "white glove" standards etc. I don't understand mothers who disregard teaching boys these things, in the expectation that they will marry and their wives will do it for him! I mean look at what happened to my h - he divorced his first wife and had to look after his kids on his own (until he met me). What would he have done if he didn't know how to cook, clean, change diapers, etc?

I would be ashamed if my boys went into manhood incapable of doing stuff. My eldest is already there (manhood) and he knows how to clean toilets, vacuum, dust, wash and dry and fold his clothes etc. He can cook the basics. Next year he will be taking off most likely for the State Trooper Academy. That will necessitate living away from home for the first time ever. It is a form of boot camp. I'm glad he's going out there knowing how to take care of himself.

 

[Athene]

It was specifically stated that in the families that *I* had seen, the boys were let off the housework while the girls did it all. That's all that was said. That's not ignorance, it's based upon what I saw with my own eyes.

Exactly, and I was talking about the Duggars - a specific family. I've also read the ex-quiverful blog that was posted in this thread and in that family it was the women who did all the day to day drudgery of housework.

In one episode of however many kids and counting, the boys had been left home - because boys can be left alone, the girls had gone away with their parents for a few days but were sent home a day early to tidy up and prepare the house for the parents and youngest siblings return. The older boys had been there all that time but couldn't possibly be expected to do any housework and keep the house in a reasonable condition.

What kind of lesson are they teaching these boys? It's ok to be lazy, entitled and selfish because we'll marry you off to some woman who will do all the housework for you while you sit around thinking that mowing the lawn once a week is doing approximately half the work.

 

[JaneFW]

My kids always had chores inside & out, both boys & girls. (I had 3 of each.) we didn't even own a TV most of the time they were growing up. We had devotions every night & prayed with them every simgle night. We were always involved in healthy fellowships & had many bible studies at our home. They saw us praying with other adults & they saw prayers being answered. They were taught good manners & respect and they were loved hugely. Right now their ages are 18-28. Only one of them has any interest in Christianity whatsoever. Two have already been divorced. ALL of them have had premarital sex (and they were going to "court", not date, haha), all of them have at least experimented with weed. Two of them feel their goal in life is to remain stoned as many waking hours as possible. I only have one grandkid whom I never see anymore because his mother (my oldest daughter) has decided to not speak to me anymore after she had a couple of sessions with some shrink because apparently we had "weird" friends and went to weird churches when they were growing up.

So my point I'd to be careful because you can do everything "right," and things may not turn out the way you think.

Oh yea, and their dad & I are now divorced because after we had been married for
22 years he decided I was boring.

You're not boring Dori.

Your point about kids turning out in ways other than you want them to is very much true. You can do all of these things, you can take them to church every day of their lives and have them read nothing but the Bible - but they can still pull away and go their own way.

 

[Athene]

Exactly!! I am fortunate that my husband went to boot camp, because his mom never had him do household chores, but he learned in boot camp how to iron, clean to "white glove" standards etc. I don't understand mothers who disregard teaching boys these things, in the expectation that they will marry and their wives will do it for him! I mean look at what happened to my h - he divorced his first wife and had to look after his kids on his own (until he met me). What would he have done if he didn't know how to cook, clean, change diapers, etc?

I would be ashamed if my boys went into manhood incapable of doing stuff. My eldest is already there (manhood) and he knows how to clean toilets, vacuum, dust, wash and dry and fold his clothes etc. He can cook the basics. Next year he will be taking off most likely for the State Trooper Academy. That will necessitate living away from home for the first time ever. It is a form of boot camp. I'm glad he's going out there knowing how to take care of himself.

We should pat ourselves on the back really. Divorce rates are lower amongst couples where housework and childcare are divided equally and fairly. We're not just teaching our sons how to take care of themselves, we're giving them the keys to unlock a long and happy marriage.

 

[Root of Jesse]

I haven't read all the posts so I hope not being redundant. Anyway the first thing is that it's each couple's decision how many kids to have or even if they want any at all. Nothing wrong with that either.

Having said that, I and my kids dad were kind of into that whole quiverful, let-God-plan-your-family thing, we had six kids who are now grown. I homeschooled most of the way through. Couldn't have managed without the older kid's help. But I look back now and I think WHY?? Why do Christians take one verse out of the bible or one concept and make it like a big deal? I adore my kids, but quite frankly having/raising kids is very difficult and it also puts a lot of stress on the marriage. Suuuure, kids are a "blessing," mm-hmm, that's what we're all thinking in the middle of dirty diapers, all six if them (or whatever your number is) being sick at the same time, sleepless nights, the crying, whining, arguing, etc, and then the teen years roll around! I think we need to use common sense. If you want X number of kids, go for it but it does NOT make you a holier person to make your life incredibly difficult by having lots of kids.

I disagree wholeheartedly about your last line. While having a lot of kids does not necessarily make you a holier person, everything else is a tool for making us humble. And if we think we can do it on our own, that's where we're kidding ourselves. We must be humble, and ask God for the grace to help us through all these trials, from arguements to dirty diapers, to constant chaos around the house. Putting the kids to work when they're able to help is a positive, too.

I have proof that simply having kids does not make you holier, or more saintly, having seen my daughter with her husband and 5 unruly children more often than I like. But in the proper framework, where God is our guide, all of the trials and tribulations we have as parents of a brood, or quiverful, and all the trials our quiverful go through living together, makes for more well adjusted people.

We must remember that God helps those who help themselves, so it's not a matter of sitting there and waiting for God's decision. But keeping God in command of everything, including your sex life, is the right way to go, for if God is not in control of your sex life, he's really not in control of anything else about you, is he?

 

[Inkachu]

I think that couples who have a heart for a "quiver full" lifestyle are brave, selfless, and commendable. More power to them! (Please note that I'm referring ONLY to those who believe in having large families, NOT the uber-strict, patriarchal lifestyle that sometimes goes with it; THAT I disagree with).

I do NOT think that God (or the Bible) commands or demands that women surrender themselves and their entire lives to being pregnant, giving birth, and raising children. If a woman feels that call, God bless her, go for it. If another woman doesn't feel that call, God bless her, too, she is NO LESS a godly woman. And notice that I said if the WOMAN feels the call... no one should decide a woman's destiny but herself and God. NO ONE else. That includes other people trying to tell her what God wants instead of letting her hear directly from Him via the Holy Spirit.

I've never had a desire for a bunch of kids or any other sort of domesticated lifestyle. God made me with a very introverted, ambitious nature. And while I have vast amounts of love for my family, a house full of children would drive me (literally) insane, and I would be miserable and probably wind up either hospitalized or surviving on psychotropic drugs. Not even kidding. I love children, I could eat them up, I adore my 11 year old son like nobody's business. But he's the only child I want to have in this lifetime. Grandkids someday? Great! I look forward to it.