Questions...

[LelaGracia]

Warning: This post might be a little strong for some people

So, I've recently come to question whether what happened to me was rape or not...I know it was sexual assault, but I'm just not sure what counts as rape. I guess I mean does forcing someone to do oral stuff count as rape?

Thanks!

 

[FaithfulWife]

Lelagracia~

May I give you a little hug? I'm sorry we have to meet here, but I'm glad you've found somewhere where it's safe to talk about it.

It depends if you want a "definition of rape according to criminal law" or if you want to know my opinion.

According to the legal law, there are varying degrees of sexual assault--which encompasses "rape." There's touching someone against their will; there's forcing someone to do something sexual via a threat (like yelling and screaming or threatening to hurt them or their pet); and there's forcing someone to do something sexual using a weapon. "Doing something sexual" does not need to be intercourse. It can mean the person making you touch them or the person making you let them touch you. It can mean other sexual things too such as oral or masturbating. Finally, there can be a situation where a person is not ABLE to consent due being mentally incapable, passed out, drunk or drugged, etc. All of those things would count in the term "rape" but not all would be the legal definition in a court of law. Make sense?

The way I've always defined it is that sex between two people should be in a committed relationship (ideally). At minimum it should be consensual between two adults who are sober and able to willingly agree to it! I personally have always said, "If you are not an adult, not sober, or not willingly agreeing--then I count it as a sexual violation!" But that doesn't always mean it could be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt in court--ya know? So if you feel like you were forced to do something you weren't willing to do...or if you were pressured...or if you weren't really sober--then I would count that, sweetie.

Hope this helps! I'm here if you need to ask more.


~Faithful

 

[.Sabre.]

Lela: I would suggest you report him. What he did is sexual assault.

 

[Johnnz]

He imposed an unwanted sexual experince onto you. That was wrong. It was not rape in a technical sense, but it was a violation of your personhood and proprietry.

John
NZ

 

[SearchingSister]

Warning: Trigger

I don't know how it works in America, but here in Australia, in a legal sense that would be rape. Penetration of any kind (eg. tongue, fingers, object) all count as rape. If it was performing oral sex on them, it would be indecent assault which is still a serious violation of your rights. I hope you are doing ok and have been talking about this with someone

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

How are you doing Lela?

 

[LikelyUnworthy]

Yes honey!!! I am a child abuse survivor. I survived 4 years of every aspect of rape that is out there. Forcing anyone to do any type of sexual act is considered rape. If you ever need ANYONE to talk to, please feel free to contact me. I know its a hard thing to accept, i am still dealing with that aspect myself. But know that I am hear to listen if you ever just want to talk. Love to you dear. Peace. Shayna

 

[Pure_Heart]

Yes! It is sexual abuse when you are forced to do anything sexually against your will even if it means being forced to watch inappropriate contentographic movies against your will.

Ask God to remove it from you and to purify your mind, heart and spirit. God will, if you ask Him to! He did it for me! He can do it for you!

 

[Carolyn H]

Honey, I am so sorry you went through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you!