I used to be a Christian, meaning that at one time, I trusted the Bible 100%, never questioned it, went to church, got baptized, and accepted Christ. There was even a time where I threw all of my secular music cds in the trash. However, I backslid all the way back and I became a spiritualist. I never stopped having the fear of hell since I was brought up a Christian, but I couldn't understand what excuse God could have for certain things.
I fear hell, but that is not why I seek God, nor is that the reason that I am here. I believe that if you simply seek God because you are afraid of hell, being a Christian isn't that much sincere. The reason I want to find God is because I want to know him. I have a desire to know the being behind all of these creations and I also have a couple of questions for him. Another reason I am seeking God is because IF God is 100% good, I want to befriend him. I want a close relationship with him because he is my creator and he would be nice.
However, there are these things that stand between me and God. People say God is not the author of confusion and that all of the answers are in the Bible, yet when I question God, I am told that I shouldn't. There are a billion things I need to go over, but I don't want to be long winded. I just wish my mind could be changed, so that I ca feel like I know and love God. I don't want to be angry at God, but I get angry at him sometimes for sitting on the sidelines too much.
So, I will list my issues with God of the Bible and just God in general.
1.) The story of Adam and Eve: We all understand that God is God, right? He can do whatever he wants to do, he knows all things, and Christians believes he's perfect. We know God gives us free will, speaking from a Christian perspective. Adam and Eve were perfect before they ate from the tree, right? They did not know the difference between good and evil because they did not no any evil, right? God didn't want them to know evil. So, if God did not teach Adam and Eve about evil, then why did he punish them when they disobeyed his rules? That's like never teaching your child to never touch a hot stove, and when they do it, you spank them. If Adam and Eve had no idea what evil was, then how were they punished for something they didn't know they did until AFTER they did it? That makes no sense to me. To top that off, if God had knowledge and the snake had knowledge, then what the heck was the tree doing in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Who was that tree for and why did God place it there? Most people told me, to give Adam and Eve a choice or because God was testing them. Why would God give them the choice if he never intended for them to know evil in the first place? Why would God place the tree there to test him if he is all knowing or if he did not want them to know any evil? The tree was pointless in my opinion and it seemed like God put it there to test them. It's almost as if God's plan was for mankind to fall and need salvation and for this reason, it is just ludicrous to me to love and trust a God that appears to to be the arsonist and the firefighter. So in the end, if my child didn't know that it was wrong to hit someone and he hit someone, and I spanked him, that would not be legitimate on my part.
Secondly, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden because they were like God and Satan, knowing the difference between good and evil. If knowing the difference between good and evil was prohibited there, then why did God allow the snake to roam the garden? Its almost as if he puts Satan, or whatever demon the snake was , above mankind.
Another problem I have with the story of Adam and Eve, was that
if God wanted Adam and Eve to have "free will" - then why were they made perfect? The theory/motto was that God basically did not want them to know the difference between good and evil, which means he only wanted them to be good, meaning they don't really have a choice because they were made perfect and in God's likeness. So why did God put that tree there then, if he truly did not want humans to know the difference between good and evil?
The problem I have with God here, is that it seems like humans were made for his entertainment. Throughout the Bible, he pokes at humans and lets Satan poke at them too. It almost starts to look like an ego battle between God and Satan. ( Ex:I bet I can do this better than you, or I bet he will obey me. )
Look at Job for instance. God knew how faithful Job was and he knew Job would remain a Godly man. I understand Satan accused Job, but if God is all knowing and already knew that Job surely would stay by him no matter what, then why did God feel the need to prove himself to Satan? I thought Satan was just some evil being who couldn't measure up to God. So why is God trying to prove himself to such an evil character that is so beneath him? Logically speaking, God did not have to put Job through all of that mess. It was unnecessary in my opinion since God is all knowing and Satan is nowhere near close to God. Again, it looks like God's ego is getting in the way.
Another thing, I have to tackle. Jesus Christ. God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have an everlasting life. I find many problems with this and it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve.
Again, God could have created the world any way he chose to do so since he is God. He is all knowing meaning he knows our thoughts, the future, the beginning, everything. The whole enchilada. This can even go all the way back to the fall of Lucifer. God must have created the angels according to Christian beliefs, right? Well, God created angels and since he is all knowing, he knew one would rebel and later get mankind to fall. Even though God knew this was coming while in the process of creating Satan, he continued to make him anyways. Again, where is the logic?
That's like me going to pick up a wasp and I know it's going to sting me and cause me to die and because I know I'm alergic to wasps, I know it will kill me and cause my family a great deal of pain, but even though I know these things, I will go and do it anyways.
That's exactly how I view God. He knew Satan would rebel before he even created Lucifer. It's not about free will, it's about knowledge. Why would God create a being he knew in the future would fall? Why couldn't he just have created an angel that was going to choose not to fall. Notice I didn't say create a creature that could not, but one that would choose not to go that route. Instead he continued to create Satan which eventually led to the fall of man, and because of the fall of man, now Jesus has to come and die on the cross, so brutally to save mankind from eternal damnation.
And if that's not baffling enough, Jesus Christ IS God. He is part of the God head. So basically, God started a drama by creating beings he knew ahead of time would mess up, and then sent a part of himself, his son out into the world to suffer for our sins?
It makes it look like Jesus died on the cross for God's mistake in the way beginning before Lucifer was even Lucifer. This makes me think that Jesus' suffering on the cross for us was God's way of saying sorry in a sense. I don't know that's beside the point.
My point is, it is super hard for me to accept Christianity because of these things I named. God is God and could have chosen to do anything and everything he wanted and out of all things, he chose this.
And when I ask questions about it that nobody can answer, they say don't question God. Why ? Because he created me? You are only going on faith, but you don't have ANY proof that God of the Bible in particular is 100% good. And I feel like excuses are made up for God to the point where Christians make it impossible to disagree with Christianity.
If I had a baby, then killed the baby because it disobeyed me, I would get thrown in jail. However, I have proof that I created this baby through intercourse. So why on the Earth does God get a free pass when he does stuff like that? We cry out to God and sometimes he does nothing. He might not do anything at all. Yet, if I saw someone starving in the street and ignored them and let them die, I would be scolded for it.
I hold God up to the standards I hold normal people up to because it's logical. God's thoughts are not are thoughts, clearly, but my goodness! You would think there would be no holes in this story if it were really God.
I've come to the conclusion that maybe God is not perfect, but I'm still seeking because I want to know. I'm lost. I'm not anywhere. I kind of think I'm a Deist, but that's not set in stone...
And those are only a few reasons why I feel the way I do..
I fear hell, but that is not why I seek God, nor is that the reason that I am here. I believe that if you simply seek God because you are afraid of hell, being a Christian isn't that much sincere. The reason I want to find God is because I want to know him. I have a desire to know the being behind all of these creations and I also have a couple of questions for him. Another reason I am seeking God is because IF God is 100% good, I want to befriend him. I want a close relationship with him because he is my creator and he would be nice.
However, there are these things that stand between me and God. People say God is not the author of confusion and that all of the answers are in the Bible, yet when I question God, I am told that I shouldn't. There are a billion things I need to go over, but I don't want to be long winded. I just wish my mind could be changed, so that I ca feel like I know and love God. I don't want to be angry at God, but I get angry at him sometimes for sitting on the sidelines too much.
So, I will list my issues with God of the Bible and just God in general.
1.) The story of Adam and Eve: We all understand that God is God, right? He can do whatever he wants to do, he knows all things, and Christians believes he's perfect. We know God gives us free will, speaking from a Christian perspective. Adam and Eve were perfect before they ate from the tree, right? They did not know the difference between good and evil because they did not no any evil, right? God didn't want them to know evil. So, if God did not teach Adam and Eve about evil, then why did he punish them when they disobeyed his rules? That's like never teaching your child to never touch a hot stove, and when they do it, you spank them. If Adam and Eve had no idea what evil was, then how were they punished for something they didn't know they did until AFTER they did it? That makes no sense to me. To top that off, if God had knowledge and the snake had knowledge, then what the heck was the tree doing in the Garden of Eden in the first place? Who was that tree for and why did God place it there? Most people told me, to give Adam and Eve a choice or because God was testing them. Why would God give them the choice if he never intended for them to know evil in the first place? Why would God place the tree there to test him if he is all knowing or if he did not want them to know any evil? The tree was pointless in my opinion and it seemed like God put it there to test them. It's almost as if God's plan was for mankind to fall and need salvation and for this reason, it is just ludicrous to me to love and trust a God that appears to to be the arsonist and the firefighter. So in the end, if my child didn't know that it was wrong to hit someone and he hit someone, and I spanked him, that would not be legitimate on my part.
Secondly, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden because they were like God and Satan, knowing the difference between good and evil. If knowing the difference between good and evil was prohibited there, then why did God allow the snake to roam the garden? Its almost as if he puts Satan, or whatever demon the snake was , above mankind.
Another problem I have with the story of Adam and Eve, was that
if God wanted Adam and Eve to have "free will" - then why were they made perfect? The theory/motto was that God basically did not want them to know the difference between good and evil, which means he only wanted them to be good, meaning they don't really have a choice because they were made perfect and in God's likeness. So why did God put that tree there then, if he truly did not want humans to know the difference between good and evil?
The problem I have with God here, is that it seems like humans were made for his entertainment. Throughout the Bible, he pokes at humans and lets Satan poke at them too. It almost starts to look like an ego battle between God and Satan. ( Ex:I bet I can do this better than you, or I bet he will obey me. )
Look at Job for instance. God knew how faithful Job was and he knew Job would remain a Godly man. I understand Satan accused Job, but if God is all knowing and already knew that Job surely would stay by him no matter what, then why did God feel the need to prove himself to Satan? I thought Satan was just some evil being who couldn't measure up to God. So why is God trying to prove himself to such an evil character that is so beneath him? Logically speaking, God did not have to put Job through all of that mess. It was unnecessary in my opinion since God is all knowing and Satan is nowhere near close to God. Again, it looks like God's ego is getting in the way.
Another thing, I have to tackle. Jesus Christ. God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have an everlasting life. I find many problems with this and it goes all the way back to Adam and Eve.
Again, God could have created the world any way he chose to do so since he is God. He is all knowing meaning he knows our thoughts, the future, the beginning, everything. The whole enchilada. This can even go all the way back to the fall of Lucifer. God must have created the angels according to Christian beliefs, right? Well, God created angels and since he is all knowing, he knew one would rebel and later get mankind to fall. Even though God knew this was coming while in the process of creating Satan, he continued to make him anyways. Again, where is the logic?
That's like me going to pick up a wasp and I know it's going to sting me and cause me to die and because I know I'm alergic to wasps, I know it will kill me and cause my family a great deal of pain, but even though I know these things, I will go and do it anyways.
That's exactly how I view God. He knew Satan would rebel before he even created Lucifer. It's not about free will, it's about knowledge. Why would God create a being he knew in the future would fall? Why couldn't he just have created an angel that was going to choose not to fall. Notice I didn't say create a creature that could not, but one that would choose not to go that route. Instead he continued to create Satan which eventually led to the fall of man, and because of the fall of man, now Jesus has to come and die on the cross, so brutally to save mankind from eternal damnation.
And if that's not baffling enough, Jesus Christ IS God. He is part of the God head. So basically, God started a drama by creating beings he knew ahead of time would mess up, and then sent a part of himself, his son out into the world to suffer for our sins?
It makes it look like Jesus died on the cross for God's mistake in the way beginning before Lucifer was even Lucifer. This makes me think that Jesus' suffering on the cross for us was God's way of saying sorry in a sense. I don't know that's beside the point.
My point is, it is super hard for me to accept Christianity because of these things I named. God is God and could have chosen to do anything and everything he wanted and out of all things, he chose this.
And when I ask questions about it that nobody can answer, they say don't question God. Why ? Because he created me? You are only going on faith, but you don't have ANY proof that God of the Bible in particular is 100% good. And I feel like excuses are made up for God to the point where Christians make it impossible to disagree with Christianity.
If I had a baby, then killed the baby because it disobeyed me, I would get thrown in jail. However, I have proof that I created this baby through intercourse. So why on the Earth does God get a free pass when he does stuff like that? We cry out to God and sometimes he does nothing. He might not do anything at all. Yet, if I saw someone starving in the street and ignored them and let them die, I would be scolded for it.
I hold God up to the standards I hold normal people up to because it's logical. God's thoughts are not are thoughts, clearly, but my goodness! You would think there would be no holes in this story if it were really God.
I've come to the conclusion that maybe God is not perfect, but I'm still seeking because I want to know. I'm lost. I'm not anywhere. I kind of think I'm a Deist, but that's not set in stone...
And those are only a few reasons why I feel the way I do..