- Jul 4, 2021
- 824
- 663
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hi everyone,
“ABC”=Questions
Many if you here may know about how much I worry about things like apostasy,serving the lord out of a fear of hell,not being saved,etc.
But i want to ask a question.So for someone like me with autism,it’s hard for me to understand some things.If there are any wise Christians out there,can you,in simpler but no less important terms,explain “what the definition of apostasy is and examples of it?”
Allow me to explain why I worry about this topic,though I’m not so worried as I was about it a couple days ago,what worries me is me somehow committing or having committed apostasy and God turning away from me and me being abandoned by God.There are times things may pass my mind that I think voluntarily or involuntarily,that after a microsecond of thought,I immediately confess and repent,I repent as to show the Lord I’m still repentant and not an apostate.
over the course of the past week,I have extensively experienced intrusive thoughts,and many of them have scared me,some were voluntary and some not,but I never failed to confess them.
From what I know I’ve probably spent too much time on Quora in the past and seen answers to some biblical questions from atheists or “former Christians” and I guess my mind has been scared of becoming that.
that brings me to my next question,”can someone explain the parable of the soils?,im always worried I’m either rocky or thorny soil.”
I admit,most times,if not sometimes,my attention is drawn to things in the world,like tv,video games,or my phone.And I’m afraid that may represent Thorny soil
As for Rocky soil,my excessive fear of falling away,and intrusive thoughts,feelings,desires,etc make me constantly examining and attentive to my spiritual condition.
the reason I’m typing this is because I was playing Minecraft a couple minutes ago and I took my attention of thinking of the Lord and focused on my game.(Which for those of you who don’t know,is a simple game where you build,craft,and survive in a blocky world,there are things like enchanting In it,as well as killing mythical creatures like zombies,skeletons,large spiders,and bad guys)I rarely play violent games like GTA or FPS games as much as I did.
Which brings me to my Third Question,
“What is an idol?”
From my knowledge,an idol can either be a statue representing pagan,voodoo,Buddhist,Hindu,folk religion gods, OR something that is against the Bible that has ones extensive attention and time to.
As of right now,I’m slightly worried,that in that short moment of time I turned away from the Lord.I know I probably should stop being so scared and worried about how strict God may be and abide on his Grace.
I have asked him to please “incline my heart to the things of your will and the things obedient to you”,to “stay with me always and for life”,to “please convict me of sin” (which I haven’t experienced but anything I see as sin I confess),mostly to “Please sustain me in faith”,and “To please never let me cross the line of apostasy”.I even probably 20 times have said this prayer “Lord if I have in any way committed apostasy I repent and confess and ask for forgiveness,please keep me in your family,please don’t abandon me”
PS:I will write an update tomorrow after my doctors appointment to let everyone know of some long awaited Good news.
Update:January 18th-8:46 am:
I had a scary thought,when I was reading the responses to this post I was bombed with in my head and heart with “Faith seems so hard,I’m waiting so long for help,it’s tiring” I can’t remember what else it was but that’s as best as I can articulate it,so for 15 minutes after reading the responses I was fighting,and still am the intrusive thoughts/temptations towards apostasy or abandoning the lord and I’m scared I’ve committed it.I keep pleading to God to please never let me fall away,I’ve even asked him a handful of times to remove my option of free will and keep me with him forever so I never fall away,has anyone ever thought the same thing before?,like have any of you ever thought through faith is hard and temptation to give up,because I’ll never give up on the Lord.
“ABC”=Questions
Many if you here may know about how much I worry about things like apostasy,serving the lord out of a fear of hell,not being saved,etc.
But i want to ask a question.So for someone like me with autism,it’s hard for me to understand some things.If there are any wise Christians out there,can you,in simpler but no less important terms,explain “what the definition of apostasy is and examples of it?”
Allow me to explain why I worry about this topic,though I’m not so worried as I was about it a couple days ago,what worries me is me somehow committing or having committed apostasy and God turning away from me and me being abandoned by God.There are times things may pass my mind that I think voluntarily or involuntarily,that after a microsecond of thought,I immediately confess and repent,I repent as to show the Lord I’m still repentant and not an apostate.
over the course of the past week,I have extensively experienced intrusive thoughts,and many of them have scared me,some were voluntary and some not,but I never failed to confess them.
From what I know I’ve probably spent too much time on Quora in the past and seen answers to some biblical questions from atheists or “former Christians” and I guess my mind has been scared of becoming that.
that brings me to my next question,”can someone explain the parable of the soils?,im always worried I’m either rocky or thorny soil.”
I admit,most times,if not sometimes,my attention is drawn to things in the world,like tv,video games,or my phone.And I’m afraid that may represent Thorny soil
As for Rocky soil,my excessive fear of falling away,and intrusive thoughts,feelings,desires,etc make me constantly examining and attentive to my spiritual condition.
the reason I’m typing this is because I was playing Minecraft a couple minutes ago and I took my attention of thinking of the Lord and focused on my game.(Which for those of you who don’t know,is a simple game where you build,craft,and survive in a blocky world,there are things like enchanting In it,as well as killing mythical creatures like zombies,skeletons,large spiders,and bad guys)I rarely play violent games like GTA or FPS games as much as I did.
Which brings me to my Third Question,
“What is an idol?”
From my knowledge,an idol can either be a statue representing pagan,voodoo,Buddhist,Hindu,folk religion gods, OR something that is against the Bible that has ones extensive attention and time to.
As of right now,I’m slightly worried,that in that short moment of time I turned away from the Lord.I know I probably should stop being so scared and worried about how strict God may be and abide on his Grace.
I have asked him to please “incline my heart to the things of your will and the things obedient to you”,to “stay with me always and for life”,to “please convict me of sin” (which I haven’t experienced but anything I see as sin I confess),mostly to “Please sustain me in faith”,and “To please never let me cross the line of apostasy”.I even probably 20 times have said this prayer “Lord if I have in any way committed apostasy I repent and confess and ask for forgiveness,please keep me in your family,please don’t abandon me”
PS:I will write an update tomorrow after my doctors appointment to let everyone know of some long awaited Good news.
Update:January 18th-8:46 am:
I had a scary thought,when I was reading the responses to this post I was bombed with in my head and heart with “Faith seems so hard,I’m waiting so long for help,it’s tiring” I can’t remember what else it was but that’s as best as I can articulate it,so for 15 minutes after reading the responses I was fighting,and still am the intrusive thoughts/temptations towards apostasy or abandoning the lord and I’m scared I’ve committed it.I keep pleading to God to please never let me fall away,I’ve even asked him a handful of times to remove my option of free will and keep me with him forever so I never fall away,has anyone ever thought the same thing before?,like have any of you ever thought through faith is hard and temptation to give up,because I’ll never give up on the Lord.
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