question

[OptimisticSmile]

First off, God has been really great lately. I realized today that he chastises those he loves. That makes a little more sense of where hes taken me those times I thought he was angry and rejecting towards me I now see he was out of love using that time to teach me and to yeild fruits of righteousness as Hebrews says. Right now there is someone aty my church who is going through the same thing and my Pastor has invited me to counsel the person if he would be open to it. I know its not ethical but he told the counsellee that he new someone who went through it recently and would be glad to talk about it. It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1


Now my question .
I was talking to my Pastor today about some writing I did on the topic of the christian experience of chastisment and feeling as though God is abscent. He told me that he read that the famous Pastor Benjamin Warfield who is known for "biblical inerrancy" went through a horrible time of doubting his salvation. I was wondering if anyone knew about his story or any other great pastor or writer besides the one mentioned already on the forum.

My Mom told me yesterday "if faith were a feeling many pastors would not go to church on sunday" I thought that was neet .

Also I would like to compile some qoutes on the topic and so anything like the C.S.Lewis writings woudl be appreciated.

 

[gracealone]

Hi OP,
I'll certainly be praying for you as you have this wonderful priveledge of sharing your experiences with OCD and how God is using them to grow you up into Himself. I know you will be of great encouragement to this person.

Here's a Lewis quote that I found just the other night.

"Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith. I don't agree at all. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the Passion of Christ. For the beginning of the Passion - the first move, so to speak - is in Gethsemane. ...
There, lest any trial incident to humanity should be lacking, the torments of hope- of suspense, anxiety- were at the last loosed upon Him - the supposed possibility that, after all, He might, he just conceivably might, be spared the supreme horror. "
my comment:
(And yet, He who still had the power of choice to refuse the cross while in the midst of this - the greatest and most instense anxiety imaginable still chose obedience to His Father because of His great love for us. He "set His face like a flint" and went willingly to the cross on our behalf. This is the greatest demonstration of volitional faith in all of History.)
Here's another:
"The act of cowardice is all that matters, the emotion of fear is, in itself no sin."
John Bunyan's book, of which I've only read online passages of thus far contains many quotes about his thoughts and struggles with OCD. I believe it's called, "Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinners."
Here's a couple of quotes from brother Lawrence's book, "Practicing the Presence of God" which convey his 10 year long struggle with OCD thoughts which centered on doubts about his salvation. As this little volume was written over 300 years ago he had no education or knowledge about psychological disorders, like we do.
The quotes:
"For some years, Brother Lawrence had been quite disturbed because he wasn't certain that he was saved. Even so, he maintained the attitude that he had become a Christian because he loved the Lord, and he would continue to love Him, whether he was certain of his salvation or not." (This is that act of volitional faith that is available to all of whether we have OCD or not.)
Some more snippets from the same book:
"During the first 10 years, however, I worried that my walk with the Lord wasn't good enough.... It seemed that everything - even God was against me...
Sometimes it got so bad that I thought I was on my way to hell - willfully offending God- and that there was no salvation for me."
God bless you for your willingness to share your experiences with this person who is suffering in a similar manner.
Be braced and prepared for any possible counter attacks. Next to every mountain there lies a valley.
Mitzi

 

[OptimisticSmile]

thats great . I have the book practicing the prescence of God but I havent read it. It was a formetr pastors favorite book and he gave it to my mother.

that encourages me about the fear thing. On my mission trip I got stoped by a policman who asked for my passport and I did not have it on me and had no way of getting it. Even though I should have been detained he let us go after we explained we were sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. I felt so condemned having felt fearful and then the thought came to me that "mabye that wasnt a God moment" that then led me to believe that I was commiting the sin of blasphemy by seing clear evidence of God and then rejecting it and saying it wasnt God and still maintianing the feelings of doubt and doom despite that awsome moment where God protected me.

I now tell myself that it was out of his love that he chose for me to have that amazing experience and it is because im his child .

 

[universalspirit]

I don't know but God bless you for your efforts.

 

[jc9992]

I know EXACTLY how you feel O Smile.about 2 weeks ago while i was praying at my parents house i felt the Holy Spirit come upon me.my mom later told me that she could see and feel that something had come over me.i was quite excited about this but later on i started thinking(and doubting)"what if God hadn't given me something and it was just me exaggerating"?

I know thats not true and so im learning to have more faith and less doubting

God bless.

 

[gracealone]

First off, God has been really great lately. I realized today that he chastises those he loves. That makes a little more sense of where hes taken me those times I thought he was angry and rejecting towards me I now see he was out of love using that time to teach me and to yeild fruits of righteousness as Hebrews says. Right now there is someone aty my church who is going through the same thing and my Pastor has invited me to counsel the person if he would be open to it. I know its not ethical but he told the counsellee that he new someone who went through it recently and would be glad to talk about it. It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1


Now my question .
I was talking to my Pastor today about some writing I did on the topic of the christian experience of chastisment and feeling as though God is abscent. He told me that he read that the famous Pastor Benjamin Warfield who is known for "biblical inerrancy" went through a horrible time of doubting his salvation. I was wondering if anyone knew about his story or any other great pastor or writer besides the one mentioned already on the forum.

My Mom told me yesterday "if faith were a feeling many pastors would not go to church on sunday" I thought that was neet .

Also I would like to compile some qoutes on the topic and so anything like the C.S.Lewis writings woudl be appreciated.

Hi OP,
Here's another quote from Lewis:
"The soul that has once been waked, or stung, or uplifted by the desire of God, will inevitably (I think) awake to the fear of losing Him."

Can you relate? I sure can.

Nothing matters more than my awareness of Him, my realization of my unworthiness of Him and my great desire/need to be reconciled to Him through the cross of Christ. Because of this any doubt or uncertainty that I might be seperated from Him is a horror to me..("My God, My God Why?! have you forsaken Me?!") The difference is that although most Chritians will experience these momentary - fleeting doubts, for those of us with OCD such thoughts can become a horrific obsessions as they did in the life of John Bunyan.
Blessings,
Mitzi

 

[OptimisticSmile]

my christmas lists conisist of three books all related to this subject, to add to my proffesional collection of christian counseling books.

Grace abounding to the chief of sinners, by John Bunyan

The C.S. Lewis collection

The hidden smile of God: the fruit of affliction in the lives of John Bunyan, william cowper, and David Brainerd by John Piper,

 

[gracealone]

Hi OP,
That's amusing because my Christmas list always includes books that I have been wanting to read: This year "Grace Abounding" is at the top of my list.
So many great books... and so little time to absorb them all. I love the feast but I have a terrible habit of reading in a buffet style... usually reading at least three books at once. It's like having all these great desserts in front of you and wanting to sample them all at the same time.
Mitzi

 

[OptimisticSmile]

I hate reading but I think God is leading me to read these books as part of my schooling aside from graduate work and he has given me a personal interest for them.

the interesting thing about John Bunyan for me is that as a child I did a school project on him (evidence that Christ was using me as a child) and so when I started struggling and heard about his OCD trouble it was almost like God led me to do that project as a child knowing that one day I would return to studying him.