question

[girlofgrace727]

i posted this in courting couples too...

so, about this best friend of mine that I really really like

I've heard forever from most people how the guy needs to be the one to persue the girl...and I can say that he has persued me kinda, in a very subtal way..I think because of the fact that we are such good friends, and when we were younger used to laugh at people when they said we would get married

so I personally think he is scared of rejection..I am scared to admit that I have fallen for him, but I really want him to know..and I think that if I let him know that I like him, that he obviously won't be scared of rejection...

is it wrong for the girl to make the first move? I've just always been told "let him persue you"

I just think I will go nuts if I dont figure out what we are both feeling SOON

 

[PastorJer]

girlofgrace

I know that the whole "the guy should pursue the gal" thing has been told to you time and time again. Here is the thing... just telling him how you feel is not you pursuing him... it is letting him know that you would be OK with him pursuing you ...

There is of course always the risk that you would be taking (ie He isn't actually interested in pursuing you...) but would it not be better to know that than get your hopes and dreams to a place where that is what you long for and in the meantime miss something better that God may have for you?

I would say that if you can find a way to talk to him ALONE do it and share what you are feeling... chances are that he may be feeling similar but just doesn't know how to express it (speaking from experience here) ...

Anyways best of luck ... but remember being single isn't all that bad (9942 days and counting here...)

 

[waterbear]

I don't see anything wrong with the woman bringing up a romantic interest: I highly doubt that if he was interested that'd turn him off I'd add that I don't think it matters who pursues who - the reasons the "the guy shall pursue the girl" axiom gets tossed around are usually shortsighted (from my experience, most people would rather be pursued than pursue - it's less work and less risk).

 

[JPPT1974]

I don't see anything wrong with the woman bringing up a romantic interest: I highly doubt that if he was interested that'd turn him off I'd add that I don't think it matters who pursues who - the reasons the "the guy shall pursue the girl" axiom gets tossed are usually shortsighted (from my experience, most people would rather be pursued than pursue - it's less work and less risk).

Neither do I just as long as you don't go overboard as well as act rude about it. Just being friends first and foremost and getting to know one another is more important than pursuing a relationship if the Lord wants you both to have one.

 

[girlofgrace727]

Neither do I just as long as you don't go overboard as well as act rude about it. Just being friends first and foremost and getting to know one another is more important than pursuing a relationship if the Lord wants you both to have one.

the thing with that is we already are best friends..and have been for 5 years so we know a ton about each other...we've seen each other at our best our worst, gone through lots together, and i'm just realizing I don't see my life without him

 

[fishstix]

is it wrong for the girl to make the first move? I've just always been told "let him persue you"

It's not wrong; it's just traditionally not as common. Some people place a lot of value on cultural traditions; others don't. If you're comfortable with making the first move, then go ahead.

 

[justasinner]

is it wrong for the girl to make the first move? I've just always been told "let him persue you"

I just think I will go nuts if I dont figure out what we are both feeling SOON

My advice is just ask him or have another friend ask him how he feels about you.

Then if he is interested tell him how you fell or allow your friend to tell him.

Also, in today world, it is accepted that a girl can make the first move. Even though most girl will still wait until the guy does, but this allows some girls to lose the guy because of waiting for him to ask.

 

[london boy]

No, it's not wrong a woman to say what she feel first. I have to agree with justasinner in that you should talk to a mutual friend. That should confirm whether you both feel the same way about each other. If you've been best friends for so long, then whatever the outcome is, it will prove to be a blessing. When you feel comfortable about revealing the true nature of your feelings, then take a leap of faith and say how you feel, ok?

 

[JPPT1974]

My advice is just ask him or have another friend ask him how he feels about you.

Then if he is interested tell him how you fell or allow your friend to tell him.

Also, in today world, it is accepted that a girl can make the first move. Even though most girl will still wait until the guy does, but this allows some girls to lose the guy because of waiting for him to ask.

Tell them in an honest way or have another friend do so also in an honest way. But also let the Lord know about your fears and thoughts. And let the Lord also decide for you first and foremost of all.

 

[lady_of_god]

It's not wrong to make the first move... i personally prefer him to move first but sometimes guys need the extra push

-Lady

 

[Sketcher]

You don't really have to worry about it if he's asked girls out before.