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Question :)

enelya_taralom

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Aug 2, 2004
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Hey all, some of you were very helpful in a post I made back in December about a guy at my church http://www.christianforums.com/t1161391-is-he-interested-or-just-being-nice.html. Anyway, as mentioned in one of my follow-up posts, after thinking that he might like me, I got a completely different signal, and feel as if I have done something wrong that has ruined any chance of friendship that we could have had.


Until tonight, it had been four weeks since we even saw each other, so on my way out from church when I saw him, I walked over to say "hi" and see how his holidays were, and I got the impression that he may not have been entirely "happy" about talking with me and that he was a bit distant.


When I first started going to the group, it was him that was coming up to me and saying "hi" (well I would be sitting next to some of his friends and he'd come up to the group and say "hi" and then look over my way, and say "hi" specifically to me), and now, ever since the concert it has been me that has gone up to him and as mentioned before, after I do, I get the feeling I need to go away. :sorry:


Before the concert, I did have a "crush" on him, in the sense that I would think about him fairly often, and "dream" about dating. Now, I do still like him, but I think it's more "healthy" now, as in I actually don't think about him when he's not around. Over the holidays, I can't think of any specific time that he was on my mind anymore than any of my other friends would have been. That being said, I do still feel as if God is leading me to him.


After my chance to talk with him, I was walking out to my car and thought "well guess there really is nothing there", but right after that thought came a vision of him and I standing in church, worshipping together and just having a great time. I have a sense of happiness in regard to him and I, when before when I was thinking about him all the time, it felt more like a dream, than anything real (if that makes sense).

I just had a great night at church, praying with some people about other stuff happening in my life, and a load has totally been lifted! I have also had a great time of late meeting new people both in school and in church, and feel as if a boyfriend could be in the near future for me. I do think that perhaps it could be his guy, though I think there is something that needs to be done/happen first. I don’t know, I guess it's like when you're trying really hard to remember something, than someone /something comes along and with just one word/action/whatever sparks your memory. Or if you're doing a magic trick, and you need the audience to yell "Abbra-Ca-Dabra" before you can pull if off. Does that make sense?


So, once again, I am interested in our opinion(s) on the situation, and what, besides prayer, should be my next action? Should I stop going up to him and just wait and see if he eventually starts saying "hi" to me again?


I know this post has been centered more toward a dating relationship, but I also know that the vision could very well have been about just a friendship, which I would still love. I just feel like he is meant to be in my life, whether it is dating, or a friendship that extends outside of church or will only ever be about church (my vision was, after all, with us in church and not at a movie, coffee shop etc). I just don’t want him feeling uncomfortable or like he has to distance himself from me (if that is how he’s actually feeling, I could just be imagining things;) ). I just want things back to the first few weeks, when he'd come up to me and say "hi" with a smile :blush: :)
 

Iggster

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I applaud for being very mature about this. Just because he stops initiating the," Hi," that doesn't mean you should. Afterall, aren't we still suppose to have a Chrsit-like heart and love at will? Keep saying," Hi." The Lord will smile at you for it. :)

You seem to be a very level headed young woman. I think you'll do just find. If an opportunity does arise, if I were you, I'd give it chance. I would probably drop the thoughts of being with him. Because for your future b/f, he may feel as if you're comparing. Give the guy a fair shake. I think that's all he'd ever want.

Sis...You deserve to be with someone who will appreciate you for who you really are. Someone who wants to be a part of your life. Someone who's willing to go out of his way to make those tears become tears of joy. Stay bless....:thumbsup:
 
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the_man

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This is from My Utmost for His Highest, a devotional by Oswald Chambers. You'd most likely benefit from todays devotial.

http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/utmost/01/19/

[font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][font=Times New Roman, New York,Serif][size=+2]Vision and Darkness[/size][/font] [/font]
[font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]When the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him[/font][font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular][size=-1]
—Genesis 15:12[/size][/font] [/font]​
[font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular] Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" ( Isaiah 49:2 ). The saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light-that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him (see Isaiah 50:10-11 ). [/font]

[font=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? "I am Almighty God . . ."—El-Shaddai, the All-Powerful God ( Genesis 17:1 ). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.[/font]
 
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mostie

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You know, this reminds me a great deal of a good friend of mine---he had been divorced for 5 years (after trying very hard to reconcile with his ex wife, he was saved a week before they split up- his whole family, her included, felt that he had totally lost his mind when he 'got religion'...)ANYway.....for years, he somewhat hoped for a relationship, but wanted it to be the one God had for him, and he had met someone at church...no dating or anything, and he told me that when he first met her, he thought to himself, 'Oh Lord....no way, she reminds me SO much of my ex...Lord, if you want something for me and her, I don't think I can do it'.....and he pretty much forgot about it. Nothing happened for a year-absolutely nothing whatsoever. Then one night, he was driving through town really late, and he was bothered by things (nobody in his life- this guy is an awesome christian, but I guess he just sorta hit bottom that night, lol)---and he told God, 'Lord, when is it going to be my turn???'....he said there was absolutely nobody else on the road in town that night, except for one car coming toward him...and it just happened to be this woman. They stopped their cars in the street side by side to talk, and im not sure what happened, but they decided to get together for coffee.....Well, for some wierd reason, she told him over coffee that she felt the Lord wanted them together (she's a strong christian too), and my friend turned around and I guess he had some sort of confirmation from God about her, because lo and behold, they got together, they are planning on marrying (not sure when....), and have a mentoring couple at church that they sorta hang out with in order to learn how to have a godly marriage. I guess what im getting at here, is that for him, this was just a strange thing (well, ok...I thought it was off the wall, lol)....but I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord truly did bring them together. Maybe this is what God has in mind for you and this guy, and maybe He is sorta letting you in on it a little bit ahead of time--you never know! Just keep praying about it, and ask God to lead you in the direction He would have you go with this guy~
 
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mostie

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One more thing I forgot to add....this guy friend of mine, at first he and I were both interested in each other, and I always had this really awesome 'feeling' about he and I...funny thing is, every single time we tried to sort of pull something together, it just...didn't work, things got in the way, it was the oddest thing---however, he turned out to be a wonderful friend---im not saying that will happen with you, but I guess in time you'll find out, huh? lol
 
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