Question(s) on annulments

[s_gunter]

A little back-story:

A former coworker of mine was the victim of an incredibly abusive husband. He used to severely beat her, he'd lock her in a closet for several days at a time, and he'd treat her like his house-slave and sex slave. It took her a very long time to escape this man, and to divorce him (he fought her tooth and nail) and keep custody of her children.

She now works for one of the local parishes. As you know, the Catholic church has morality clauses which say that you must live Catholic (no living with a man that is not your husband, etc.) in order to keep your job. Every year, she has to submit the paperwork for an annulment in order to keep her job (since she is divorced), even though she never remarried and is not even interested in, much less living with a man who is not her husband. Every year her annulment is denied, even though she has proven the abuse she suffered at the hands of the man she divorced.

Are Catholics who are divorced but not remarried or living with a man in a romantic relationship allowed to receive the Eucharist? Why is the church, with their denials of her annulment, basically telling her she should remarry this abusive man in order to be "living the Catholic life?" On the basis of the divorce alone (not including the reasons for the divorce, just that she's divorced), she cannot even receive Communion in the Church. WHY?

 

[relling]

Hi Gunter,

She now works for one of the local parishes. Every year, she has to submit the paperwork for an annulment in order to keep her job (since she is divorced), even though she never remarried and is not even interested in, much less living with a man who is not her husband.

The parish cannot require that she obtain or try to obtain a declaration of nullity. She has not remarried so she is, in that respect, a Catholic in good standing.

Why is the church, with their denials of her annulment, basically telling her she should remarry this abusive man in order to be "living the Catholic life?" On the basis of the divorce alone (not including the reasons for the divorce, just that she's divorced), she cannot even receive Communion in the Church. WHY?

A Catholic is only prohibited from receiving communion if they remarry. A divorce does NOT prevent them from receiving communion.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

Ray

 

[s_gunter]

The parish cannot require that she obtain or try to obtain a declaration of nullity. She has not remarried so she is, in that respect, a Catholic in good standing.



A Catholic is only prohibited from receiving communion if they remarry. A divorce does NOT prevent them from receiving communion.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

Ray

That's what I thought, hence my question. Something hokey is going on down here in regards to her and the church. Makes me wonder if the ex-husband is someone *ahem* valuable in the diocese, or he's related to someone who is...

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Most likely you're not getting the entire story about her annulment.

Either way, its none of your business.

Jim

 

[Gnarwhal]

That's what I thought, hence my question. Something hokey is going on down here in regards to her and the church. Makes me wonder if the ex-husband is someone *ahem* valuable in the diocese, or he's related to someone who is...

I hope that's not the case. If it were wouldn't they probably try to fire her no matter what?

 

[Martinius]

Something sounds strange here. First, it shouldn't be necessary to submit paperwork for an annulment every year. A decision could be delayed if the info is not complete, but that should not mean starting over. Second, even if her ex-husband does not cooperate, she should be okay if she gets corroboration from others about the abuse and the marital situation, and statements from others are part of the process. Third, I have personally known divorced Catholics who continued in the employ of a parish or diocese without being forced to apply for an annulment. The OP or their friend is being misinformed.

As has been repeatedly stated around here, divorced Catholics can receive communion and are in good standing in the Church unless they re-marry without an annulment.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Most likely you're not getting the entire story about her annulment.

Either way, its none of your business.

Jim

This forum is full of relationship experts who know every personal thing about your life, so they are in a position to absolutely tell you what to do and make it their business.

 

[LivingWordUnity]

This forum is full of relationship experts who know every personal thing about your life, so they are in a position to absolutely tell you what to do and make it their business.

It's typically only when people come here asking for our opinion about their relationship that we tell them what we think about it, based on the information we were given. I'd prefer that people go to a priest or to a marriage counselor rather than coming here asking us for advice about their relationships.

 

[s_gunter]

Most likely you're not getting the entire story about her annulment.

I honestly thought about that too, that I wasn't getting the full story. However, the ex husband did get into trouble with law enforcement for what he did to her, prison time and all. She does have custody of the children, and a current restraining order against him (she and her children do). I remember her going through the trial (she did work with me then), and I trust her about the restraining order(s). She's not a liar.

Either way, its none of your business.

DUH! I know it's really none of my business, but when she told me about it, and knowing what I know, I was curious to know what could be going on here. That's all it is, asking for my own knowledge, thinking I could be wrong about what I thought I knew about annulments/receiving the Eucharist. Nothing more. I don't even see her as much as I used to, since she's no longer working with me. It's not like I'm inserting myself into her life with this or anything...

 

[s_gunter]

I hope that's not the case. If it were wouldn't they probably try to fire her no matter what?

Actually, they're trying to keep her. They *highly suggest* she applies for an annulment every year, so she can avoid hassles with their morality clause and keep her job.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Actually, they're trying to keep her. They *highly suggest* she applies for an annulment every year, so she can avoid hassles with their morality clause and keep her job.

Right, I didn't think about that detail. Well, I hope nothing shifty is happening with the diocese that is sandbagging her. Speaking from experience, annulments are a long and arduous process even with the shortened time frame and no impediments. I'm sure it doesn't make the process any more appealing that she keeps getting stonewalled by them. Kudos to her for being diligent and persistent.

 

[s_gunter]

This forum is full of relationship experts who know every personal thing about your life, so they are in a position to absolutely tell you what to do and make it their business.

*sigh. That's not my intention at all. I was asking for my own knowledge, to see if I was indeed right about annulments/divorced-but-not remarried persons receiving the Eucharist. Please read my response to Jim. I rarely even see her now...

 

[Sword of the Lord]

*sigh. That's not my intention at all. I was asking for my own knowledge, to see if I was indeed right about annulments/divorced-but-not remarried persons receiving the Eucharist. Please read my response to Jim. I rarely even see her now...

I wasn't referring to you.

 

[relling]

Right, I didn't think about that detail. Well, I hope nothing shifty is happening with the diocese that is sandbagging her. Speaking from experience, annulments are a long and arduous process even with the shortened time frame and no impediments. I'm sure it doesn't make the process any more appealing that she keeps getting stonewalled by them. Kudos to her for being diligent and persistent.

Hi Darth,
Can you think of any reason why the tribunal would be "sandbagging her"?
I can't.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Hi Darth,
Can you think of any reason why the tribunal would be "sandbagging her"?
I can't.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

I didn't say they were, I said I hope they're not.

 

[Martinius]

Actually, they're trying to keep her. They *highly suggest* she applies for an annulment every year, so she can avoid hassles with their morality clause and keep her job.

Something doesn't make sense. She is still married in the eyes of the Church, and she is not in another relationship. So there should be no issue. And does the parish encourage single employees to get married in order to keep their job? And I still don't get this "applying for an annulment every year" thing. This is not like filing your taxes.

 

[s_gunter]

Something doesn't make sense. She is still married in the eyes of the Church, and she is not in another relationship. So there should be no issue. And does the parish encourage single employees to get married in order to keep their job? And I still don't get this "applying for an annulment every year" thing. This is not like filing your taxes.

That's why I was asking. It doesn't make a lick of sense to me either.

 

[relling]

I didn't say they were, I said I hope they're not.

Hi Darth,

I hope you are not robbing any bagel shops.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

 

[Davidnic]

Whats odd is I have seen annulments granted in that exact same situation based on the fact that the abuser has limitations in entering amd understanding the bond of matrimony. So there is obviously some fact that's missing

 

[Gnarwhal]

Hi Darth,

I hope you are not robbing any bagel shops.

Let us pray for one another and love one another.

Only on Tuesdays.