Question on church attendance

[Blaise N]

Hey everyone!


I hope everyone is doing ok,I’m writing this today because I have a question regarding church.

So I’ve never posted to this thread before so I may see some new people(so those who know me well you can skip this part of the text) So I have OCD,Autism,and ADHD,and for someone like me I confess I lack motivation,not faith at all,of attending church.


Now back to the question section,So for someone like me I’m extremely cautious over any church,especially in today,one of my biggest red flags I always look for is false teachers.Thankfully on one note I know the Bible and the Lord well enough and have the spirit to know and avoid false teaching,on another note attending a new church without someone is very uncomfortable and It makes me feel alone because I won’t know any of the hymns,I won’t know anyone.

I have noticed the Lord is continuing his work on me and I maintain love and faith in him constantly.I even out of sole Desire pray and talk to him daily.So I see myself Growing,but I’m concerned that I’m sinning my not attending church.

Can someone help on this matter?

 

[atpollard]

Can someone help on this matter?

Whether or not you are ‘sinning’ is a matter that I prefer to leave between you and God. It seems above my pay grade to tell you what GOD thinks about your actions or inactions.

What I can offer is a Biblical observation that there are a LOT of “one another” verses that talk about the interaction between believers. How does one obey the call to “carry one another’s burdens” or to “encourage one another” if one refuses to gather with any others? So I will suggest that you are making your Ephesians 2:10 walk harder than it needs to be.


The LORD bless you, and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine on you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance on you,
And give you peace.’

 

[Jonaitis]

Hey everyone!


I hope everyone is doing ok,I’m writing this today because I have a question regarding church.

So I’ve never posted to this thread before so I may see some new people(so those who know me well you can skip this part of the text) So I have OCD,Autism,and ADHD,and for someone like me I confess I lack motivation,not faith at all,of attending church.


Now back to the question section,So for someone like me I’m extremely cautious over any church,especially in today,one of my biggest red flags I always look for is false teachers.Thankfully on one note I know the Bible and the Lord well enough and have the spirit to know and avoid false teaching,on another note attending a new church without someone is very uncomfortable and It makes me feel alone because I won’t know any of the hymns,I won’t know anyone.

I have noticed the Lord is continuing his work on me and I maintain love and faith in him constantly.I even out of sole Desire pray and talk to him daily.So I see myself Growing,but I’m concerned that I’m sinning my not attending church.

Can someone help on this matter?

If you aren't attending a church, then there is no participation in corporate fellowship and worship, including the sacramental ordinances, which are means of grace necessary in the strengthening of your faith, as well as leadership, accountability, and your individual part in the service toward the body of Christ. I may say this bluntly, but you are cutting yourself off from the very institution that Christ set up for the benefit of his people. Weekly gatherings is not a place to simply receive a prep talk. It is a time for like-minded people to freely express their faith after being involved in the world all week, and to engage in ordained activities that build their faith to carry them through the next week. It is almost vital for the Christian to be plugged in to a church body.

It may be hard to find the right church, but it is better to attend various churches in order to find the best suited one than to be churchless and without an extension for your faith.

 

[Tolworth John]

on another note attending a new church without someone is very uncomfortable and It makes me feel alone because I won’t know any of the hymns,I won’t know anyone.

Is there anyone who could go with you to try out churches?
Alternatively you could check out the christianityexplored web site for churches in your area and either sign up for a course to both explore how they treat Christianity and the bible, while also getting to know some of the people fromthat church.
If they aren't running a course you could contact them and get to know them and their attitude to OCD etc and arrange to go to church with them.

In attending a church one has to step outside ones comfort zone, it is a new enviroment, full of strange people, practices etc
If you can't arrange to meet and go with someone, arrive as the service begins , so you can slip into the back and leave durring the last hymn, so you don't have to face the melee of people afterwards.

 

[Techo]

I grew up with an extended family that included Aunts, Uncles, cousins and Grandparents as well as my immediate siblings and parents. It was normal to meet with them and pitch in to do your bit in any family activities. When I accepted Jesus into my life my family became further extended because I had become adopted into God's family. Every Christian in Church were either brother or sister to me. It became important to meet with them at least once a week... more if the opportunity was there. In a Church where most eveyone is a genuine born again Christian they will be brother or sister to you... perhaps even a better brother or sister to you than your natural family. They are just family you've not met yet.

If you can meet with other brothers and sisters in Christ it is good for you.
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching

The more that the world is becoming corrupted in it attitudes the more we need to join together and encourage one another in the things of the Lord.

Whenever I visit another fellowship and they sing a song I do not know I do not sing it the first time through. I listen to the words and the tune to embed it into my mind. Generally I can sing it the second time through... or... if it is a hymn... from the second verse. Music is a big part of my Christian walk so perhaps I have some talent there that others may not. Sometimes the music can be an issue. One time when I was away from home I went to a Pentecostal Church. They sang songs I did not know (probably Hillsong) but the words were displayed on the screen. Thing is... when I closed my eyes I could not make out a word that was being sung. The music so overpowered the singing I could not hear the words. They offered me ear plugs as we left.

So... to finding a 'home'... sounds like you need to go about it quietly... visit the Churches in your area... perhaps, as suggested, slip in the back door just before the start and... if it is too wild or 'crazy'... you can slip out again just as quickly. Some Churches may have a greater focus on caring for the people there and so, seeing a new face, may come up to welcome you and encourage you to come again. Sometimes that may just be to swell their numbers and you could find yourself lost in the crowd a little while later. One of the Church's main roles is to grow and develop a Christian so if the focus seems to be on how God wants to bless you, rather than on how to get to know God better, you might want to reconsider why you are going there. God is faithful. He will meet you and set you in place in a fellowship that is best for you. It will be like home to you.

 

[NotUrAvgGuy]

Unfortunately, for people like you and me, visiting a church can be a daunting experience. I just want to start out at a new church as the proverbial "fly on the wall." I want to be left alone to observe and experience at my own pace. I dread some well-wishers identifying me as a newcomer and then wanting to shower me with church information and get my name and phone number so someone can follow up with me. I am an adult. I can find information on my own or ask if I need help. I don't want anyone contacting me unless and until I decide to make that church my church home. I know how to ask questions so don't call me, I'll call you.

For all we both know, that may be my only visit to that church. I may walk away and decide it's not the church for me or I may find a better fit. No need to get my name, number, or email. I know you are just trying to be helpful and welcoming. All I ask is that you leave me be if I decline your assistance.

As someone who suffers greatly from social anxiety, I detest pressure to join groups be it a men's group, a fellowship group, or any other type of group. I think all those things are great but they don't work for me. They cause too much anxiety. I know you believe fellowship within the body is vital but recognize that there are a few of us who are the exception. We will find the type of fellowship that works for us. Resist the temptation to think we are hiding some sin or afraid of accountability if we don't sign up for these groups. For us, just showing up on a Sunday morning to be around fellow believers and worship corporately is a big deal. I used to get the dry heaves before group Bible studies. I would get sick to my stomach before going and that never went away even after attending for weeks and getting to know people. I would be so anxious to leave by the end that I was the first person out the door. I am not a cold or uncaring person. If you met me in person you would think just the opposite. I do struggle in social situations though.

I also fear well-meaning elders who want to check in on individuals and families. I understand it's part of their role as shepherds but having social anxiety in a very social organization can come across as being someone who is not truly committed, has something to hide, or is selfish. It is hard for those who have never suffered from such anxiety to relate to it. You just have to let us be. I help countless people in countless ways but one-on-one and outside of the local church. That includes witnessing. That's what works for me rather than being part of some group outreach.

The Lord knows our hearts. I keep pushing myself to be more social but I don't beat myself up for not participating in everything out there. I know it's not because I am lazy or don't care. I just hope churches will be more understanding of people who don't fit the "norm" not that there is such a thing. Be you.