Question for men

[nuarc]

Then the guy gets double bonus points - he can open both doors remotely while escorting the lady to open her door, and make her way to the car easier. I love my new remote door button!

 

[Buskanaka]

For me, it's more of an instinct rather than being taught. I couldn't be more than happy bend my back backwards twice over for the ladies.

I agree, that's how I feel. However if it was a girl that I liked and was trying to impress, I would really try hard to do that stuff and never let any opportunity pass to show off my carrying/fixing skills

 

[Living4Him03]

By the way, in my book, opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc. is not the ONLY test a guy has to pass in my book. There are other qualities that must be there as well.

 

[nuarc]

By the way, in my book, opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc. is not the ONLY test a guy has to pass in my book. There are other qualities that must be there as well.

Same here- If that was the case I'd never have a bf. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes 'tests' foreshadow things to come. They are helpful, not singular.

 

[klewlis]

Anyone telling you that Chivalry is dead is not the kind of guy you want around you.

I will try my best to open the door for my s/o, without question.

I will take her feelings, opinions, and/or advice into consideration when I make major changes in my life, which could affect our relationship.

I will never let her carry a bag by herself, unless I have a bag heavier than hers.

Thank you(s) and smile is all I need from her. I want to treat her as I would like to be treated in our relationship. To be honest, she does things for me too and buys me things I don't ask for, but she knows I'll love. Hope this clears the air a bit.

but the key is not to just do it for your significant other. treat *all* girls with that respect and they will love you to bits.

to the OP: there is nothing wrong with wanting that. just remember two things:
- it is not necessarily a "deal-breaker", if he has all the important qualities that you need.
- boys can be trained! not all of them were fortunate enough to have parents who taught them these things. but they can still be taught. i myself have trained several boys in the art of door opening.

 

[joeman1]

Don't say you're from Georgia. I may react and cause physical harm.

You can breathe easy. I am from just a little further north than that

 

[Iggster]

ok, so what if he has a keyless entry type thing and just pushes a button to unlock the doors? My ex has such a car now and he'd probably get flustered with me if I tried to unlock his door and then messed the electronic system thingy up or something lol.

Keyless means keyless.....He'd better be opening that door for yah. Unless he has an [open door before she kills yah button] on the keypad.

 

[Tuffguy]

I always open the door and help the girls out. No reason not to.

 

[harmmony]

I understand why guys get confused about all this kind of thing, I mean they are really getting mixed messages - what would thrill one lady might be insulting to another.

I really prefer that a guy not open a car door for me, but if he did I wouldn't bite his head off because he obviously believes in what he is doing.

My problems with acts of "chivalry" is my opinion (perhaps wrong) that doing these kinds of things for women originally stems from the antiquated idea that women are the weaker sex and for that reason I don't believe they are necessary. I really have a problem with not swearing or whatever in front of a lady - I don't think it should be done in front of anyone - but the idea that somehow my sensitive female ears must be protected from hearing such language really is insulting.

As to opening doors and helping people carry things I think it has nothing to do with being chivalrous or being a man and everything to do with being a decent human being. I hold doors open for people and help them carry things all the time and I do expect the same behaviour from others (men or women) - I'm usually disappointed though - and it seriously irks me when certain ignorant people do not say thank you.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

My problems with acts of "chivalry" is my opinion (perhaps wrong) that doing these kinds of things for women originally stems from the antiquated idea that women are the weaker sex and for that reason I don't believe they are necessary. I really have a problem with not swearing or whatever in front of a lady - I don't think it should be done in front of anyone - but the idea that somehow my sensitive female ears must be protected from hearing such language really is insulting.

I don't think, today, it has anything to do with being a "weaker" sex. It has more to do with common courtesy and respect towards one another. I do open doors for others, but if I'm out with a guy, I expect him to do so for me. As for swearing, again, (to me it looks like you've been bombarded and swallowed the whole feminist propaganda--I'm not saying that to be rude, but just stating what it looks like to me), nothing to do with being weaker or my ears are "sensitive." Some of the things that have come out of my mouth in the past haven't been all sweet and innocent. However, I don't want to talk like that anymore. Nor do I want to hear the sewage spouting from anyone else.

Chivalrous conduct isn't an anti-feminist agenda.

As to opening doors and helping people carry things I think it has nothing to do with being chivalrous or being a man and everything to do with being a decent human being. I hold doors open for people and help them carry things all the time and I do expect the same behaviour from others (men or women) - I'm usually disappointed though - and it seriously irks me when certain ignorant people do not say thank you.

Thanks to www.m-w.com, here's a definition of chivalrous: "marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women." By that definition, being a decent human being, having courtesy, is being chivalrous.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

You can breathe easy. I am from just a little further north than that

Rather, you should breathe easy! j/k

 

[harmmony]

I don't think, today, it has anything to do with being a "weaker" sex. It has more to do with common courtesy and respect towards one another. I do open doors for others, but if I'm out with a guy, I expect him to do so for me. As for swearing, again, (to me it looks like you've been bombarded and swallowed the whole feminist propaganda--I'm not saying that to be rude, but just stating what it looks like to me), nothing to do with being weaker or my ears are "sensitive." Some of the things that have come out of my mouth in the past haven't been all sweet and innocent. However, I don't want to talk like that anymore. Nor do I want to hear the sewage spouting from anyone else.

Chivalrous conduct isn't an anti-feminist agenda.

Thanks to www.m-w.com, here's a definition of chivalrous: "marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women." By that definition, being a decent human being, having courtesy, is being chivalrous.

Hi Caelda

Thanks for your comments. I don't believe for a minute that I have swallowed any type of feminist agenda - truthfully I don't have a clue what the feminist agenda even is. I've never had any exposure to feminist views, I have just formed my own ideas from my obversations of the world. These are just my sincerely held views which make complete sense to me. What I find completely non-sensical is the idea that a man open a car door for a woman or watch what he say around a woman (my remark about "sensitive female ears" was in fact sarcastic, unfortunately men that I have met that practise this idea tend to be somewhat chauvinistic which is why I put it that way). And the fact that you no longer want to hear people speaking with filthy mouths is irrelevant of your sex, there are plenty of men who don't want to hear it either. I may be mistaken in my ideas about the origins of these gestures, but they still seem ridiculous to me.

Thanks for the definition of chivalry and by that concept we should all be chivalrous to one another, but I still find it interesting that it says "especially to women", I have no idea why there is any distinction whatsoever between the sexes.

I think each person needs to be true to who they are and what they believe about it, that's why I would never be offended or rude to a man who opened a car door for me, or who says "ladies first" at a door or elevator. I just smile and say thank you, even though I see absolutely no need for it.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

What I find completely non-sensical is the idea that a man open a car door for a woman or watch what he say around a woman (my remark about "sensitive female ears" was in fact sarcastic, unfortunately men that I have met that practise this idea tend to be somewhat chauvinistic which is why I put it that way).

I understand what you're saying. It's almost a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde concept of some men when they're around a woman that they want to impress and the way the threat everyone else.

Thanks for the definition of chivalry and by that concept we should all be chivalrous to one another, but I still find it interesting that it says "especially to women", I have no idea why there is any distinction whatsoever between the sexes.

I think we have to look at the time that men were "chivalrous." During medieval times, women had their "place." I think that's perhaps where the "especially to women" comes into place.

I think each person needs to be true to who they are and what they believe about it, that's why I would never be offended or rude to a man who opened a car door for me, or who says "ladies first" at a door or elevator. I just smile and say thank you, even though I see absolutely no need for it.

For other women who like it for men to do that, I want to say, "THANK YOU!!" So many women (like the one someone mentioned above) get all uptight and bothered by it and take offense by it. I see it as common coutesy and really think everyone should do it for one another. Then again, we sure aren't living in a perfect world.

 

[Banana Phone]

I think on matters of chivalry, there is a sort of happy medium on the parts of both the male and the female. In saying that, I mean that the woman should not expect it and the man should not feel obligated; rather, the man should commit chivalrous acts just for the sake of doing it. I think most everyone would agree on this, it seems kind of central to the idea.

 

[Tuffguy]

I understand why guys get confused about all this kind of thing, I mean they are really getting mixed messages - what would thrill one lady might be insulting to another.

I really prefer that a guy not open a car door for me, but if he did I wouldn't bite his head off because he obviously believes in what he is doing.

My problems with acts of "chivalry" is my opinion (perhaps wrong) that doing these kinds of things for women originally stems from the antiquated idea that women are the weaker sex and for that reason I don't believe they are necessary. I really have a problem with not swearing or whatever in front of a lady - I don't think it should be done in front of anyone - but the idea that somehow my sensitive female ears must be protected from hearing such language really is insulting.

As to opening doors and helping people carry things I think it has nothing to do with being chivalrous or being a man and everything to do with being a decent human being. I hold doors open for people and help them carry things all the time and I do expect the same behaviour from others (men or women) - I'm usually disappointed though - and it seriously irks me when certain ignorant people do not say thank you.

Its all about respect. Carrying things is just a way of showing it. I'm not gonna get into the generalization of men being stronger then women cause someone will post a pic of a steriod freakish woman and stick man and go,,,"hey look,,,women are stronger then men!!!". So i'm just gonna shut up.