Question about naming a child Lilith...

[daddysgirl33]

Hi there. I posted this in the pregnancy forum but only got one reply...I'd like to hear more opinions, please.

Long story short, I am 34 years old....pregnant and due in 10 weeks with a girl. My fiance, the father of my child, has always wished to have a girl and name her Lilith. This wouldn't have been my first choice, but we are still weighing options.

Now, my mother, who is very Christian, is against me naming my baby Lilith because of the back story of Lilith being a demon (please google if you want to know more), etc...and keeps telling me I'm opening my child up to Satan if I name her this...even telling me she will never address my child by her name if it's Lilith. Now, mind you, I consider myself a Christian as well...my fiance believes in God but is not Christian. He has said he simply thinks it's an uncommon, pretty, strong girl name.

Now, I wouldn't have THAT much of a problem with the name so long as I can choose the other name. And I'm torn because while I would like for me and my fiance to compromise, and part of me thinks my mother is being superstitious......on the other hand, I don't want to be brow beaten all the time for this by my mother or any Christians in general...it's driving me crazy already.

Do any of you actually think that what my mom says is true? How can that be? People having a biblical name doesn't make them any more Godly. I need feedback to decide. Thanks for your help.

 

[citizenthom]

First question: has your fiancee ever seen Cheers or Frasier?

That's the first thing I think of when I hear "Lilith." I haven't heard of Lilith as a demon. But in case you don't know this, Lilith is also an important name in Jewish mysticism: some Jewish texts claim that Lilith was Adam's first wife, before Eve, but that Adam rejected her and God sent her out of Eden to form her own society. To that extent, I can understand the historical objection to the name. But that's a side issue, IMO.

If you were as attached to the name as your fiancee it would be one story. Then it would be entirely appropriate to tell your mother "tough luck" and make a decision as a couple. But it doesn't sound like you're thrilled about the name either...even apart from your mother's objection. You should feel comfortable voicing that objection to your fiancee and discussing other names for your daughter. There are no shortage of uncommon, strong women's names out there.

 

[Macx]

I wouldn't worry about the name in terms of Satan. There is nothing Satan can do that Christ hasn't already overcome. Having an upset mother however. . . is not something to sign on for if it can be avoided.

I do believe that there is a sort of power behind a name and the name you give a child is huge in influencing the person they will become. I see this in both my daughter who is named very appropriately - her name means "Little Dark One, Who is like God" and true to form, she has no fear of the dark and brings light and life to any place she goes. My son is named "The Green, Man of a priestly line." named for the green man of legends and art . . . he is like his name, strong and sinewy, full of life like the roots of a tree that heave a sidewalk or split a stone. Neither name is Biblical, they are in the language of my race.

I'd just caution you to consider meanings and sounds, this name is a name that will be on your lips all the days of your life and in your prayers. You will say your child's name more times than you realize and you may just say it because you love them so. I find myself doing that. Be careful, be considerate, make a choice and stand by it. You'll be fine.

 

[seashale76]

Do any of you actually think that what my mom says is true? How can that be? People having a biblical name doesn't make them any more Godly. I need feedback to decide. Thanks for your help.

I'm an Orthodox Christian and we are baptized with a Christian name. For most of us, our legal given name and our Christian name are one and the same. Throughout the scriptures, one sees people who were called by God and given a new name. We often name people after saints who completed this life in faith and we do believe that the saint a person is named after is their patron saint. I personally have a very strong affinity with my own patron saint. If one asks for the prayers of their patron saint and knows their hagiography, they should be inspired to lead a godly life as well.

You obviously do not come from such a tradition (and I doubt your mom does either unless she's Catholic or Orthodox)- but it is quite an old and biblical tradition. I would personally name my own children after known saints and wouldn't give them an anti-Christian name or one of the made up, strangely spelled things that are popular these days. What you decide to name your own child is up to you.

I'll tell you this though. I have a brother-in-law who has a sister who let her children's father name them. They all have odd names (that aren't anything special in a culture where odd names are the norm these days), but the oldest girl was named Storm Shadow after a G.I. Joe action figure. She grew up not realizing it until a few years ago and it angered her for a number of valid reasons. She legally changed her name to something feminine, literary, and traditional as soon as she turned 18 and I don't blame her one bit.

 

[Sketcher]

Well, that's an unbiblical myth, but you might as well name her Darth Zannah. The character doesn't exactly reflect the qualities most people would want in a daughter.

 

[Formerly_a_Saul]

The Lilith myth is just old middle-age superstition on the level of vampires and werewolves. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it, but if it bothers your mother then don't name her that. Or just make it her middle name.

 

[vespasia]

IRL my name is also one of the labels used for the dark goddess. These days I use a far shorter form- it saves on having to worry which helpful and worryingly daft Christian is going to produce the box of matches first. No matter where you go there will always be someone ready to throw a rock at a person with a name like that.

IF you give a name to a child there is an expectation they will live up to it. Think of people you knew at school and the names they had.

IF this child was to choose to follow Christ it could create the same sort of dilemmas I faced- and frankly once they are old enough to use Google and look their name meaning and origin up you will face some pretty strange questions like 'Why did you call me after this when we go to church'.

My name has led to me being physically assaulted by Christians, called every evil name in the book and then some, being ostracized, told I cannot be a Christian, told to have a name like that is proof I am a nepihilim/demon/belong to Satan, having the proverbial taken by none Christians who think having a name like that and claiming to serve Christ is a joke and having to deal with some very strange and worryingly weird men who so wanted a living dark goddess in their control. Do I wish someone had thought a tad more decades ago- you bet!

This is not like using a classical mythology name- this is using one of specific archetypes names that will attract comment form Christians and weirdos alike.

If its the sound of the name why not look on the variants of Lily.
There are plenty of strong women's names out there without having to tag a little kid with a name that will follow them round for the rest of their lives.

 

[Coralie]

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Here's the best advice I ever got when it somes to naming. Before you name a child, do a google image search for the name.

Lilith comes up with some rather unsavoury images, even on Moderate SafeSearch ,including a female demon-figure being crucified (lovely). Prett much all the pix are of naked ladies. I tried it on total SafeSearch and it was almost exactly the same.

EDITED: In fact, the Moderate SafeSearch comes up with a super-offensive image, which I missed when I scanned the page!!!! So I changed the link to complete SafeSearch! Just goes to show, eh?...

Fact is, the name connotes darkness, gothic-y magic, and rampant sexuality. In short, it's (in my opinion) the type of name a burlesque stripper would choose for her Goth-themed show.

Y'all don't want that for your daughter. You want to give her a name that would serve her well in ALL facets of life--whether she decides to be a judge, a social worker, a plumber or a checkout girl.

FWIW, my mom named me a stripper name. When I google my name, I get pictures of mostly naked WWF female wrestlers and porn DVD ordering.

Fact is, people judge other people (especially women) on their name. It doesn't help that I'm blonde: I often get people assuming things about me, particularly in the workplace. I am changing it to a variation of my baptismal name ASAP, making my current first name a middle name.

My suggestion? Name her Elizabeth. Lily is a traditional nickname for Elizabeth, and y'all can stretch it a little and call her Lilith as a nickname.

Then, when she's older and needs to be taken seriously (say on a resume or a scholarshop application), she can switch to Elizabeth, stick with Lily or Lilith, or choose any of the sweet nicknames of Elizabeth (Elly, Ella, Betsy, Beth, Bette, Lissy/Lizzy, etc. etc.).

Or perhaps name her Lily (which is strictly speaking a nickname, but at least a pretty one).

From a Biblical perspective, Elizabeth is a fabulous name (mother of John the Baptist with a beautiful story attached to her).

Lily's not bad either; it's a direct translation of the Hebrew Shoshannah/Susannah/Susan, which means "lily". There are references to lilies in the Song of Solomon ("I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley...")

If your girl grows up to be a Christian, she'll appreciate that.

The name of a medieval sex demon? Not so much.

Good luck whatever you choose!

 

[Autumnleaf]

Do not name your child anything they will likely become ashamed of. Your fiance is an insensitive fool if he insists on this name. This name is not something I think you would want for yourself, nor something I think you want to have to explain to everyone who wonders about it from the time your child is born until you are no longer around.

 

[Lulav]

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold. Proverbs 22:1

 

[Coralie]

Yeah, it's not really about the name being Biblical or not Biblical. I personally would only name my child a Saint or Biblical name. But it's more... like, what are the connotations of the name?

Why would any young girl who's making her way in life want to introduce herself with a name that has demons, "sinful" sexiness, deception, and darkness associated with it? Whether she's a Christian or not??

I mean, there's a slim chance she'll grow up to be a dark-magic pagan (in which case she may appreciate the name), but I mean, really, the chances of that aren't that high. She'll probably be a nice, normal, sweet girl. So she deserves a name that doesn't carry such heavy connotations.

 

[ChildOfGod97]

the back story of Lilith being a demon (please google if you want to know more), etc...and keeps telling me I'm opening my child up to Satan if I name her this...

That a myth and superstitious.

Of course.


Some people insist watching television is witchcraft. Some think computers are of the Devil. People believe all sorts of nonsense that builds up fear and the devil in their mind and the minds of others... not realizing the negative effects of what they are doing -- even though it is so painfully obvious.

 

[daddysgirl33]

Thank you all for your input. I will continue to pray and read any more replies, and we are still weighing our options. This is really helpful!!!

 

[Peripatetic]

As you can see, you'll get different opinions on this one. Here's mine: there is no real harm to come from a name. I know a hockey player with the last name Satan (pronounced sha-TAN). I don't think that makes him a bad person, nor do I think a Hispanic man named Jesus (pronounced hay-SOOS) gets special benefits.

That said, I would advise against naming a child anything that could cause future regret of any kind. There are so many names out there that it's not hard to find one that you can agree on (even if it isn't your or his first choice). The naming of my children was a bit of a negotiation, and now I can't imagine them any other way.