Me and my wife just got married. We are extremely happy with each other, are best friends, and have a very happy marriage.
The only problem is that when we are trying to be intimate, it seems as if there isn't really a huge spark there in that area. We are both attracted to each other, but my wife has never had any form of sexual activity, even masturbation, growing up, as she attended an extremely strict baptist church while growing up, and they taught her that any form of sexual thought or experimentation with herself was a sin. I personally disagree with that.
Anyway, what can we do? We do have sex, but it's only a few times a week, once or twice, and really want to spice up our sex life.
My wife is very candid about how she feels; she tells me she wants to have sex with me to make me happy, and that she enjoys it, but doesn't give a lot of stimulation out of it or pleasure.
I feel one of the reasons is she has never mentally gotten ready for sex; she has never discovered what pleases her, and all doctors and scientist and psychologist say that it's very important for a woman to be ready mentally and desire it mentally based on what she already knows before she can truly enjoy sex for herself.
I feel that this is a mental issue, not saying she's "mental", just that she has never discovered her sexuality due to her extremely biased and strict views on sex via her church growing up. Also, when she was 8, her uncle sexually molested her, and although she admits she doesn't think it plays a part in it, she admits as well that she isn't sure, and that it might be.
So I ask, what can we do? The situation isn't dire; we both know that marriage isn't about sex, and we are both just fine cuddling up in bed watching a movie. But we do want to please each other and want help regarding this. Thank you.
The only problem is that when we are trying to be intimate, it seems as if there isn't really a huge spark there in that area. We are both attracted to each other, but my wife has never had any form of sexual activity, even masturbation, growing up, as she attended an extremely strict baptist church while growing up, and they taught her that any form of sexual thought or experimentation with herself was a sin. I personally disagree with that.
Anyway, what can we do? We do have sex, but it's only a few times a week, once or twice, and really want to spice up our sex life.
My wife is very candid about how she feels; she tells me she wants to have sex with me to make me happy, and that she enjoys it, but doesn't give a lot of stimulation out of it or pleasure.
I feel one of the reasons is she has never mentally gotten ready for sex; she has never discovered what pleases her, and all doctors and scientist and psychologist say that it's very important for a woman to be ready mentally and desire it mentally based on what she already knows before she can truly enjoy sex for herself.
I feel that this is a mental issue, not saying she's "mental", just that she has never discovered her sexuality due to her extremely biased and strict views on sex via her church growing up. Also, when she was 8, her uncle sexually molested her, and although she admits she doesn't think it plays a part in it, she admits as well that she isn't sure, and that it might be.
So I ask, what can we do? The situation isn't dire; we both know that marriage isn't about sex, and we are both just fine cuddling up in bed watching a movie. But we do want to please each other and want help regarding this. Thank you.