Question about getting 'help'

[SoleOrison]

I'm known to be a very depressive person, although i don't have any idea on why I am. I also self-injure and lately it has gotten worse. I used to just burn, but now I find myself both burning and cutting and it's very addictive. The few people that I've told about my SI have mentioned me seeing a councilor or as we say, a "shrink". However, I find myself very opposed to this idea. My family doesn't know about my SI. Once they saw it in a journal entry but I convinced them it wasn't true. Now my mother makes jokes about it whenever I get angry, saying things like "aw why don't you go a slice your veins then?". She means it in a joking, non-offenseive way, but since I really do SI, it just makes things worse and triggers me. I really don't want my parents to know, for family reasons that would take far too long of an explanation to post here. So my reasons for not seeking "professional help" are these:

1. I'd have to tell my parents, and i don't want that
2. I really don't think it's what I need, although I do admit, I need to talk to someone but....
3. Speaking about my most personal emotions to a complete stranger sounds absurd to me.
4. Those I know who have gone to 'seek help' just end up on medications, which I DON'T want
5. Getting help would make me feel less of a person, more of an animal who needs help (i know that sounds weird)


there's other reasons but i'd like to keep this post as short as possible. I guess my question is, should I get help and see a 'shrink' when I'm so radically opposed to it?

 

[bassdrum1]

i'm the same way. tell someone u trust what's going on that has a consuler degree like a youth pastor or someone like that. i'm telling my youth pastor tonight but i'm gonna have a friend or 2 with me when i do.

 

[Renwolf]

I'm known to be a very depressive person, although i don't have any idea on why I am.

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. There doesn't have to be any reason for it, any more than there has to be a reason that someone is diabetic. The reason is that for some reason, the brain of a person with depression doesn't work as well as the brain of a person without depression.

1. Could you tell your parents that you want to talk to someone and not mention self injury? Just say that you've been feeling really stressed and you think it would help to talk to someone?
2. You kind of answered this one yourself. It probably would help to talk to someone, especially if you already feel like you maybe want to. Things like clinical depression and self injury tend to not go away by themselves. It usually takes some sort of professional help.
3. Yep. It feels absured sometimes, too. The problem with trying to fix problems like depression and self injury yourself is that as long as your brain chemicals are still messed up, it's impossible to be objective about the situation. It takes an outside perspective to try to find solutions that will help.
4. Going back to the depression/diabetes comparison, medication isn't always necessary. Just like some diabetics can manage their disease with lifestyle changes like diet and exercise, it's entirely possible for some people with depression to do the same. You can tell your therapist, or whoever you decide to talk to, that you don't want to use medications except as a last resort. A good therapist will understand that and will be willing to work with you on your terms.
5. Depression is a disease, but it's a treatable disease. Getting help to treat an illness isn't a sign of weakness. A person with depression is just as deserving of help as a person with diabetes, or cancer or high blood pressure, or any other physical illness. It's not your fault your brain chemicals are messed up. It doesn't make you any less of a person.

I guess my question is, should I get help and see a 'shrink' when I'm so radically opposed to it?

Well, I say yes, just because you won't know until you try and if you don't like it, you can always quit. I also say yes because I've been struggling with self injury for coming up on 21 years now, and depression for probably almost as long. I was in mid 20s before I realized that I had problems that I couldn't fix on my own, and I hate the idea of anyone else struggling that long alone.

 

[ebonyelegance]

I feel the exact same way. You see my lil' bro and sis saw may scars on my hips. and a couple days later my mom pulls down the side of my pants exposing my scars. Later that day we had a talk and i told her it was like 3 weeks ago that i had stopped and that i wouldn't do it again...... but that was so not true. and it was a little less then a week. and i still feel like doing it most of the time. And i know i will. but i also know i need help, it's just like you said though, my reasons for not wanting to get help are the same yours. But I know i'll need it sooner or later.

 

[SoleOrison]

*nods* Thanks, i'll take the advice into consideration, although, i have a tough time believe all this 'chemical imbalance' stuff...

 

[Renwolf]

*nods* Thanks, i'll take the advice into consideration, although, i have a tough time believe all this 'chemical imbalance' stuff...

Check out this website ( http://www.brainplace.com/bp/atlas/ch7.php ). Actual brain scans of people with depression compared to brain scans of a people without depression. Whether it's brain chemicals or something else, there's pretty good evidence that the brain of a person with depression doesn't work the same way as the brain of a person without depression.

No pressure, just some extra info for you to consider

 

[4childofgod]

*nods* Thanks, i'll take the advice into consideration, although, i have a tough time believe all this 'chemical imbalance' stuff...

It's tough but it can become long term I am 29 and I self injure but I have not for 10 Days I have had to become accountable to a few people seems like if people know about this terrible secret it is a little more of a deterent good luck! Get Help God Bless

 

[SoleOrison]

Thanks, I think what will end up happening is I'll wait until the end of this school year, when I graduate...and then go for help after that.

 

[luvnpeas]

maybe think about it from your parents perspective for a sec. would they rather find out about your SI accidentally (which is bound to happen) or hear it straight from you. My parents found out the hard way and I lost a lot of their trust, they were so disappointed and I was completely heartbroken. Telling them yourself will take a lot of strength and a lot of courage. Trust me though, it will be much less of a pain than what you're going through now keeping it from them. Whenever you're ready to tell them, you'll have my prayers to back you up girl! (you can pm anytime if you wanna talk about shrinks and meds b/c i do have stuff to say but i gotta go sorry!!)

 

[SoleOrison]

Good news! I stopped my SI, without help or shrinks and now my parents never have to know. I've been clean for almost months now.

 

[NinadeDios777]

Good news! I stopped my SI, without help or shrinks and now my parents never have to know. I've been clean for almost months now.

how in the world did you do THAT? *wants tips*

 

[penguin]

I didnt want to see a 'shrink' what a horrid word. When i was referred I thought it was a pscologist noy psyc that I was seeing. It wasnt till after id seen him that I realized. I went with my counciller. I may not have gone if I realized it was a 'shrink' but i am glad I went . Its a matter of excepting you have a mental illness however harsh that sounds. I found it really hard. What you have is you have depression (and this is NOT to belittle it ) it is a physical illness like diabetes for which indeed medications could really help just as insulin helps. also if you break a leg you would have it put in plaster. i know how hard it is but believe me once you can accept it you can recieve help and let people help. It's not a sin to have depression it is an illness. WOuld you hobble around in pain on a broken leg - I think not . Why then suffer any more than you need. See your doctor . Get meds ,see a 'shrink' Chat to your parents perhaps of the way you are feeling. at first you dont need to tell them about self harm until you are ready if at all but do please seek help. You are too precious not to.
I know it is really hard. Take a deep breath . I dont think you will do yourself more harm by not seeking help. Is there any one at your church who you could talk to . At my church we have pastrol care people from whom i have been greatly helped as well as the meds and'shrink' Acceting your illness it the hardest by most important step to recovery. i speak from true personal experience. And yes look into the chemical imbalance thing. You will find it is so
Penguin

 

[SoleOrison]

i simply decided to stop...and forced myself to. It's really hard, but with God everything's possible no? anyways...it hasn't been perfect...i've slipped up a few times, but i have cut down immensely. I don't SI hardly as much as I did before. Still without meds and such. I guess i'm just so determined not to use them, that i've actually forced myself to stop.

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

SI can occur with or without depression and not all people who self injure need to be on medication. I have avoided telling my family as I am not sure whether or not I could handle their reaction at the moment. My step mum saw some of the bruises last week, as did my step sister so I had to make up some fast excuses. It has really made me rethink things as if I want to continue doing it I have to be prepared for them finding out and as has been said previously, it might be better to tell them rather than them find out for themselves. It's a difficult balancing act though!

 

[bliz]

SoleOrison -

Some things to consider... I don't think that your Mom is convinced as you think she is that SI is not a problem. The reasons she jokes about it is becasue it is on her mind and it is something she fears. We humans often joke about what scares us as a way of making it less scary, and othing is a scary to us as the unknown.

Try writing your Mom a letter, going only into the as much information as you need to, saying that you would like to get some help with this and that you will need her help to get a counseling appointment and ask if she willl help you do so. It might go down better if you talk mostly about depression rather than SI - you know how it spooks people sometimes.

Being a Mom, your Mom may want to pump you for information about what you do and why etc. Say - "Mom, I think I need some professional help and I need to talk about all that with them. I need you to love me and support me in getting that help. And to hug me a lot!"

You will probably find that talking to a stranger is actually far easier than talking to someone you know, let alone someone whose opinion of you really matters to you. A counselor has one and one agenda alone - to help your life go better. Parents and friends and pastors, as much as they love you, have other agendas as well, and that can really complicate things.

No one else knows how much you need this help, so you are not likely to get it if you don't take action. That's hard to do, and it doesn't see quite fair, but that's how it is.

 

[jesuschickseven]

Counselors and freinds can help, but the only one who can really help you is Jesus...just spend as much time as you can talking to Jesus. I know you;ve probably heard that a million times, but until you surrender everything to him nothing will help you.
I have recovered from cutting, but it was a two-year struggle. My parents never knew although everyone else did. They chose to overlook the scars and play dumb, convinving themselves that I was just extraodinarily clumsy.
I thought I had turned everything over to God, but it took some long hard prayer before he revealed the things I was still hiding in my heart...just keep praying