Question about a situation

[flowerforever7]

There is this guy in my Church congregation I have been interested in getting to know. Well, I was imagining a scenario where I was talking to / flirting with him. I felt an urge or a conviction or something that I should not be doing that as it was not healthy or productive. Immediately I think I felt an urge to curse the Holy Spirit and some derogatory thought came out of my mind like starting to tell the Holy Spirit to go to h*ll or something similar, but as it was happening I said something in my head like "no I'm not doing that" or "that's not okay". It felt more like a temptation to curse at the Holy Spirit. I am frustrated. I asked God to wipe my sins away. Now though, I feel like it could be sinning against God by pursuing anything with this guy, because of that thought / feeling. What are your thoughts???

 

[OCD=Owie]

Well is there any actual logic behind these fears that you shouldn't be talking to this guy? It sounds like your OCD might just be giving you grief in this area. There's nothing wrong in and of itself with pursuing a relationship with someone like you were.

The fact that intrusive thoughts popped into your mind when you began worrying that you shouldn't talk to him makes me think that your OCD is just grabbing onto this situation with this guy. After all, you want to get to know him, so it's only natural that your OCD would latch onto this thing that you care about.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Whether you should pursue a relationship with this guy or any other has nothing to do with your thoughts at the ttime if that's what you are asking. That reasoning is OCD.

 

[flowerforever7]

Just recently, I thought about what I would wear tomorrow; wanting to look good. As I was thinking about that, I told myself, this is a normal thought for someone who wants to look decent around someone they may have an interest in. (Normally if I get a desire like that I immediately deny it or war with myself inside because it is self-indulgent I think). As I was thinking that, I think I felt an urge to deny myself it, and a curse of some kind came out towards God's Holy Spirit. I feel like for a split second I may have meant it? But I also remember for a split second afterward, saying to myself that is an OCD thought and I'm going to ignore it. Later, I think I was trying to in my mind tell myself that God would not send me to Hell over wearing that outfit and being with that guy, as I was mentally trying to articulate the thought in my own words, then I started saying in my mind well if God is going to send me to hell over that then God be d*mned. Ughk. I was trying to make a statement to counter what I was feeling, but that came out. Obviously I immediately got frustrated and asked for God's forgiveness.

Thoughts?

 

[kaykay9.0]

Thoughts? OCD, all of it and deep down, you probably know it is too.