q about fertility workup

[sarahtar]

OK. I'm brand new here, never posted before, so I feel a little like I'm putting myself at the mercy of a roomfull of strangers. (be kind!)

I've had two miscarriages in the last 6 months, and I also have a 3 YO. DH and I are quiverfull, deciding to trust God with our fertility. We had decided a long time ago that if we had problems conceiving, we would not seek treatment, though we would be open to considering a basic blood workup/simple treatments.

At this point, though, I really don't know what to do, and I've got myself so confused, it's hard to hear God's voice through the confusion.

We have the option of going in for a basic blood workup (well, it's actually a rather intensive workup) to try to find out if there is a problem that's causing the miscarriages. And I don't know whether to avail myself of that opportunity or not.

Hoping to get other people's thoughts and, in so doing, help to straighten out my own jumbled thoughts.

TIA.

 

[sarahtar]

just to clarify my thinking so far - it would be good to know if there's a problem, it would be good to fix a problem if the fix is easy. (I mean, low progesterone = progesterone supplements, that's easy.)

but, if we're going to go that route, it would make the most sense to not get pregnant again while we wait for the results, it takes 3 weeks after blood is drawn, they'll draw blood 4-6 weeks after I stop bleeding from the m/c. that's 2-3 cycles they would be advising to not conceive.

and, i'm not sure how I feel about going in in the first place. part of me says I should just trust God with my fertility like I have been doing...and then another part of me says that I would go in for diagnosis if I was having, say, a kidney stone, a medical concern. And this is really no different. I trust God to take care of me, to heal my body, but I do recognize that sometimes He uses others to help with that process. (As an example, our midwife has given us an excellent natural iron supplement to help rebuild my blood.)

can you see the confusion? Thanks.

 

[Sabertooth]

There is nothing you can do to conceive apart from God. A defective reproductive system CAN be a hindrance to the process just defective eyes can hinder sight. If that be the case, it must first be restored either naturally or supernaturally.

When seeking the former, the only real concerns, IMHO, are effectiveness and safety [i.e. side effects]. If those are acceptable and there is no potential moral objections, like the termination of multiple zygotes in in vitro fertilization, you should feel free to take steps to improve your reproductive health.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Get medically checked and see what is going on.

 

[Assisi]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages! I know how painful losing a child can be.

I think your decision depends on the details of your beliefs about children, sex and health. Personally, hubby and I would never use IVF or GIFT to conceive - because our of our beliefs about sex, children and marriage. We believe that sex and children are intrinsically linked, just as sex and marital unity are intrinsically linked. We would not have sex while eliminating the possibility of conception, likewise we would not conceive outside of the marital embrace. We believe that our children have the right to be brought into the world through the physical expression of our love.

But a physical on me or my husband is a different matter. I do not believe that physical illness or injury is a personal punishment dished out by God, but rather that it is the result of the fallen world in which we live. If we have to bear with some kind of suffering (and miscarriages and infertility are severe suffering imo) then we should, but if the medicine exists which could help us to be healthier then we should accept that help.

If you've had two miscarriages in the past six months then you know you can conceive. It seems unlikely to me that they will find a problem with your fertility. What seems more likely to me is that they may find a reason why the miscarriages are happening. Say, for example, it is low progesterone - all you would be doing is taking a pill to help support the baby in your womb. You are not 'playing God' and deciding for yourself when you will be blessed, God will take care of that. All you are doing is taking a medicine which helps to give you a healthy pregnancy. I believe life begins at conception. So I would value the life of my unborn child as equal to that of a toddler or a school age child. If your three year old was sick with something that could be easily treated with some medicine - would you give that medicine? I would.

So now that you've had my novel I can say: I would get the tests done, before accepting the help I was offered, I'd look into any ethical dilemmas it could produce (eg multiple conception with recommended abortion is something I never want to face - I could never abort), if the treatment would only help my body and that of any unborn child who happened to come along then I would take that treatment.

After all, I take folic acid in the hope that it will help the health of any unborn child who happens to arrive...

 

[annaapple]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages! I know how painful losing a child can be.

I think your decision depends on the details of your beliefs about children, sex and health. Personally, hubby and I would never use IVF or GIFT to conceive - because our of our beliefs about sex, children and marriage. We believe that sex and children are intrinsically linked, just as sex and marital unity are intrinsically linked. We would not have sex while eliminating the possibility of conception, likewise we would not conceive outside of the marital embrace. We believe that our children have the right to be brought into the world through the physical expression of our love.

But a physical on me or my husband is a different matter. I do not believe that physical illness or injury is a personal punishment dished out by God, but rather that it is the result of the fallen world in which we live. If we have to bear with some kind of suffering (and miscarriages and infertility are severe suffering imo) then we should, but if the medicine exists which could help us to be healthier then we should accept that help.

If you've had two miscarriages in the past six months then you know you can conceive. It seems unlikely to me that they will find a problem with your fertility. What seems more likely to me is that they may find a reason why the miscarriages are happening. Say, for example, it is low progesterone - all you would be doing is taking a pill to help support the baby in your womb. You are not 'playing God' and deciding for yourself when you will be blessed, God will take care of that. All you are doing is taking a medicine which helps to give you a healthy pregnancy. I believe life begins at conception. So I would value the life of my unborn child as equal to that of a toddler or a school age child. If your three year old was sick with something that could be easily treated with some medicine - would you give that medicine? I would.

So now that you've had my novel I can say: I would get the tests done, before accepting the help I was offered, I'd look into any ethical dilemmas it could produce (eg multiple conception with recommended abortion is something I never want to face - I could never abort), if the treatment would only help my body and that of any unborn child who happened to come along then I would take that treatment.

After all, I take folic acid in the hope that it will help the health of any unborn child who happens to arrive...

What she said!

Getting tests done is not taking your fertility out of God's hands, it's just finding out what, if anything, might be wrong. How you act on the information is a whole other step, which you can prayerfully consider when that time comes.

Good luck! Hope you are blessed soon!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

wow, the answers so far are amazingly well said!
I can only say that you need to do as your faith dictates, for me a certain amount of fertility treatment was needed, but my DH and i were of the conviction that we cant 'force God's hand' by taking fertility help. My personal opinion is that knowledge about what is going on with your body/pregnancies is a good thing.

 

[jgonz]

My cousin and her DH went through something similar... They decided to keep waiting on G-d's timing and not go to the doctor. My cousin had the heartbreak of 15 miscarriages in a row, over a period of 8 years. They were a tad older (both waited for G-d choice of spouse and married in their early 30's), so they were antsy to have a baby. Finally, my cousin went to a fertility specialist. She was poked & prodded and they never could come up with a reason why she was getting pregnant but then miscarrying about 9- 12 weeks each time.

Finally, after much prayer, my cousin went to an Osteopathic doctor (similar to an MD, but a little more natural). After doing some basic tests on her Whole body, they determined she had 5 basic health problems. One of them was hypothyroidism (low thyroid function) which was causing her hormones to be out of whack. Another problem was that she was low progesterone, and so far no doctor had caught that. Another problem was that she was developing GD early early in her pregnancies, before normal, and that was contributing to her problems. I can't remember what the other 2 were now...

So, she went on progesterone supplements/shots, stayed on the GD diet all the time, took something for the thyroid situation, and took care of the other 2 things. The next pregnancy resulted in a healthy baby girl, who she had at home, in a wonderful homebirth. The next baby was born with a severe heart defect (totally unrelated to my cousin's health issues) and passed away at 6wks old. Then they had 2 more babies (both girls) in the next 3 years. She's now gone through menopause, so that was it... 3 living children. She would have had None if they'd not pursued her health issues.

I agree with the poster above me~ you can't "force" G-d's hand by taking fertility help. He is Still in charge, and you won't get pregnant no matter what you do, if it's not His timing, or in His will. But at least you'd have the knowledge of your Own health issues (if any). We Are, IMO, to be responsible for our health...

 

[FaithfulWife]

I would like to reiterate what so many of the loving sistahs have said here, as I agree with them. You can not have a child apart from God--no matter how you plan and how much you know about your fertility. But on the other hand, a little basic knowledge about the whole thing operates can make a big difference, and I personally do not believe it is stepping into God's role at all.

Speaking rather personally, my dear hubby and I are now 45 and 50...but we have always left it in God's hands as to "when" we would have a child. What I did discover though, as I grew older, my hormone levels and timings of things DID change. My progesterone levels were lower--and that's taking a pill or a cream! The timing of my ovulation got a bit later and that involved taking an herb. These are not things that DO or DO NOT create a child--they are things that help restore the natural balance of my body.

Finally, I will just say that whether or not you choose to have the blood work, just know that it takes only one perfect sperm and one perfect egg to unite at God's predestined time to create a child. If your body is naturally balanced--it may not be God's time! And if your body is 100yo and your wife is 99yo, God can still bless you with a child if that is His will--just ask Abraham and Sarah!

~~FaithfulWife

 

[teishpriest]

We lost two little ones before the birth of our DD. We did not choose to see an MD about fertility issues, but I did go to an ND (Naturopathic Doctor) becuause we suspected that my hormone levels were out of balance and causing other health problems as well as possibly being related to my miscarriages. At the time I worked for a wonderful Chiropractor who also did a lot with nutrition and he consulted with a nutrition specialist about my situation to find out if there was anything we could do to nutritionally "support" future pregnancies. These were good options I believe, since we were just trying to get my body in the best health possible, and not trying to "make" me able to carry a baby to term. In the end, when I finally was able to accept that it might not be God's will for me to ever have any children, that is when He blessed us with our daughter. Do keep in mind that it IS only God who has the power over our life and death. Seek Him and He will guide you.

 

[CarrieAg93]

I have a friend who had several miscarriages. She went through testing and found out that she had a blood clotting disorder that is treated by simply taking an aspirin every day. She now has 2 healthy children. The disorder is possibly life-threatening if she doesn't take the aspirin every day, but she never would have known had she not had the fertility issues. So I say get tested. If there is something wrong it could be affecting your health in other ways.