[Just to be clear, I'm single. So I haven't had the experience of being a parent. I am, however, a guy, and originally it looked like you'd find a guy's experience helpful. I've also worked for most of my life with middle-school age kids, although this isn't quite the sort of thing we normally deal with in Sunday School.]
Now is this because ( now I am assuming and I don't mean to offend anyone ) but would the number of times he has a wet dream be different if he is masturbating. The reason why I am saying this is I know with men, if men don't have sex for awhile, they [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] more so if he is masturbating often, will this limit his wet dreams.
This will certainly happen in some cases. I can't tell you whether it's always true. However I wouldn't draw conclusions from it. E.g. if you stop seeing any evidence in his bedding, I wouldn't make the assumption that he is masturbating. There's enough variability to make that kind of conclusion unsafe.
He does have a mentor, are you saying I should tell his mentor this and have him explain this to him. Again, I don't feel like a mom because I should be able to explain and talk about anything with my son.
I suggested talking to the mentor. I simply meant that if you need help trying to talk to your son about this, his mentor might be able to help you understand things from a guy's point of view and think about how to handle it. If you absolutely can't do it yourself, you could ask the mentor to do the whole thing, but I don't recommend that. I don't think that in the end you're going to be able to delegate everything sexually related to someone else, and you would probably be better off to start now.
It's better to ask the mentor to do it (or not talk at all) than to have a conversation that leaves your son feeling guilty and unable to talk with anyone. However I have confidence in you, that after the great advice you've gotten here, and possibly talking to others, you'll be able to talk to your son.
Now if I had a daughter, it would be no problem as we can compare tampons together LOL.
I understand. But there are clear analogies. I don't know whether your son will see them, but if you would talk with your daughter about your experience having your first period, you might consider doing so with your son as well. There are certainly differences in the plumbing, but (despite occasional impressions to the contrary), men and women are the same species, and have pretty much the same psychology and the same kinds of problems. Just as you're going to have to find a way to communicate with a son, if he's going to at some point have a girl friends and eventually a wife, he's going to have to find enough common ground to understand their experience and support them. And some day he may have to coach a daughter through puberty.
That's why I have more confidence in your ability to handle this than you did, at least when you started out the question. You're both human. I believe in the end you'll be able to cope with human experience and feelings, even if they're from a young man.
If you want to get theological, God didn't feel the need to send two separate saviors...
