Ptsd

[LovedSparrow]

I do have PTSD, too. Something while you're in school... something I've heard in my recovery group is to ask yourself- what day is it? Where am I? What class am I sitting in? What color shirt am I wearing? What time is it? How long before class ends?' Anything to bring you back to the present.

Good luck to you. As everyone has stated, learn as much as you can about it. And know, you are not alone in any sense. Sometimes it feels like we're aliens on a different planet at times, but you are not. We all feel similar things.

I'm glad you asked! This post is helpful for me, too.

 

[journey7]

I used to have PTSD, anxiety, and felt like I wanted to just crawl into a hole. I learned when there is trauma, a spirit of fear comes in and went thorugh deliverance and got free from it and don't have any problems today but I do remember those days and had to learn to breath.

When you go through a traumatic event, somehow it conditions you to not breath deep. So, when something similar would happen and I would panic, I would forget to breath but when I would breath deep, I would calm down. Otherwise, it only made things worse for me.

I don't know if anyone has ever noticed that they don't breath when a panic attack kicks in.

 

[cweinstein]

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2009. I still struggle with it from time to time, but it is getting better.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

God is still in control. I'll never be "normal" but that's OK. Things I want to talk about overwhelm most people around me because they have no reference point to understand how I feel. God uses all things for good for those that love and trust him. He provided miracle after miracle that saved my life when I was in my twenties. At the time my concept of Him was vague and my tiny faith couldn't explain or understand why He would go to such lengths for me. Years later, I'm beginning to see.

I'm pretty sure my experiences were different than yours but the continuous traumas conflicted with all I'd grown up believing. Life was not fair, just or even precious. People are generally self centered and don't want to touch anything, or anyone that makes them unconfortable. People will always fail our expectations, that's who we are. Only Jesus is truely faithful.

Life has become a process, not just a series of events. God took me through hell on earth and is using those experiences to drive me to Himself. Let Him hold you and change you.

Amen. Romans 8:28. Meanwhile, I breathe deeply and pray, when those memories flood my mind. Sometimes I even read scripture aloud.

 

[Emily99]

I have PTSD, too. I've found that talking about my traumas to my therapist helps a lot. Get out the smallest details, even. I know it's hard to go through it again, but it does help for me anyway. It seems that by talking about it, the power of the trauma is reduced. Also, when a memory starts in my mind, I put up a big STOP sign in my mind and force myself to get up and think of something else right away. Another good thing is to keep songs of praise going through your head during the day. Hope this helps. The Lord bless you and keep you.

 

[Daveptsd]

Staying Strong4Him - how are you doing? Comments have drifted off a little on this site. Wanted to let you know someone is still praying for you. You're not alone. You have worth, Jesus died for you. God is not bound by time like we are. He sees the worst of our lives. He sees how to use it for our good - allow Him. He already sees you at the end of His work in you - standing before Him in heaven. In His mercy and grace, I'm praying He lets you see yourself through His eyes.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I am still struggling. I am kind of frustrated with God right now.

 

[Emily99]

Strong4Him - I am still praying for you, too. Daveptsd, your prayer was so powerful. I read it before I went to bed last night, and it brought me to tears. Those of us with PTSD do struggle daily, and our support for each other is so important. Strong4him, try not to be frustrated with God. He will help you, and cover you with His hand in the cleft of the rock. I often feel that's where I am....just hanging on, but His love covers me and holds me. Reach out to Him with the sacrifice of your praise. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Daveptsd]

yeh - I always want things to happen more quickly, or more like I think they should. He never seems to take my advice very well, always acting like He knows better. If He'd just come and argue with me once and a while it'd be more fair. Sometimes I think He can't see what I'm going through or why is He letting this happen to me? He surely dosen't understand and feel things the way I do. I wouldn't let things happen like this if I were God. Maybe He just dosen't care the same way I do. Maybe I don't deserve special treatment for my situation. Why does He let evil things happen? ... There's a million variations.

It all comes down to He is God, and I am not. Sometimes I can accept it, sometimes I get frustrated. Through it all, He stays the same. His thoughts toward me are of good and not of evil.

Evil things happen because people were given a free will.

God wants us to love and trust Him with our free will.

I think we are here to learn how to do that - in the good times and the bad. I wish the bad times were painless, but it insures you'll never forget the lesson.

I heard a quote that's stuck with me - anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Hang in there.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

I just feel like God wasnt there for me when I needed Him most. I reached out...I called out to Him but I couldn't hear Him, I couldn't see Him, I couldn't feel Him.The PTSD is really getting to me lately. I had a horrible flashback last night, and when I fell asleep I then had a nightmare as well. It was a night of much tossing and turning and it was anything but restful sleep.

 

[Emily99]

Those are the times when the Lord is carrying you. He is with you always. I have had bad flashbacks and difficult sleep lately, too. I got up at 3:00 this morning. I don't know why we have to go through these things. I am your sister in the Lord, and I am praying for you. Together we have strength. I pray for peace for both of us right now; that these horrible images and thoughts would leave our minds and that you Lord would give us rest and allow us to sit beside the still waters. Amen.

 

[Daveptsd]

Wish there were some magic words to make you feel better and take away the images that bring terror to you. I wish we could somehow turn on a switch that brings Jesus to our immediate rescue like we want Him to. I wish He would invade our emotions and cause peace to push out everything else. I wish He would heal us of all of this. I'd like to make Him do that, but I can't.

Unfortunately you're suffering like many of us. I know that doesn't make it easier. Others are lifting you up right now.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

At least I don't feel so alone in this anymore. I can feel God with me now and I know He was there with me in that moment that I was raped. It's because God is with me that I can get through this. Thank you very much for lifting me up in prayer. Please continue to pray for me.

 

[Emily99]

Hello again, Staying Strong4Him. I'm so glad you posted again and mentioned what you are being tormented with. It is the same event for me. I keep remembering more details and I can't get it out of my mind. It happened to me when I was 15, and I was a virgin. I was afraid to tell my mom when it happened, because I thought she wouldn't believe me. I figured I would be the only one who knew about it, and that it would just fade away. Then I found out I was pregnant. Now, no one would believe me, and my grandfather had a huge stream of names he called me and told me no man would ever want me. I thought my life was ruined and my family deserted me. I gave up my daughter for adoption. I have since found her, and she has been a blessing to me. God always has a way of working things out. The hardest thing for me to do was forgive the rapist. I still have to tell the Lord that I forgive him again. Yes, the Lord was with you then, and He is with you now. I will keep praying for you! He gives us:

beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the
garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that we might be called trees of righteousness

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

It happened to me when I was 16. I didn't tell anyone for 10 months...I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't go through it alone anymore. So I told someone I trusted and went through reporting what happened. It was awful. Going through reporting it was almost just as bad as going through it. I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I have feelings very similar to what you have felt. I still find it really hard to forgive the rapist. Please keep praying for me.

 

[Emily99]

I willl keep praying for you. What I am dealing with now, and maybe you are too, is the act itself. The horror, the pain and feelings of desperation and degredation are what we are left with. It's hard for me to see myself as Jesus sees me -- covered by His blood and righteousness. Shame. Why must WE feel the shame? Sometimes all I can do is say the name of Jesus over and over. Believe me, I understand your pain. Lord Jesus, I lift my sister and myself up to you right now. We agree in prayer that you will cover us with your peace, and give us strength to forgive. Wash us once again, white as snow, remove our shame, and let us feel your joy in abundance. Set us free, Lord. Let us rejoyce in your loving kindness and send your angels to comfort us. Release us from these feelings of violation, Lord, and renew our bodies, minds and spirits. We will give you the praise and glory, Lord Jesus, that we might be a light to others. Thank you our precious Lord, Amen.

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

Yeah I do feel a lot of shame and the act itself is just terrifying and horrific. I've been thinking about maybe going back to that spot to face it....but I don't know if I can face going back there.

 

[Emily99]

I think you may be too sensitive to go back there right now. You're still in PTSD flashback mode, at least that's the way it sounds to me. When and if you do ever go back, be sure that you don't go alone and be prepared to have that person pray with you while you're there. You don't want to give the enemy a stronghold, or make your flashbacks become worse. Be very gentle with yourself right now. I understand the urge to go, though. I have done this with other traumas in my life. It was hard to do, but I think in the long run it helped. It made the place seem like just any other place, and it didn't have a hold on me anymore. For you, please wait for the right time, which is not now. (((((HUGS)))))

 

[STAYING_STRONG4HIM]

yeah now is not the time. But I'm thinking in the future that I may want to go back there...just so it doesn't have a hold on me anymore. Right now is certainly not the time though. I'm not strong enough yet. I had to go back about a year ago and that was horrible....I didn't go back to the exact spot but just that park that it happened at. And I definitely will not go back alone. I only have the urge to go because I don't want this to have a hold on me...but at the same time I purposely avoid even driving by it.

 

[Emily99]

Good. I'm glad you're going to wait. Was the man ever caught? If not, I hope he will be. I can't imagine how awful it must have been for you to report it. You are a very strong person, more than you realize. I can't even live in the same town where it happened to me. I moved to the southwest. Keep talking to me if you can. I think the more you get out the better you will feel. Bye for now. ((((BIG HUGS))))