Ok, so it was December 2000, and I was into all kinds of wrong things. Mostly smoking alot of pot. In fact, I had been smoking everyday for about three years, so it wasn't a new thing.
I was into paganism and witchcraft. I wasn't a bad person, I didn't worship the Enemy, I reverred nature, I was in tune with energies, I meditated, I worked with crystals, I practiced astral projection, I practiced 'magick', but only to do good things.
I'd learned a little about Christianity, I wasn't sure if I believed, but if I did believe I was angry at God. Life wasn't fun. I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't having a good time, and I blamed God for that.
I only tell you that because it's important to lay some background information. I was a good person with a good heart, caught up in the wrong things. Unfortunately, those wrong things got the better of me and I fell. Hard. And Far.
When I was stoned, I'd get this whisper. I kept getting stoned, and the whisper got louder. I kept getting stoned, and the whisper got clearer. Two weeks since it was a whisper it had become a clear hissing voice....
"I'm possesing you."
To say I freaked out is an understatement. I had totally slipped from reality, and now I had a demon trying to posess me. I told my girlfriend about it, (she was into paganism), and she tried to help, but she lived overseas and there was little she could do. I didn't want professional help.
The next few weeks are kind of a blur as is the sequence of events, perhaps thats for the best; I had this voice constantly, EVERY waking moment. I suffered nightmares and then I'd wake up and hear:
"What did you dream about? Haha..."
I shudder just thinking about it. I ended up in church on Christmas Eve, convinced I was going to die 5 hours later. Priests sat with me, blessed me, talked to me while I literally trembled with fear and cried and all kinds of 'external' thoughts had come into my head.
I needed something to help me through. A miracle. I prayed, hard, every night.
A month later, all traces of anything ever happened were gone. No voice, no nothing. I hadn't seeked professional help. I'd been to church a few times and spoken to the priests some more. Slowly, it faded away and I never smoked pot again.
God had touched me.... but it took me a over a year to realise it. Imagine that, a whole eighteen months without even realising that it was God who gave me the strength to pull through, who picked me up and carried me through that time. Ever read Footprints? Just like the guy in the story, I thought I'd walked it alone when truthfully, I was carried.
During that time I did educate myself in Christianity, I didn't apply it to myself, but I learned about Christians. And then God's almighty finger touched me again and showed me that it was Him who had helped me. And so I believed and accepted Christ into my heart.
Six months later God really started to make His presence known in my life. I felt better. Life tasted better. I was really really happy, and very excited to know Jesus! I wanted more, and began to grow and grow until here I am today..
And dat's it.
-x-
Edit: I take that back about my girlfriend at the time being able to do little. She did a LOT in helping me pray and feel safe at the time. We talked on the phone everyday and she was totally a pillar of strength for me.
I was into paganism and witchcraft. I wasn't a bad person, I didn't worship the Enemy, I reverred nature, I was in tune with energies, I meditated, I worked with crystals, I practiced astral projection, I practiced 'magick', but only to do good things.
I'd learned a little about Christianity, I wasn't sure if I believed, but if I did believe I was angry at God. Life wasn't fun. I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't having a good time, and I blamed God for that.
I only tell you that because it's important to lay some background information. I was a good person with a good heart, caught up in the wrong things. Unfortunately, those wrong things got the better of me and I fell. Hard. And Far.
When I was stoned, I'd get this whisper. I kept getting stoned, and the whisper got louder. I kept getting stoned, and the whisper got clearer. Two weeks since it was a whisper it had become a clear hissing voice....
"I'm possesing you."
To say I freaked out is an understatement. I had totally slipped from reality, and now I had a demon trying to posess me. I told my girlfriend about it, (she was into paganism), and she tried to help, but she lived overseas and there was little she could do. I didn't want professional help.
The next few weeks are kind of a blur as is the sequence of events, perhaps thats for the best; I had this voice constantly, EVERY waking moment. I suffered nightmares and then I'd wake up and hear:
"What did you dream about? Haha..."
I shudder just thinking about it. I ended up in church on Christmas Eve, convinced I was going to die 5 hours later. Priests sat with me, blessed me, talked to me while I literally trembled with fear and cried and all kinds of 'external' thoughts had come into my head.
I needed something to help me through. A miracle. I prayed, hard, every night.
A month later, all traces of anything ever happened were gone. No voice, no nothing. I hadn't seeked professional help. I'd been to church a few times and spoken to the priests some more. Slowly, it faded away and I never smoked pot again.
God had touched me.... but it took me a over a year to realise it. Imagine that, a whole eighteen months without even realising that it was God who gave me the strength to pull through, who picked me up and carried me through that time. Ever read Footprints? Just like the guy in the story, I thought I'd walked it alone when truthfully, I was carried.
During that time I did educate myself in Christianity, I didn't apply it to myself, but I learned about Christians. And then God's almighty finger touched me again and showed me that it was Him who had helped me. And so I believed and accepted Christ into my heart.
Six months later God really started to make His presence known in my life. I felt better. Life tasted better. I was really really happy, and very excited to know Jesus! I wanted more, and began to grow and grow until here I am today..
And dat's it.
-x-
Edit: I take that back about my girlfriend at the time being able to do little. She did a LOT in helping me pray and feel safe at the time. We talked on the phone everyday and she was totally a pillar of strength for me.
