protecting my kids from difficult family

[Shinsull]

I have two kids, 4 and 6. I am newly Christian in the last 5years and I want to do my best in bringing up my kids in an honourable way with what I have learnt and what im learning from Gods word. We are the only one in our extended family who are of faith.
We were at a family gathering yesterday with cousins from age 9 to 23. We visit them possibly twice a year. it is my husbands brothers family. They have always been a crude family and we have just accepted that thats how they live and they are probally not even aware of themselves being disrepectful as this is what they are use to.
Every second word out of their mouths was a curse , from the youngest child to the parents. EVERYTHING they said or anything others said was turned into an inuendo. They insult each other constently and mock and laugh at others thinking its funny. They use sex slang which my 6year old was asking what does that mean.
I was sitting there looking at my kids giving them the eyes of "dont repeat anything you hear here today".
I couldn't wait to leave but today iv got such mom guilt of did i do the right thing.
They are family and we only see them twice a year, is it more important for my kids to spend time with their cousins and have the talk after about don't repeat any rude things you heard? They are family at the end of the day, they are not bad people they just grew up different and don't know any better.
Or because my kids are so young and impressionable, they heard words and phrases they never heard before yesterday should we keep our distance from them to protect my kids from that.
You'd think the easy thing to do is to keep the distance but how can you get out of visiting less then twice a year!

 

[tturt]

Welcome to CF.

Unfortunately, we can't protect our children 100%. Someone they pass in a grocery aisle or fellow students if they're in child care could be using the same words.

What are your husband's thoughts? He was around them. How did he keep from following their example?

Maybe your husband could talk with the leader alone and express concerns. Preface it with the importance of being with family. Or at the get together, your family could physically move when their language gets offensive to a different group - even if you have to move several times. Or use humor to make your point.

I'm sure you've explained the importance to the kids.

Above asks the Lord how He wants you to respond.

 

[SkyWriting]

I have two kids, 4 and 6. I am newly Christian in the last 5years and I want to do my best in bringing up my kids in an honourable way with what I have learnt and what im learning from Gods word. We are the only one in our extended family who are of faith.
We were at a family gathering yesterday with cousins from age 9 to 23. We visit them possibly twice a year. it is my husbands brothers family. They have always been a crude family and we have just accepted that thats how they live and they are probally not even aware of themselves being disrepectful as this is what they are use to.
Every second word out of their mouths was a curse , from the youngest child to the parents. EVERYTHING they said or anything others said was turned into an inuendo. They insult each other constently and mock and laugh at others thinking its funny. They use sex slang which my 6year old was asking what does that mean.
I was sitting there looking at my kids giving them the eyes of "dont repeat anything you hear here today".
I couldn't wait to leave but today iv got such mom guilt of did i do the right thing.
They are family and we only see them twice a year, is it more important for my kids to spend time with their cousins and have the talk after about don't repeat any rude things you heard? They are family at the end of the day, they are not bad people they just grew up different and don't know any better.
Or because my kids are so young and impressionable, they heard words and phrases they never heard before yesterday should we keep our distance from them to protect my kids from that.
You'd think the easy thing to do is to keep the distance but how can you get out of visiting less then twice a year!

You are experiencing the best of all possible situations. They are family and you love them as family and they have social flaws. They think of you just the same way. It's the perfect lesson. Though I have to say, my parents never have said one word about the failings of our relatives. They speak about them as any person speaks about a person. The correct attitude around such people is that you respect them, as peers. I guess what my parents taught me is - "It is, what it is." And as relatives, we cut them more slack than usual.

 

[timf]

Explain to your children that some people do not have much self-control. As a result, they tend to express whatever the feel and are sort of "brute beasts". While they are good examples, they are not examples of good.

This can help illustrate why they are disciplined so that they will learn self-discipline and be able to have better lives than ones given over to coarseness.