Problem with a girl with borderline

[Genocyber]

Its not a problem anymore

 

[Frank White]

I understand you. That is often the case.

 

[marleyhill]

Yeah. Just one problem? You need to be strong yourself in order to handle us Borderlines aka emotionally unstable personality disordered. Having a relationship, romantic, maternal, paternal, platonic, work colleague, medical, therapeutic or social with an emotionally unstable person is exhausting and you need expert help. We need something I like to call "structured flexibility" or as the DBTs would say radical acceptance. It's like you need a 12 step program on how to handle and deal with borderlines/emotionally unstable. understand, accept, separate, affirm, witness, regulate, validate, acknowledge, empathise, monitor and review oh and occasionally disengage when it gets really bad to protect yourself and give them a chance to calm down without outside interference. Only strong family and friends and professionals can do this on a cyclic basis. Most people go straight to disengage. Lol!

 

[Genocyber]

Lol, from yoru answer it seems like the best solution would be a 12 gauge to the head or a bloody butcher knife

 

[marleyhill]

I'm not sure that would be the best solution. Besides as a borderline/emotionally unstable, I have to talk myself out of suicide every month if not every week or day when it's really bad. I guess I've had experience with my father who had/has severe mood swings, paranoia and is an alcoholic for about 18 years. I got married at 29 he still tried to pull me from a moving car which my new husband was driving, the day after my wedding. It would have been a terrible accident and I don't think the family would have forgiven him. I now understand my dad and feel a little sorry for him but I'm still aware that he caused significant trauma in my childhood to make me emotionally unstable as an adult. I can try to protect myself now from him but as a child I didn't have a chance to develop emotionally in a rational way.

 

[johnandtraci]

I hav bpd and i know it can b hell to deal w. we dont want to lose anyone!!!! The fear of aloneness and the feeling of being defective. wow! You had to let go, hope she gets the healing she needs. i firmly believe that this is a childhood thang that only God can get to that deep pain. but whatta i know? bless ya!

 

[Genocyber]

I understand people, thanks for the responses i know its very hard and complicated to deal with those things

 

[hjs]

The Lord Jesus is the answer for everything. Any problem that is causing destruction in your life needs to be dealt with. If you have a weakness that is a good character builder and doesn't make you arrogant, that may be a good thing. People know when they are in bondage and when they are just dealing with something that is a weakness that is just part of life. We have flaws, we need people to help us, we can't have it all together or we wouldn't need Jesus. People don't go to Jesus generally when they have everything working out in their lives. That is the human race for you. People are selfish! But if you are in bondage, and you feel like you cannot get up from under it-whether you are dealing with depression, narcissism, obsessive compulsive disorders, etc-you need to get rid of these things with the help of the Lord Jesus Christ.These things are not character builders and they destroy people. Therefore, you need to be released. The only way is through Christ alone. Go to Christ and He will help you. You also need fellowship with other Christians who will be there for you. Sometimes they are hard to find, but you have to be persistant and not give up with this. Reading the bible, and listening to Christian music is so healing. I mean demons flee at these things.

 

[hjs]

Marleyhill,

Please never give in to suicide. ITs not worth it! Please don't. Whenever you have these thoughts, ask the Lord to help you in Jesus Christ name! Call out to Him loudly and say it loudly. The demons want you to hurt yourself, and Satan's ultimate goal is to get people to kill themselves. When you are feeling overwhelmed emotionally, go immediately to the Lord. If it helps to call a Christian, call him or her. Do something. Get out of the house. Ask the Lord to sanctify your home, and make it a home dedicated to the Lord. You are valued by the Lord. Even if you don't have friends or not many friends, the Lord just loves you, loves you, loves you. You are precious to Him, and it grieves Him when you are hurting. Please just go to Him. Don't let the feelings overwhelm you no matter how strong. Recite scripture. learn scripture and recite it when you start feeling these things. sometimes its just nice to learn scripture and recite it anyway. Learning scripture does wonders for your heart and soul. It is so healing, and wonderful. God bless you in your life. You are loved.