I became a Christian quite a few years back following an experience I had of God whilst serving a prison sentence for attempted robbery. I was 23 years old and the only thing I had succeeded in doing with my life up to that point was amass 35 criminal convictions for various things like burglary, assault and theft. I messed about with drugs, I was often homeless and always fighting I really didn’t care what I did. I’d left home when I was 16 years old as I wasn’t happy there. I had no self worth and could never look people in the eye for fear they would see there was nothing on the inside. Because I felt worthless I and was always looking for something to gain acceptance even if it wasn’t for something very good.
With just 5 weeks left of the sentence I started to have some sort of breakdown, it wasn’t prison because that was easy and it wasn’t the first time inside. It was more like flash backs of my family life and a load of anguish that I just couldn’t deal with. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly. I went to see a prison chaplain but he said I was just growing up. Eventually with no one else to turn to I wrote to my mum and I told her I was sorry for making such a mess of things and that I loved her and needed her and could she come to see me. It took a lot of attempts to write the letter but when I finally did and posted it in the little prison post box I felt like a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I went back to my cell and whilst waiting for a reply I picked a book up that was on the floor and started to read it. It was about so called prophets with some end of the world prophesies, people like Nostradamus and Jean Dixon were mentioned but the one that stood out to me was the story of Joan of Ark and how God spoke to her. I wondered if it was true that God could speak to you and almost immediately I sensed that He was! Other books started to appear as I was moved from one cell to another that were all on the same theme and some even had Bible quotes in them and the sense of a presence grew and grew. I got hold of a Bible and the words started to leap out at me and at the same time I became conscious that there was a some kind of fight going on between this God and His army whoever He was and another force that was opposing Him. It was an amazing feeling being a nobody in prison with God Almighty Himself fighting for me and I still didn't know who He was or what He wanted. I couldn't speak to anyone they’ would think I’d gone mad have put me in the prison hospital. This God told me some amazing things over the next few days about time and the future that were mind blowing to me but when I came to read about Jesus I thought he was just a man who talked a lot about himself. For some reason it just didn't click with me who He really was and I closed the Bible and looked elsewhere for this God. Things then started to settled down. I got a letter back from mum saying it wasn't a good time but that didn't matter anymore. I finished my sentence reading all kinds of weird stuff but I knew when I got out I would find out who this God was. It was a mad experience but I knew someone would be able to make sense of it. I knew a guy who had been in a gang I had who had become a Christian and so went to see him. He introduced me to a really nice couple who went to the same church he went to. They seem to know exactly what had happened and told me it was in fact the very same Jesus that I had rejected who had come to visit me in prison and that He wanted me to give my life to Him so He could sort it out. It all made a lot more sense and I made a simple prayer and gave Jesus my life. Within a month I was living with the same couple who just happened to be x coppers and stayed with them for the next 3 years, I can tell you it wasn't easy for them because I wasn't very civilized and I found it difficult to trust people but they preserved and taught me a lot.
I wish I could tell you my life has been a great success since then and everything has been a bed of roses but I can’t. There have been some incredibly difficult times and I have gone down some paths I know I shouldn't have but there is no doubt Jesus turned my life around. He has always been there for me, always ready to forgive me no matter what I've done and He is always ready to fight my corner and let me know just how much He values me like He did all those years ago in prison.
With just 5 weeks left of the sentence I started to have some sort of breakdown, it wasn’t prison because that was easy and it wasn’t the first time inside. It was more like flash backs of my family life and a load of anguish that I just couldn’t deal with. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly. I went to see a prison chaplain but he said I was just growing up. Eventually with no one else to turn to I wrote to my mum and I told her I was sorry for making such a mess of things and that I loved her and needed her and could she come to see me. It took a lot of attempts to write the letter but when I finally did and posted it in the little prison post box I felt like a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I went back to my cell and whilst waiting for a reply I picked a book up that was on the floor and started to read it. It was about so called prophets with some end of the world prophesies, people like Nostradamus and Jean Dixon were mentioned but the one that stood out to me was the story of Joan of Ark and how God spoke to her. I wondered if it was true that God could speak to you and almost immediately I sensed that He was! Other books started to appear as I was moved from one cell to another that were all on the same theme and some even had Bible quotes in them and the sense of a presence grew and grew. I got hold of a Bible and the words started to leap out at me and at the same time I became conscious that there was a some kind of fight going on between this God and His army whoever He was and another force that was opposing Him. It was an amazing feeling being a nobody in prison with God Almighty Himself fighting for me and I still didn't know who He was or what He wanted. I couldn't speak to anyone they’ would think I’d gone mad have put me in the prison hospital. This God told me some amazing things over the next few days about time and the future that were mind blowing to me but when I came to read about Jesus I thought he was just a man who talked a lot about himself. For some reason it just didn't click with me who He really was and I closed the Bible and looked elsewhere for this God. Things then started to settled down. I got a letter back from mum saying it wasn't a good time but that didn't matter anymore. I finished my sentence reading all kinds of weird stuff but I knew when I got out I would find out who this God was. It was a mad experience but I knew someone would be able to make sense of it. I knew a guy who had been in a gang I had who had become a Christian and so went to see him. He introduced me to a really nice couple who went to the same church he went to. They seem to know exactly what had happened and told me it was in fact the very same Jesus that I had rejected who had come to visit me in prison and that He wanted me to give my life to Him so He could sort it out. It all made a lot more sense and I made a simple prayer and gave Jesus my life. Within a month I was living with the same couple who just happened to be x coppers and stayed with them for the next 3 years, I can tell you it wasn't easy for them because I wasn't very civilized and I found it difficult to trust people but they preserved and taught me a lot.
I wish I could tell you my life has been a great success since then and everything has been a bed of roses but I can’t. There have been some incredibly difficult times and I have gone down some paths I know I shouldn't have but there is no doubt Jesus turned my life around. He has always been there for me, always ready to forgive me no matter what I've done and He is always ready to fight my corner and let me know just how much He values me like He did all those years ago in prison.
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