Priest refuses confession?

[Canadian75]

but maybe the priest is getting impatient

Quite possible, he is quite busy.

Are you sure you need to confess?

Yes.

What's driving you to this act; a genuine concern for the consciousness of sin and a need for mercy, or a frivolous and compulsive addiction?

I am in no way addicted to confession. If I'm addicted to anything it would be sin. I am driven by, in your words, "a genuine conern for the consciousness of sin and a need for mercy." I am disgusted by my sin and repent regularly. And when it comes to grave sin, I understand and respect the need to sacramentally confess my (grave) sins.

And no, I don't take anything you posted personally.

Peace.

 

[WhoeverLovesGod01]

Have you tried praying on your own when the Priest is not avaliable?

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

The opening post sounds like me. I wonder if I am obsessing about sins?

 

[seebs]

The opening post sounds like me. I wonder if I am obsessing about sins?

It's not unheard of to obsess about things. I'm very curious about how people deal with confession. How do you figure out what you did to confess? I think a lot of the benefit to you comes from trying to understand your own sins; I think that, without the attempt to name your own sins, it's hard to get a handle on them sometimes. But... It is possible to become a bit of a moral hypochondriac, no?

 

[D'Ann]

Canadian 75,

I had gone to confession at a parish in another town and normally we confess to Fr. Altier and he is an excellent priest to confess your sins to by the way. But this one time, we were a bit late and Fr. Altier's line was very long and I was afride that I wouldn't have enough time to make my confession of my sins... So, there was another priest that was receiving confessions and his line was very short. Thus, now I know why... He was very crabby and strict. I prayed for him and myself too. I think some priests are tired and overexhausted and perhaps in some cases could be somewhat burnt out on confession. Oh some priests are perhaps a bit impatient or maybe we as confessors are a bit crabby or impatient or burnt out too...LOL .

My advice to you is continue looking for a priest that you feel comfortable with. Confess to a father who is compassionate and caring and gives you good direction and guidance, i.e.. advice. We must pray for those who are in the service of Jesus. I would think being a priest or nun would be very draining emotionally and spiritually.

God's Peace,

Debbie

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

Saw this in someone's quote box...

"Listen to your Priest - he is your spiritual father."

I guess I can listen to my priest who tells me that contraception should be a matter of serious reflection and following my conscience due to circumstances beyond my control.

Woot!

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

"It's not unheard of to obsess about things."

Well, I do have OCDish mental problems for which I take meds.

"I'm very curious about how people deal with confession. How do you figure out what you did to confess? I think a lot of the benefit to you comes from trying to understand your own sins; I think that, without the attempt to name your own sins, it's hard to get a handle on them sometimes. But... It is possible to become a bit of a moral hypochondriac, no?"

It is absolutely possible to become a moral hypochondriac. Some think that is why Luther ultimately rebelled. He couldn't "feel" forgiven through confession to a priest.

 

[tjboie2001]

Wow this just became out of my league since last night.

 

[seebs]

I am often struck by how large the gap between my conscience and another person's can be. There have been threads here that left me reeling, feeling like I'd just been beaten up pretty badly, barely able to see straight for the pain of it, wondering how anyone could say such things. But there are things that bother other people immensely that I don't even notice.

But... In the end, all you can do is trust God, and we're told He gave you a conscience. (He even gave you a priest to help interpret, which is really quite thoughtful. Make sure to send a nice thank-you note.)

Scruples can be dangerous, or they can be a warning sign that something's bugging your conscience and you haven't figured it out yet.

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

I am often struck by how large the gap between my conscience and another person's can be. There have been threads here that left me reeling, feeling like I'd just been beaten up pretty badly, barely able to see straight for the pain of it, wondering how anyone could say such things. But there are things that bother other people immensely that I don't even notice.

But... In the end, all you can do is trust God, and we're told He gave you a conscience. (He even gave you a priest to help interpret, which is really quite thoughtful. Make sure to send a nice thank-you note.)

Scruples can be dangerous, or they can be a warning sign that something's bugging your conscience and you haven't figured it out yet.

Indeed, that is why we have a priest and a Church to form our consciences appropriately. It is far to easy to lie to oneself.

 

[Rising_Suns]

Canadian75,
It sounds to me like you see how powerful the sacrament of confession truly is, and you are taking full advantage of it. I only pray that I could have that much faith in this Tradition as you do. Many of the saints were very devoted to going to Confession on a daily basis, so it is not a bad thing to be so devoted. But there also needs to be a balance in your life. For example, do you place the same amount of faith in the Eucharist?

Although the saints were dedicated to Confession, their dedication reflected in *every* aspect of their lives; they were balanced. You must make sure you are balanced as well.

How devoted are you to Our Lady? I would take Plainswolf's advice and begin saying the rosary on a regular basis.

Do you go to daily Mass?

How often do you sit in silence, and listen to the stillness of your heart?

How often do you take your mind off the world and meditate on the love of Christ?

Try to round out and complete your Catholic faith and bring other areas in your life up to par with your dedication to Confession.

May the Lord give you His peace!

-Davide

it is a common practice for Priests to tell those who suffer from scrupulocity to only confess mortal sins.

Listen to your Priest - he is your spiritual father.

Blessed Sister Faustina criticized such priests who fall into the habit of claiming "scrupulocity" too easily; of minimizing the need to confess certain sins. We always have to remember; what may *seem* trivial on the outside, could in fact be quite notable and grave to the person on the inside.

Some priests fall into this trap, as sister Faustina notes. And it's no surprise considering how overworked they are today.

.

 

[bigsierra]

Isn't the desire to go to confession almost the same as having gone, if ability to confess is hampered by outside circumstances?

1484 "Individual, integral confession and absolution remain the only ordinary way for the faithful to reconcile themselves with God and the Church, unless physical or moral impossibility excuses from this kind of confession." There are profound reasons for this. Christ is at work in each of the sacraments. He personally addresses every sinner: "My son, your sins are forgiven." He is the physician tending each one of the sick who need him to cure them. He raises them up and reintegrates them into fraternal communion. Personal confession is thus the form most expressive of reconciliation with God and with the Church.

Since you can't and don't control the priest, it's outside your ability to make happen in the time frame you would wish.
If you go to daily mass, shouldn't there be confession times offered before and possibly after mass?

 

[lovemysoldier]

I loved the post mentioning balance in life. That is so true. Unfortunately, sin knocks us off balance, so if you feel the need to cleanse yourself and make yourself right with God, turn to Him in prayer. While priests are great blessings for our spiritual growth, Jesus is the ultimate high priest and He has a 24/7 open door policy. If your priest is unable to hear you, don't fret because God is never too busy to listen to His children. Learn to balance priestly confession with your relationship with God and your spiritual journey. If you find yourself hopelessly falling into sin, alter your lifestyle so it is impossible to support it. Turn to God whenever temptation rears it's ugly head. Pray to God to forgive you of your sins and to help you turn from it. Pray a silent prayer, read the bible, arm yourself with God's word and His truth. Submit yourself to God and let Him take over. You can do it but only with God's grace. Don't rely on will-power to overcome sin. You need God-power.

 

[Raist3001]

I was wondering if you could interpret this for me. I had an appointment with my confessor and he called and cancelled the appt. and said the reason was I was confessing too often and was a little too scrupulous. I felt as if I committed a mortal sin that needed confessing. He is my regular confessor and knew what I was going to confess ('cause I confess this sin often). He is aware of all extenuating circumstances connected with my sin. He doesn't believe that I need to come to confession. Am I being too scrupulous in worrying about this? Should I understand that the priest is telling me that what I did was not in fact a mortal sin, but a venial sin?

I'm confused.

A priest should NEVER refuse a confession. I have had this happen to me twice. In both cases, I reported the situation to the Pastor. Reconciliation with God is one of the most important jobs of a priest. Speak to your pastor, and if he is your pastor, speak to the Bishop. There is never a time that Jesus would tell us enough is enough. His mercy is limitless. I too suffer with a sin that I confess weekly. I am sure the priest knows what I will confess before I confess. And it certainly is difficult for me to do so each week. As I know it must be hard for you. God loves you my friend, and know that even though the priest refused your confession, your sins were forgiven you. Read my signature. I hope it helps.

God bless

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

We must remember Conession isn't merely a "getting things off your chest" kind of thing--- there is serious POWER in the sacrament. There is very real grace that flows from this gift of the Church that enables us to overcome habitual sin, to decrease our attatchments for sin, to better reflect the love of Christ in our lives.

People often focus to much on the confessing part--- God is all-knowing- he already knows what we've done wrong. God is all loving- we can never be outside of His love. Confession is a means for us to grow in perfection to better see how great our need is for Jesus and to change, in a very fundamental way, our dispositions to embrace more fully the Christian vocation.

Canadian as I said before- I recommend finding Opus Dei or Regnum Christi in your area and ask someone who they recommend as a regular confessor and/or spiritual director. If a priest knows you are in mortal sin and still won't hear your confession- that is very telling about his attitudes about this forgotten and neglected sacrament, in my opinion. I understand that priests are busy, but a confession need not take more than a few minutes- certainly no more than a quarter of an hour. Many priests received poor formation and primarly see confession as a means of asuaging guilt as opposed to enabling one to "go and sin no more".

A little tidbit to reflect on-- from Romans 8: 38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus."

Even our gravest sins cannot put us outside God's love for us. We needn't even be outside God's mercy when we do fall into sin- we need merely to make an act of perfect contrition (that means we are sorry because of how we have hurt Our Lord with our sin- as opposed to being sorry because we are fearful of not going to heaven) and vow to confess sacramentally as soonn as we are able. If we do those two things- the life of the soul is restored- though we still must not receive the Eucharist until we confess sacramentally. But there is NO REASON AT ALL to remain discouraged or disheartened-- that is merely pride in disguise. God is merciful love- we were created to be happy with Him in heaven forever after knowing, loving and serving HIm in this world. Jesus is not just waiting and watching for us to screw p so He can send us to Hell-- He desires that all be with Him forever!

 

[Cosmic Charlie]

Perhaps "addicted" was the wrong word. Though off of the top of my head, I cannot think of a better one. I tend to get too legalistic and it becomes a barrier in my life. I tend to become so concerned about every little thing I do that it impedes in my everyday life (ie. this issue has been on my mind constantly all day and I've not accomplished much work today). The priest, I think, is trying to prevent me from using confession as a crutch for every sin I do.



Nice observation, but I've been there, done that. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and panic disorder by a psychiatrist and a therapist suggests I have a touch of OCD. So yeah, I've got issues.

"Been there, done that ?". You've been diagnosed by a trained medical profession with not one but two and possibly three major psychatic disorders all of which require lifelong medical attention and the best thing you can come up with is that you have "issues" ?

Look, everyone on this thread is basically enabling you so forgive me for being blunt. Mental illness kills 20% of the people afflected with it. It severely disables over 60%. That's one person is five dead and over 1 in 2 unable to function.

I think its time to get serious about controlling this disease before it takes total control of you. Feeding your appetite for obsession be that obession guilt or the obessive desire to be relieved of that guilt can't be a good idea.

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

"I think its time to get serious about controlling this disease before it takes total control of you. Feeding your appetite for obsession be that obession guilt or the obessive desire to be relieved of that guilt can't be a good idea."

Good advice. I think I could have died at one point in my life.

 

[geocajun]

Blessed Sister Faustina criticized such priests who fall into the habit of claiming "scrupulocity" too easily; of minimizing the need to confess certain sins. We always have to remember; what may *seem* trivial on the outside, could in fact be quite notable and grave to the person on the inside.

Some priests fall into this trap, as sister Faustina notes. And it's no surprise considering how overworked they are today.

.

true, but on the other hand, some Priests are really wise, and are charged with being spiritual fathers. I think we should give the Priest the benefit of the doubt here... he knows her sins, and he knows how frequently she confesses them. Its not prudent on our part to be assuming so much about the priests reasons.
She should follow the advice of her spiritual father.

 

[Canadian75]

"Been there, done that ?". You've been diagnosed by a trained medical profession with not one but two and possibly three major psychatic disorders all of which require lifelong medical attention and the best thing you can come up with is that you have "issues" ?

Look, everyone on this thread is basically enabling you so forgive me for being blunt. Mental illness kills 20% of the people afflected with it. It severely disables over 60%. That's one person is five dead and over 1 in 2 unable to function.

I think its time to get serious about controlling this disease before it takes total control of you. Feeding your appetite for obsession be that obession guilt or the obessive desire to be relieved of that guilt can't be a good idea.

I don't mean to minimalize my condition or anyone else's. I am very conscious of the statistics, however, and it is not a pleasant picture. I have just reached a point where I had to accept who I am and what I have. It is a part of me, and through therapy, I have realized that it has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. It only got worse as I got older and manifested itself strongly as the stress of adult life wore on me. I am married, have three kids, and have been working on a BA for 6 years now.
As for treatment, I have been on every class of antidepressant and several different drugs in each class. Unfortunately, I am either allergic to the drugs, having dangerous and/or unbearable side effects from the drugs, or the drugs don't work. My only recourse is therapy, drugs won't do the trick (except for the tranquilizers that keep my panic attacks in check, but I've been on them too long and have developed a dependancy to them, yet my doc won't take me off of them). I've accepted the fact that this is a process and likely a lifelong one. I will never be "cured," just have to learn to handle it.
I am very serious about my condition and trying to work on it. And feeding an obsessive guilt is one of the major areas I am trying to work on, but most of my doctors and therapists are secular or of a different religious persuasion. There is no "Christian" councelling in my area. So I have to rely on the guidance of other christians (including priests).

I'm doing my best, I is just soooo hard.

 

[lovemysoldier]

When we confess our sins to God our slate is wiped clean with Christ's blood. When we tell God, "I know that I confessed these sins last week..." God says, "What sins?"

Hebrews 8:12
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

I agree that priests should NEVER refuse confession. What kind of father disciplines a child that repeadly falls while trying to walk? Sin is not a little thing and should never be regarded as such. If you give the devil an inch he will take your soul. You have a perfect priest in Christ and you can turn to Him always. He will never deny you your God-given right to love and forgiveness.

Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

Luke 17:4
If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."