Priest refuses confession?

[Canadian75]

I was wondering if you could interpret this for me. I had an appointment with my confessor and he called and cancelled the appt. and said the reason was I was confessing too often and was a little too scrupulous. I felt as if I committed a mortal sin that needed confessing. He is my regular confessor and knew what I was going to confess ('cause I confess this sin often). He is aware of all extenuating circumstances connected with my sin. He doesn't believe that I need to come to confession. Am I being too scrupulous in worrying about this? Should I understand that the priest is telling me that what I did was not in fact a mortal sin, but a venial sin?

I'm confused.

 

[colleen]

If this is your regular confessor I would make an appointment so he can explain himself. You have the right to understand why you were denied confession.
Colleen

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

Personally, I think a priest should never refuse to hear someone's confession. However, if a sin (let's say like sexual impurity with oneself)has become habitual- it might not be a mortal sin- as there is (possibly)no longer full freedom of choice, but rather one is acting out of compulsion. A regular confessor would be able to help sort it all out- and help discren whether or not something is venial or mortal. However I would argue that particularly when a sin is habitual, a person really needs the grace that comes ONLY from sacramental confession to decrease our attatchment for this particular sin and give us the abitlity to fight against temptation. Regular confession is the BEST way to fight against damagin vices.

In my opinion, find a spiritual director (ask around the Oppus Dei crowd in your area or Regnum Christi-- they will probably all know of some good spiritual directors) or at the very least find a new confessor.

 

[geocajun]

Take his advice.

 

[Cosmic Charlie]

Take his advice.

Oh, God.

I agree with geo. (This could easily be a sign of impending [font=&quot]Apocalypse).

I can remember being told to "stop assaulting Heaven with my obsessive consceince and weakness" and get on with repairing my soul. At the risk of getting seriously jumped, (please read this in the spirit in which it is intended) some sins are just expected, its the ones that you commit thoughtfully and with malice (serious matter or not) that should be cause for serious reflection.
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[Stormy]

I know it does not happen much if at all anymore, but isn't it true that a Priest does not have to forgive our sins?

I do not know the exact Bible verse. Perhaps someone could help me... It is where Jesus gives the power to the Church to bind or to loose.

IMO It is not a "given" that we can just walk in and out of the confessional to gain freedom from the punishment of sin, only to continue in the sin.

When you confess it should be an act of humility and regret. It should be followed by repenting. Actual steps and sacrifices should be taken by you to repent from the sin.

A Priest in not in the business of underwriting "fire" insurance.

If I am anywhere close to the reality of what you are doing, than I think the Priest is doing right. If I am way off the mark... Please accept my apology.

 

[Filia Mariae]

Oh, God.

I agree with geo. (This could easily be a sign of impending [font=&quot]Apocalypse).
[/font]

 

[tjboie2001]

He shouldn't of cacelled at all that doesn't seem right but what do I know I haven't been to confession in a long time. I think that you need to go and sit down and talk to him about why he did that.

 

[Metanoia02]

I know it does not happen much if at all anymore, but isn't it true that a Priest does not have to forgive our sins?

I do not know the exact Bible verse. Perhaps someone could help me... It is where Jesus gives the power to the Church to bind or to loose.

IMO It is not a "given" that we can just walk in and out of the confessional to gain freedom from the punishment of sin, only to continue in the sin.

When you confess it should be an act of humility and regret. It should be followed by repenting. Actual steps and sacrifices should be taken by you to repent from the sin.

A Priest in not in the business of underwriting "fire" insurance.

If I am anywhere close to the reality of what you are doing, than I think the Priest is doing right. If I am way off the mark... Please accept my apology.

Stormy,

If person has no intent or resolution to stop commiting a particular sin the priest does not have to grant absolution. Part of the Act of Contrition is to resolve to stop sinning.

For instance, at a retreat I was on, we had the opportunity to go to confession. One of the guys there hadn't been for a long time. He was living with his girlfrind (in sin) and confessed that as one of his sins. The priest asked him if he intended to live in a celebate relationship until marriage. He said "NO". The priest denied him absolution.

This may sound harsh to some, but to grant absolution would haev been scandalous to the Sacrament.

 

[Veritas]

He might be providing you with good, spiritual counsel. I agree that making an appointment with him for clarification would be a good idea.

 

[Canadian75]

It is not a "given" that we can just walk in and out of the confessional to gain freedom from the punishment of sin, only to continue in the sin.

When you confess it should be an act of humility and regret. It should be followed by repenting. Actual steps and sacrifices should be taken by you to repent from the sin.

A Priest in not in the business of underwriting "fire" insurance.

If I am anywhere close to the reality of what you are doing, than I think the Priest is doing right. If I am way off the mark... Please accept my apology.

No need to apologize. And no, though I understand what you are saying, this is not the case. Firstly, many of my repetitive sins (some of which can be mortal or venial, depending on the circumstances) are things I am constantly working on combating, yet I still fall into the same sins (even after firmly resolving never to do them again). The explaination I was given at the time he called to cancel the appointment was along the lines of being too scrupulous and he felt I did not need to come into confession right now.

My confessor knows me very well and many of the issues I am dealing with, so I am not in need of a new confessor. But, at the same time, I was worried that the priest might be wrong and that I actually need confession. I guess the question I have to ask myself is do I need this confession to reconcile with God, or to make myself feel less guilty?

 

[Stormy]

Stormy,

If person has no intent or resolution to stop commiting a particular sin the priest does not have to grant absolution. Part of the Act of Contrition is to resolve to stop sinning.

For instance, at a retreat I was on, we had the opportunity to go to confession. One of the guys there hadn't been for a long time. He was living with his girlfrind (in sin) and confessed that as one of his sins. The priest asked him if he intended to live in a celebate relationship until marriage. He said "NO". The priest denied him absolution.

This may sound harsh to some, but to grant absolution would haev been scandalous to the Sacrament.

But what if he had said yes.... but then went back into sin with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

and on and on!

At some point would it be wrong for the Priest to refuse to hear the confession because the individual was not being honest with the Priest, himself, or God.

 

[Stormy]

No need to apologize. And no, though I understand what you are saying, this is not the case. Firstly, many of my repetitive sins (some of which can be mortal or venial, depending on the circumstances) are things I am constantly working on combating, yet I still fall into the same sins (even after firmly resolving never to do them again). The explaination I was given at the time he called to cancel the appointment was along the lines of being too scrupulous and he felt I did not need to come into confession right now.

My confessor knows me very well and many of the issues I am dealing with, so I am not in need of a new confessor. But, at the same time, I was worried that the priest might be wrong and that I actually need confession. I guess the question I have to ask myself is do I need this confession to reconcile with God, or to make myself feel less guilty?

Now I get you! And I wonder too... do we need to be spotless? I have heard of people who only confess yearly. I have wondered... What if they died on the 11th month???

 

[Metanoia02]

But what if he had said yes.... but then went back into sin with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

came back the next week and said yes ....but then went back with the girl

and on and on!

At some point would it be wrong for the Priest to refuse to hear the confession because the individual was not being honest with the Priest, himself, or God.

That is where the priest needs to provide additional guidance if he is aware of someone persisiting in a particular sin. That is where the priest who canceled the appointment should have sat down with the person and explained the situation.

 

[tjboie2001]

I guess that includes me since I haven't been to confession in a long time at all.

 

[geocajun]

Oh, God.

I agree with geo. (This could easily be a sign of impending [font=&quot]Apocalypse).

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when you add this to the tsunami, mudslide, and glacier... well it does look like the end of the world is near

 

[Metanoia02]

Now I get you! And I wonder too... do we need to be spotless? I have heard of people who only confess yearly. I have wondered... What if they died on the 11th month???

You get put in the long line with the Protestants, relying on God's mercy!

 

[Canadian75]

I took some of the advice and phoned my confessor to get some clarification. His reason for putting off my confession was so that I do not become "addicted" to confession. He felt I was coming to confession too often. However, he was not making any judgements as to the state of sin I was in. He suggested I could wait til next week to call and make an appointment for confession.
I am going to be sick...I am FREAKING out right now , I cannot stand thinking I am in a state of mortal sin (whether I am or not, I am not 100% certain anymore). You'd think the anguish and anxiety I go through (which is going to give me an ulcer) would be a good reason not to put myself into the situation in the first place. You'd think so....




I just love God so much, why can't I just be good for His sake...or at least improve.

 

[Stormy]

Pray, and ask God for forgiveness and help with your sin. Believe that he is there and he hears you, and he loves you. It should make you feel better. I hope so.

I will pray for you too.

Oh... and like that one sweet poster says... Adoration.

 

[Irenaeus]

Addicted to Confession?

That's like saying Einstein was addicted to math, or Beethoven was addicted to music, or that Plato was addicted to philosophy.

Mother Teresa went everyday. The Holy Father goes every week. Certainly these two aren't comitting mortal sins every week.

I go every week. I make some of the same mistakes every week. We all do. I've been scrupulous in some things, and my Confessor told me no longer to confess them, so in obedience, I omit them. However, my Confessor would never (who is a very holy man) in his wildest dreams forbid me Confession, because he knows truly that the Confession pours a deluge of graces upon the soul.

It just takes a certain amount of Prudence on the part of the Confessor to be able to regulate any kind of scrupulosity, or to give good counsel. What do you expect of a pentitent if you give only two hail marys and an absolution, with absolutely no elaboration, or making observations, or giving counsel to the penitent?

Denying you Confession because you Confess certain habitual sins is like denying a baby needed food because he may spit it out, which they do quite often.

The righteous man falls seven times a day! He must get up somehow!

I do agree that you must talk to your Confessor.