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Praying for God's Will and our own desires

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by WhatSetsUsApart, Jan 1, 2011.

  1. WhatSetsUsApart

    WhatSetsUsApart Newbie

    I know that we should come before God in prayer with the desires of our heart. At the same time I know we are supposed to seek God's will for our lives in prayer as well. How much of my own desires am I allowed to pray for versus how much should I be asking for God's Will to be done in my life?

    I'm going through a very tough breakup, and despite everything I'm doing, the only thing I desire in my life right now is getting back together with my ex. Through this breakup I have thrown myself back into God's Word and have been praying multiple times per day about the situation. I find myself begging God to bring my ex and me back together. However, each time I also ask the His will be done in my life, and that my relationship with my ex be included in his will for my life.

    Am I wrong in praying that God bring back my ex to me and that it be included in His will for me? Is it ok to pray for the things we desire only? Should I stop praying for reconciliation with my ex?

    Please help.
  2. aldar

    aldar Regular Member

    I think cast your cares on Jesus is appropriate here and rest in him. Let him know how you feel...and ask that his will be done in your life. It is also good that you ask that God cultivate your heart and make his desires your own. Let the Lord know how you feel... and trust in him to do his will.
  3. Peripatetic

    Peripatetic Restless mind, peaceful soul.

    You can do both at the same time. "Lord, if it is your will, please..." or "Please... but you know what is best for me, so let your will be done."

    I'm going through a tough time right now with something, and I'm getting a lot of practice with that prayer myself!
  4. birernest

    birernest Junior Member

    What you have to realize is that sometimes God's will does not coincide with what our heart desires. You should always pray for God's will above anything else. It may not be God's will for you and your ex to get back together. If its his will, then you guys will reconcile-if it isn't then he will not bring the two of you back together. His Will is more important than what our heart desires.
  5. xameni

    xameni Guest

    I think you realize that both prayers are ok. IMHO they are ok too. I would mostly try to work on being patient God does sometimes takes time to respond to our prayers. It is because it is for our own good. Coming our of a bad relationship sometimes we need time to heal ONLY God knows what is best for us. Sometimes we think and we pray what it seems good for us but God has other plans for us. I would just be patient and let God show you what to do.

    Hope that helps.
  6. heron

    heron Legend

    In Relationship
    There was a reason for the separation, and those reasons take time to work themselves out. If you are praying that -- and I don't see many things God tells us not to pray -- then God is beginning to work.

    The choice is still between you and your ex. God is not going to brainwash her and cause her to forget her entire past. He is not going to zap her with love potion and a cupid's arrow. But God can gradually mend and repair, bringing understanding and mercy.

    Are there things that she asked of you, that you could be working on? That will make a difference, if she sees that you have made the effort. Are there specific areas you are hoping she will change?

    Think of a couple of the odd prayers in the Bible. David's imprecatory Psalms. Jonah wanting Ninevah destroyed. Jesus asking if the cup could be taken from Him (just in case). People prayed out of their own concerns, and God dealt with what they gave Him. He knows our hearts... we don't need to pretend we have no emotions, when talking with Him.
  7. Emmy

    Emmy Senior Veteran

    Salvation Army
    Dear WhatSetsUsApart. You had some good replies, and here is mine, too. We know that God is our Heavenly Father and loves us. God has given us free will to follow His Commandments to love, or not, not only to us, but to all His children. You love God, and God knows, keep praying, and telling God your dilemma and wishes. Jesus told us: " ask and ye will receive" and God will help you, as much as He can do without taking your wife`s free will away. Let God see how much you wish for a reconciliation, and show your love for your wife, too. God will give you stepping-stones out of your sadness, but God sees our hearts and God knows how sincere our love really is. Are you prepared to let love lead you to heal the breach for you and your wife? God loves us all, and God will not wave a wand to give us our wish, God`s Will for us is Always of a loving God, who knows and wills for us, what is best for us, and shows His Love for us. Tell God your wishes and ask what you can do to help to show our love for God and our neighbour. In your case it is your wife. God is Love, and love is the greatest weapon we have to overcome our shortcomings. I say this with love, WhatSetsUsApart. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
  8. WhatSetsUsApart

    WhatSetsUsApart Newbie

    Thank you all for your replies.

    A lot of what you guys said has really opened my eye. I guess I need to continue to be honest about how I'm feeling when I come before God in prayer. I know that God isn't a genie and won't just grant every request I ask for, but I will continue to pray my desires and hope that God will work on me during this time.

    Now all I need is patience, I want so badly for God to lead me out of this or to change the circumstances in my life.
  9. guitarguy12

    guitarguy12 New Member

    Puerto Rico

    You're not wrong, but you're not right, either. Can you pray for a reconciliation? Yes. SHOULD you pray for a reconciliation? NO. If I was you, I'd focus ALL of the prayers on the subject on me, not her. I think it's a time for you understand the purpose of the breakup, and if it's all within God's plans for you to mature and to grow in your faith, your life, your professions, jobs or whatever you may need to do, as a person, to be closer to the person God wants you to be. It's clear for me that your heart needs to be centered in the Lord, not your ex-girlfriend. Maybe, after God works on you, as you let It, you'll be in a better position in your life to know if you're better prepared in the case you'd want to be with your ex again.