Prayers please

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hello friends,

I was hoping you could pray for me as we deal with my granddad's death. He passed away yesterday afternoon and so my husband and I are getting ready to make the 11-hour drive down to Texas for the funeral. There are several things on my mind and heart right now that I was hoping you could pray for.

1) For family comfort, as we don't know if my granddad was a Christian or not. My mom was not raised in a Christian family (she became one in college) and no one is really sure what my granddad believed. They did go to church occassionally so there is definitely hope that the seed was planted.

2) This may sound trivial, but it is weighing on my mind right now. There is a lot of pressure for us to fly down there, but it will cost DH and I $1300. Driving will save us a substantial amount of money, but my parents are upset and worried that we are driving. I am trying to understand it from their perspective, and yet respect the decision that my husband made to drive instead of fly. Just pray that there will be peace for whatever decision we make, as we need to make it SOON (like yesterday, haha), and safety no matter how we choose to come down. I feel VERY in the middle, and the last thing we really need is family tension right now.

3) I can feel my OCD really starting to growl... regarding safety of my parents, death in general, my old religious obsessions coming back, etc. Please pray that I use all my coping skills instead of running with the thoughts.

Thanks so much.

 

[BeccaLynn]

Praying for you and your family . . .

Love,
Rebecca

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose."

 

[kaykay9.0]

Praying for you, SAD, for peace, comfort, grace and wisdom right now. I live in the Dallas area. At least right now, if you do decide to drive, I don't know how far you have to drive in Colorado, but the weather in Texas is nice right now.

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Kaykay I was born in Plano! I was just looking at weather for the Amarillo-Lubbock area and loving the sunny 60-degree forecast!

On a side note I am really starting to feel guilty and anxious, trying to please everyone right now.

 

[QUannie]

Prayed for you!

Q

 

[kaykay9.0]

Kaykay I was born in Plano! I was just looking at weather for the Amarillo-Lubbock area and loving the sunny 60-degree forecast!

On a side note I am really starting to feel guilty and anxious, trying to please everyone right now.

Were you really??? I was born and grew up in Lubbock. Are you traveling to the Panhandle?

Well, you know better than to try to please everyone. Can't be done. Don't feel guilty about making choices!

 

[RachelZ]

Hey Sad...sorry to hear your sad news! Sending hugs and will pray that God really helps you...not least to be free from the OCD at this time! If you need any arrow prayers and can get to a PC whilst you're there, do feel free to pm. Take care...Rachel

PS In my experience you can bust a gut trying to please everyone and still not manage it...at the end of the day we can aim to please God, try to live in a way that doesn't purposefully upset others and do our best to make wise choices, which are not allways the choices others would have us make! I know how difficult this dilemma is and pray God will give you wisdom and peace!

 

[kaykay9.0]

PS In my experience you can bust a gut trying to please everyone and still not manage it...at the end of the day we can aim to please God, try to live in a way that doesn't purposefully upset others and do our best to make wise choices which are not allways the choices others would have us make! I know how difficult this dilemma is and pray God will give you wisdom and peace!

Good wisdom right here! I second that!

 

[gracealone]

HI Sad,
I know how the OCD can rear up during this type of stress as we just went through the death of my father in law in the middle of selling that old albatross of a cottage and moving downstate. (But it's finally over!) Just expect it but don't start trying to reassure yourself about the content of those old intrusive thoughts. Praying for you on your trip. Let us know when you get back.
Mitzi

 

[HopingForJesus]

Sad, hugs and prayers coming your way....much peace in Christ

 

[RachelZ]

Hey Sad...hoping it's all going as peacefully as possible...hugs, Rachel

 

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Hi everyone, first off thanks so much for your prayers. Rachel, that was some sage advice about not trying to please everyone. One of the things I really need to work on is making decisions and not worrying endlessly if someone is mad at me and becoming anxious and feeling guilty about it!

Kay - that is so funny, my family is from the Midland/Odessa area and my mom and all my aunts/uncle went to Texas Tech! It was great being back in Texas. I really miss it. I tried to convince DH to move there but I think he would miss the mountains.

Well just wanted to update everyone. The service was nice and since my grandfather had served in WWII, the Army Nat'l Guard came out to the internment part of the service and draped a flag over the casket. It was very moving, and they played "Taps" as the final send off. Then they folded the flag and presented it to my grandmother. That was very hard for me to watch. Sometimes I get the feeling, after hearing the eulogy, that I never quite knew how great of a man he really was.

One good thing that came from it was my aunt and her husband - who both claim to be liberal athiests/Buddhists - were very shaken by his death because for them, there is nothing after death... no hope. My aunt used to be a Christian before she married my uncle so my mom is hopefully using this opportunity to witness to her.

I was surprisingly well during the trip, but yesterday when we got home, I started feeling depressed and obsessing. I always feel as though during the week after the death - the preparations, funeral, gatherings, etc. are not that hard, it's when everyone goes home that it really starts to sink in. Today is the first day that I have woken up anxious in quite awhile. I am obsessing about death, the fear of death, the meaning of life, my relationships, the eventual death of my parents, getting older, is God real, am I really saved, etc. You name it, I have spiked about it.

It is VERY hard for me to have an interruption to my life, even if it is going on vacation. I love being around my family and they all live in different states so I get a little depressed anyway when we leave to come back home. Then I start spiking about why am I happy when I am with family and depressed when they leave/we come back home. Do I hate my life? Am I really happy? What if I am meant to have a different life? Which is stupid because whenever I get back into every day life I am quite happy with my relationships/job (most of the time)/ church involvement/friends. It's just that every time my little world is upset by some outside event -whether it be good or bad - I am a little depressed coming back to reality. This has happened for as long as I can remember.

What really stinks is that stuff that should normally comfort us Christians, like "But we'll get to be with Jesus," and "your grandfather's finally in a better place now" are all things that just end up spiking me about life after death and all my religious obsessions. For right now I am just listening to the Claire Weekes recordings again, and practicing just accepting the thoughts and feelings. It is really hard not to try and figure out the puzzle, but the alternative (becoming incredibly anxious and obsessive) doesn't sound that great of an option.

 

[gracealone]

HI Sad,
It really does stink that our OCD usually takes advantage of those interruptions in our usual pattern of life. I'm the same way. I start every trip with dread. I begin every new experience with a stomach ache. I've learned, like you that this is just part and parcel of living with the disorder of OCD. What is really great is that your response to all of it is the right one. It affords you yet one more opportunity to put into practice the things that you know will help you to manage it. That doesn't mean you get to feel all comfy and relaxed about it - it means hard work. But choosing to do the work demonstrates real courage. If I may say so... I'm very proud of you and I'm very encouraged by your steadfast determination to keep on walking.
Mitzi

 

[Servant of Jesus]

Hello friends,

There are several things on my mind and heart right now that I was hoping you could pray for.

1) For family comfort, as we don't know if my granddad was a Christian or not. My mom was not raised in a Christian family (she became one in college) and no one is really sure what my granddad believed. They did go to church occassionally so there is definitely hope that the seed was planted.

2) This may sound trivial, but it is weighing on my mind right now. There is a lot of pressure for us to fly down there, but it will cost DH and I $1300.

So with regard to Item 1, we are not to judge, so assume the best and if the topic comes up, point out that your granddad did attend church and that you believe he was a man of faith. You can bring up things that he did in his life that indicate he was following Christ's suggestions about how to live our life.

Item 2 is easy: pray about it and ask God for guidance, then explain that you did this to anyone that questions you about your decision.

 

[BeccaLynn]

Sad,

I'm glad that the trip went so well and that you and your husband are back safely. I'm sure your mother is very glad about that as well since she was so concerned for you and your husband to drive. Prayerfully, God will use this time to work in your aunt's and uncle's lives. I used to get concerned because I would get so upset when someone I knew died due to the struggle with my own salvation, but then I would feel odd because often times I felt like I was disconnected from it all and didn't care as I should. I would think I must be hard and cold or something when I felt that way. Our feelings can sure be odd can't they?

I find myself worrying about things . . . my parents' deaths, things changing from the way I've known them, my son growing up and my husband and me getting older. I know I"ve mentioned that before, but sometimes it just really seems more real than ever before, especially when someone we were close to dies. That seems to be when people start looking at their life and priorities. Ocd can tend to make this extremely difficult. I struggle with certain types of change. I used to get so sad about halfway through my vacation because it was closer to time to come home. I live close to most of my family, but I had put such hope and so looked foward to the get-a-ways that it was hard to realize they were almost over. I even got depressed after my wedding because I had put such thought into it and, after it was over, I had to go on to something else. It was sad for me. The times that should be the most joyous or relaxing can be some of the most difficult for me. I can relate to feeling sad when you had to come back. I get sad over great memories, like childhood vacations and Christmases. They were wonderful, but they're gone and I'm getting older. All of this said, I am glad that you are taking the steps needed so that ocd won't get the better of you.

Love and Prayers,
Rebecca

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi, Sad!
Yes, my husband and I both graduated from Texas Tech too. Go Tech!
My current pastor is from the Midland/Odessa area.

Regarding your current spiking about fear of death, of your parents deaths etc. I would just advise you to take the advice of Jesus and "take it one day at a time." I think the way he put it was, "Take no thought for tomorrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.. Sufficicient for the day is the trouble therein." Matthew 36:4 KJV

I do understand loss. I'm not trying to minimize your fears. They are real. Most of the things, though, we obsess about thankfully will never happen. And those that do, those that are just a part of life, we have to just trust that Jesus will walk with us in the valley and help us get through.

OCD, as you know, demands 100% certainty. Life just isn't like that, and we get back to trusting Jesus and his commands to take it one day at a time. I know, easier said than done! I think you are on track, also, doing the things that you know are beneficial to handling the OCD struggles.

 

[Jayangel81]

Praying for you