Prayer needed

[sampa]

For wisdom, words, revelation and discernment.

I don't feel like a made a mistake in helping someone and sharing the gospel, but I got closer to someone that I knew was an infatuation at work over the winter. I wanted to explore and see this persons mind, if there really was something real between us and now I'm at a crossroads. On top of that, it was a crisis that brought us together this summer, him losing his eye sight in one eye from a break in at his house. There's many things that drew me away from him also 1. How hes let his body go 2. Eleven years older 3. that he most likely has a heavy drinking problem 4. and no mention of Jesus.

My mind is confused right now and trying to clear thoughts, and figured this would be the best place. I decided I wouldn't marry or date before I turned 40 years old, too tired to think about it anymore. After 22 years nothing working out (no boyfriends) because of bad attractions and walking away. And then one winter I hear this guys voice on the radio and am immedietly drawn to him before I've met him and I believe he was inherberated when I first met him on the job. Never been attracted to a much older guy either, have always been younger.

Anyways, I feel things are going fast now - poetry, yet downplaying everything to say everything is a joke and today asked me to go camping with him (he already knows that I don't believe in premaritial sex) - he backtracked of coarse and said he's pushed me too far and will have to work harder at writing more poems are something. The important matters are 1. that he is born again and walking with the Lord 2. free from alchol 3. Will not cause stress on my systemic lupus and support me 100% when I'm affected.

He told me yesterday about all these christian people he knows, the books he has on christian things, that he's read the bible. All things that I looked at him apathetically because it doesn't mean much if your not proclaiming Jesus as your Lord and Savior. As for alchol he told me at one point that it was responsible for his divorce, along with his addiction with working on the house. He asked me today how I felt about having drinks (this was a red flag) and I let him know I don't much, especially with my kidneys having been affected by lupus. The last part is pretty self explainatory, he's been understanding, as we both can't drive do much after certain hours - him driving and me fatigue from lupus.

Well I've put out a lot here and very few will probably read or respond, but I needed some place to sort this out and have more than one pray for my situation. The last time I ever had someone write me poetry was in 1992 and interestingly, this guys handwriting is the same and he pays attention to most of the details I say. Very charming, but at the same time seems to put some things down about me - morely my seriousness, like he wants to break that down so I'll be comfortable with him. Prayers appreciated. The holy spirit is powerful and I've already seen some stuff in the time I've talked to him.

 

[blackribbon]

I will pray. However, the alcohol addiction issue and the lack of a shared faith should scare you to death. He won't get better after you get married...not without God intervening and I wouldn't be willing to risk my life (as in being married for life) on that intervention. He would need to become a Christian ... not to please you but rather because he realizes that HE needs Jesus...and unless he is very committed to staying sober, he will be drunk again. If he thinks even one drink is "okay" then he isn't committed. My advice is to be his friend but guard your heart very closely. He is a walking heartache if you fall in love with him. If he continues to drink, you will most likely lose a lot of that love and still be married to him. Do not marry until you find a man you can "submit" to (24/7) and is willing to be a Christian leader in your home. It isn't worth it.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi sampa,
I'm praying you find the answer that will work best for you. I thank God you have the understanding you do about this man, the strengths he has and his weaknesses. Sounds like you two are communicating pretty good. Keep talking about the hard things as well.
Thanks for trusting us with this personal part of your life. I pray you find God's will in this relationship.

 

[alistair clark]

I too will be praying for you and for him.

 

[sampa]

Thanks everyone for your prayers. They were heard. I broke things off Halloween 2014 because he showed up not sober. We wrote letters for about 6 months while he tried to become sober (18years is a long time for the deep established habit he has/had). I took 2 weeks to pray and discern and came to the decision that this was something he needed to do on his own. On April 30th I called, making the decision to go our seperate ways without any counsel from anyone except the Lord. He was glad with how I came about my decision, but sad and acknowledging it may take some years for him to become fully sober. He now has the freedom to decide what path he wants to take with the Lord, drinking and such. I've not texted, written or called/talked since April 30th and the Lord has been good to keep me growing in my faith and understanding. Im so glad I that I made the boundaries I did in the 2months we dated and 6 months writing letters, otherwise my heart would be at a loss and distracted from the everyday. Thanks again everyone for your prayers.

 

[sampa]

and by the way my lupus is in remission! Praise God. And I'm not sure if a praise, but he did start going to a church & bible study in his town from February till I last spoke to him end of April. He's considered a curiosity since the town is so small and his story is so unusual, a teenager breaking into his place and attempting murder. Very remote area near the amish and brethern churches.

He said the pastor called him (our last conversation) and wanted to meet and talk with him. He said he could see through it, but was willing to meet with him. He also was wanting to share Christ with a coworker that was dying of cancer but having a tough time finding the guts to do it. He had a whole new life of library visits, reading books and hiking in the state park near him the last I spoke with him. I didn't want to be his motivation, and now I think he's properly had time to access if he wants to continue or go back to the old ways.

 

[dayhiker]

That's great to hear sampa .... also thanks for coming back to share with us how things turned out.

 

[sampa]

That's great to hear sampa .... also thanks for coming back to share with us how things turned out.

Thanks Dayhiker...yes its been a while since I visited here. I hope you are well and blessed Dayhiker.

 

[dayhiker]

sampa ... My life has been blessed and its hard to imagine a better life .. OK enough money to retire would be nice. Ya, life is good for me. Thanks.

 

[BelieveAll]

I will pray for both of you

 

[sampa]

I will pray for both of you

Thanks BelieveAll.