I had been away from God. I've been having major health problems for years. I tried to bargain with God , " if you heal me I will serve you " ( I was just being plain dumb )
God doesn't need me,
I need him , it's not on my terms. I know he wants me though and I want to do great things for the kingdom of God..
I fell into major sexual sin /lust , major gambling addiction and many other different things.
I got tired of running from God and being sick.
I said enough is enough and came back to God. I said at least if I'm sick I'm going to have God in my corner .
I felt so much guilt for the evil things I think and have done.
I just cry and cry about how terrible I've been. Nothing but guilt . I know God forgives me but I need to forgive myself and its hard.
For a bit i was like I don't feel anything why isn't God talking to me.
This morning while I was in the word of God I felt him speak to me.like he put something on my mind that I need to do. That made me really happy but I struggled with unpure thoughts shortly after.
So for prayer. My major health problems . My walk with God and my problem with lust.This morning I was out getting a few things for my kids for Christmas and this cashier I looked at lustfully . I looked at her once and I said please God help me under my breath and after that forced myself not to look at her until she told me the total and I had to pay.
I'm praying and praying for God to help me with my lustful ways. I didn't suppress it for so long that its really hard to stop. I'll think of nasty things in my mind and I just ask God to help me to control my thoughts . I yearn to be right with the lord.
God doesn't need me,
I need him , it's not on my terms. I know he wants me though and I want to do great things for the kingdom of God..
I fell into major sexual sin /lust , major gambling addiction and many other different things.
I got tired of running from God and being sick.
I said enough is enough and came back to God. I said at least if I'm sick I'm going to have God in my corner .
I felt so much guilt for the evil things I think and have done.
I just cry and cry about how terrible I've been. Nothing but guilt . I know God forgives me but I need to forgive myself and its hard.
For a bit i was like I don't feel anything why isn't God talking to me.
This morning while I was in the word of God I felt him speak to me.like he put something on my mind that I need to do. That made me really happy but I struggled with unpure thoughts shortly after.
So for prayer. My major health problems . My walk with God and my problem with lust.This morning I was out getting a few things for my kids for Christmas and this cashier I looked at lustfully . I looked at her once and I said please God help me under my breath and after that forced myself not to look at her until she told me the total and I had to pay.
I'm praying and praying for God to help me with my lustful ways. I didn't suppress it for so long that its really hard to stop. I'll think of nasty things in my mind and I just ask God to help me to control my thoughts . I yearn to be right with the lord.