I appreciate all the prayers, didn't see all of them in my view earlier. Thank you sekir, and freezerman for caring and praying. You too Linus, I need His peace about this.
Thank you rocky for praying for blessings as well as direction, and nice of you to think of putting the request for others also.
Stephanie thank you for your thoughtful prayer for wisdom, truth and honesty and a coming together in a clear way or a clear way of parting..
Recently he has pulled the God's will card (acknowledging it's from his perspective), based on the number of times he has asked God to take the feelings away yet they remain and get stronger. There may be times I might wish it could work out, but my practical side will not let me consider it, we are similar in some ways but not aligned and I can't identify with or trust his vision and thought processes, but can admire at friendship level. I like to think I am a reliable steady person, yet my feelings on this friendship and if and how to make it work tumble around like a dryer.
Interesting you talk of neediness drjean, I have friendships like this too. In this case sometimes it is a drain on energy, other times I am energized and blessed. He sees himself as a very needy person (of God first, but also people, large part due to visionary ambition, part also self-pity) it's like he needs me to need him. Possibly we need each other currently in particular friendship-related ways, but in other ways things are just chaotic / frustrating.
Working for him does unbalance things, complicates some things, maybe simplifies some others. I guess lately I appreciate that this can give more of a day to day framework of connection outside of a friendship/relationship one to work with, though I've done my best to minimize it. I tend to be pretty independent, I am usually the person who is asked, not who asks but with circumstances in my life right now sometimes it is just nice that someone is there in the way he is, yet it is a tenuous thing...