Prayer for better parenting

[InspiredHome]

Hi everyone I'm still struggling with losing my patience with my 2 1/2 year-old-son. He still isn't talking and is constantly whining and testing his boundries. I have almost zero patience with him and am always yelling. I have never really grown close to him unlike my 9-month-old. With my oldest it's been one struggle after another and I feel like I'm cheating him of a wonderful and loving mommy.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

We've gotten to a stage where anything an everything Kat does jes drives us nuts.... we figure it's probably time we sent er to G'ma's for a night and get a break so we'll miss her all over again. We've only ever left er once and she's 3, don't be to hard on yourself kids are gonna push em and most times know exactly which button it is to push, deep breaths seem to hep round here some, and don't worry to much bout em talkin either, lot of folks worry bout it but you've still got some time, sumthin I think hep's is readin to em, if they like books then read the books to em, not lil kiddie books of "see spot run" but others that have more vocabulary in em.

Sumthin I did wit Kat ever night before bed was jes have a talk with her, she jes made baby noises and the like but I'd recap my day to er an vise versa, that's had a slight back fire on me... cause now that she can talk she jes doesn't ever shut up.... especially before bed hehe

 

[faith177]

one of the best ways to teach vocab is to take a book with lots happening and dont read the words but point out and say words, dog, sky, flower, look the dog is playing with the ball. kids that age will start repeating words you say.

when hes really testing you, tickle him. make him laugh its up to you to create closeness, how you feel towards him will effect his behaviour and his self esteem later in life.

 

[andiesmama]

faith had some great advice....especially about the tickling part! That's what I do with Andie...when she's whiny or just being a "normal" two & a half year old, I just start by whining along with her, making funny faces, and then tickling her....by that time she's usually laughing and then we can talk about why she was upset.

 

[HeavensentBrFrancis]

Inspirithome I would like to share this lovely wee prayer with you if I may my dear sister
in Christ.
Heart of my Heart beat in me
Love of my heart, enlarge me
Joy of my heart, gladden me
Strengthen of my heart, encourage me
Pride of my heart, humble me
Light of my heart, chasten me
for my heart is your doing, O Lord
But, without you, my undoing.

Heavenly Father today
your child is still waiting
for you to comfort her,
and her little one.
Due to the lost of her parents
Lord You have said
if we call upon your name
you will come to us in
our need!
Lord Comfort my sister and her child
and bring those you have intrusted
to help her through this sad time
and grant her eternal peace Father
I ask this in Jesus's name
Amen.....

In Jesus's service

Br Francis

May my Lord watch over you
and your child at this difficult time,
but you will get through it sis, and I'm here
if you need me.

God be with you both...

 

[OracleX]

My wife struggles in similars ways with you. She tends to yell when talking is needed. One of the things that happens when you yell is that you children see that they can push your buttons. When they want attention they just push the button. It turns in to a nasty cycle. What needs to be done is break that cycle and that is easier said than done. If you take out the yelling and talk plainly with your son things will change. Speak plainly about cause and effect and follow through consistanly on the effect part. Children need to learn the cause and effect of things very early. If they don't it opens up the boundry pushing to a greater exteme. "If you do this, mommy will have to do this. I love you but you need to learn to obey." It does work. Works very well with me and my daughter. Even when it comes to punishing her, we never let her forget that we love her. We have had times where we have taken her to her room for a time out and forgot to tell her we love her and she says that she is sorry and she loves us.

With our four year old I almost never yell. I talk to her very plainly and in a quite tone. It has a much better result than yelling. Then few times that I have lost it and yelled it usually scares her which is a wake up call for me. Our daughter is very independent and wants to be treated like a 'big' person. As she says "when I was just a little ..." We find that treating her like a big kid is much more effective although she will always be my little girl.

There is also another thing to consider if you find yourself losing your patience a lot. Maybe you need to look at why that is. With my wife is she doesn't get proper sleep her patience level is much shorter. When she has had a tough day at work her patience level is shorter. Some things we can address so that we are more patient people, some we can't do on our own. There are days when my wife comes home from work and she has a short fuse and so I will step in and try to keep our daughter from pushing her buttons. I will take her out for a walk just the two of us or all three of us. Free air and a bit of exercise sometimes helps a lot. Some times it is just getting supper and cleaning up after that brings her around. Husbands and wifes need to see each others thresholds and try to reinforce and support each other.

 

[Melbelle]

Thanks I know i'll need this advice soon, I have a 1 1/2yr old heh... They grow so fast...

 

[country woman]

I pray that you will have the time to bond with your little one anto be more patient I went through this 18 years ago.I have a friend who has three little ones.And she is going some hard times now.

 

[Grace_Alone4gives]

I think we all have those days of 'parenting tribulation' where we react incorrectly and at the end of the day feel as if we could have handles situations differently.

I have 3 children; 4,2 and 11 months. Most days that are an absolute joy, and some days they push my wrong buttons.

Remember, we are not perfect...not in parenting or anything for that matter. We make mistakes and we fall...but we can not parent on our own - God is the great teacher and will give you what you need to parent to the best of His ability.

You will have your days of dispair and feel as if you cant handle it. But those moments are brief compared to the love and opportunity we have as women to have and raise children.

In addition - ask for help. It is fine to say 'Hey! Im Struggling here!". Any women with a child has had that feeling I am sure. I have not had many - but there have been days - especially when I first became a parent. But I have realized that requesting help and prayer (as you have) has helped me more than I could have ever helped myself.

God bless you.

 

[daisyduck]

I just wanted to recomend a great book. Shepherding a Childs Heart. God Bless

 

[erin74]

I know it is always harder when they aren't talking. Addicted2jesus idea is a good one. Just reading to them is apparently a really good way to help them talk and to read when that time comes. It's also just a nice quiet thing to do when they are being a bit whiney. My son went through a really whiney stage, especially when he was getting his 2 year old molars - phew don't start me on that one - it was a difficult time.

He will talk eventually. If it is worrying you talk to someone about it though, just to make you feel a bit better, or to get some other ideas that might help him on a bit. When they can't communicate with you it is very frustrating for them.

I have heard that once they reach 4 they do become lovely again! I have a 3 year old and a 11 month old, and I definitely feel how you do. My 11 month old still just loves to please mummy and daddy, and is so dependent. My 3 year old is just striving for independence, and that seems to require constant testing of boundaries!

I pray that things may get better soon for you, and that you may have patience with him. Perhaps try and find something special just the two of you can do together.... so that you can have a special time together....

erin

Erin

 

[HeatherJay]

Lots of good advice here. I just have one thing to add. This is something that I've really prayed a lot about lately and God is givng me the patience to make it through most of my days without yelling at my kiddies, but I do still have my moments.

When I do have those moments, I make sure that I APOLOGIZE to my girls and ask for their forgiveness. Me yelling at them is no less a temper tantrum than the ones that they sometimes throw. And they are no less deserving of an apology than their daddy or I am.

For a long time, it was a matter of pride for me...if I lost my temper, sure it was a mistake, but "they made me do it...they pushed my buttons." Then I realized that there is no excuse for that kind of behavior...there's no button that they can push that would warrant me yelling at them out of anger and frustration. And my pride was actually feeding the problem...I was justifying my bad behavior.

God showed me that, and knowing what I do now...that I have absolutely no right to yell at them in anger, no matter what...and recognizing that I need to repent and ask forgiveness for that behavior, from both God and my children, has helped the situation tremendously. Yes, I still have moments, but I acknowledge to my children that I chose the wrong behavior and I'm sorry, and I actively seek their forgiveness for that.

They see that grown-ups make mistakes, too, just like kids. And I hope that it teaches them that they are just as deserving of respect as their daddy and me are. Also, it sets the right example for them when they make a mistake and choose the wrong behavior...repent of that behavior and seek forgiveness for that.