Prayer and advice - girlfriend with non-Christian

[ChristianSeeker2]

My girlfriend went abroad to learn a language. She was a Christian but she has fallen for a local non-believer. She has always believed this is wrong, she acknowledges she is confused, but she is too caught up in the excitement. I would like prayer about the situation please and any constructive advice.

 

[St_Worm2]

Praying for you both!

As far as advice goes, be sure to continue to pray for her yourself, and be sure she knows that you still care for her, ESPECIALLY as a sister in Christ!

Also, don't hesitate to talk to God about what's going on with you, about how you feel, and about what you want. At the same time, you need to surrender your relationship with your girlfriend to Him, to His sovereignty and His love, just like you need to surrender everything else, trusting the outcome of all things, including this relationship, to Him (knowing/trusting that He knows what's best for you .. just like you did when you first became a Christian )!

The Psalmist tells us:

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" ~Psalm 37:4
​

That is an amazing verse, yes (a commandment with a promise), but be careful to take the time to truly understand what it's saying (because it is easily misunderstood). Verse 4 admonishes us to "delight ourselves in Him", to chase after God and His Kingdom alone When we do, He promises us that good things will follow, that He will give us our heart's desire (of course, when you truly, "delight yourself in the Lord", your desires tend to change a bit ).

Yours in Christ,
David

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you"
Matthew 6:33​

 

[RaymondG]

Advice: Cast your cares on Him. When you are ready for Him to handle the situation, step aside and let Him. When you want to take back control and handle it yourself again, start worrying and praying about it again. God is fine with and will love you no matter how many times you decide to give problems to him and then take them back.

 

[dysert]

My girlfriend went abroad to learn a language. She was a Christian but she has fallen for a local non-believer. She has always believed this is wrong, she acknowledges she is confused, but she is too caught up in the excitement. I would like prayer about the situation please and any constructive advice.

Hmm. If indeed she has "fallen for" someone else, is she still your girlfriend?

 

[ChristianSeeker2]

St worm2 and RamondG, thanks for your help and prayers. Cast your cares, trust He knows best, delight yourself in the Lord.
Raymond, when you say " When you want to take back control and handle it yourself again, start worrying and praying about it again" do you mean that as a bad thing, to be avoided? How to pray without worrying is I suppose the thing.

 

[Albion]

Hmm. If indeed she has "fallen for" someone else, is she still your girlfriend?

It sounds like she's trying to let our friend down gently by turning to the "It's not you, it's me" and "I'm confused" lines as explanations for why she chose another.

 

[dysert]

It sounds like she's trying to let our friend down gently by turning to the "It's not you, it's me" and "I'm confused" lines as explanations for why she chose another.

You may be right. The only reason I bring it up is because I'd have a different response to her if she was still my girlfriend (i.e., exclusivity) versus not.

 

[Albion]

You may be right. The only reason I bring it up is because I'd have a different response to her if she was still my girlfriend (i.e., exclusivity) versus not.

I agree. What we've read here makes it look like the gf's technique succeeded (assuming, of course, that we are not imputing some motive to her unfairly). The downside to using it is that, while it makes the unfaithful friend not seem too hard-hearted, it causes the hearer to think the relationship may be salvageable.

 

[RaymondG]

St worm2 and RamondG, thanks for your help and prayers. Cast your cares, trust He knows best, delight yourself in the Lord.
Raymond, when you say " When you want to take back control and handle it yourself again, start worrying and praying about it again" do you mean that as a bad thing, to be avoided? How to pray without worrying is I suppose the thing.

No, it is not a bad thing. You have free will to decide to take care of things yourself or Let God handle it.....You shouldnt be judged for which every one you choose. Jesus Stated, Who among you, by taking thought, can add one cubit to his stature? When you know God have heard you and is taking care of it there is no need to thinking about it again or worry. When you take matters into your own hands again....it would be best to start thinking and worrying again.

 

[Zatek]

Well if she's fallen for another guy, she's clearly not your girlfriend. It sucks when that happens, but better to find out now than later. Millions of other great women out there for you to go meet.

Second, anytime a woman you have romantic interest in does not have romantic interest in you, you should end all contact. If she hasn't cheated, you can say something like "I'm not interested in just friendship, if you change your mind give me a call", but then move on with your life. Maybe she'll call or maybe she won't. Do NOT be her friend. If she contacts you first, that's fine, but keep it brief.

Third, it's not your job to fix her. If she asks your opinion then you can let her know it's wrong and she should talk to her parents or her pastor or whoever, but the worst advice to give is the advice that isn't asked for. You will just push her away even more if you try to give unsolicited advice.

 

[Curtis.Hilliker]

Sorry to hear about that buddy, I know that stuff can hurt. Look at the bright side, at least you two weren't married first!!! When I first met the Lord I wanted relationship bigly, but it took seven years of seeking and prayer before I really met the right one. Now I'm planning a wedding with a woman who loves Jesus and loves me for who I am. Thank you God!!!! I'll send a prayer up for you today, your gonna be so happy when you meet the right gal Have a nice day.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

My girlfriend went abroad to learn a language. She was a Christian but she has fallen for a local non-believer. She has always believed this is wrong, she acknowledges she is confused, but she is too caught up in the excitement. I would like prayer about the situation please and any constructive advice.

Your girlfriend is cheating on you with someone she met abroad even though you are her boyfriend?
It's an indication she's not ready to commit to you and that she's not firm in her
faith walk with the Lord cause she's moving in the wrong direction.
Pray for her to become sincere in the faith, to hold to biblical teachings/godly standards that are befitting to a believer.
Pray that she will commit to the Word of God and that she'd learn to be faithful and would connect with mature believers who can mentor her and pray for her.
Ask the Lord to help you as you are feeling the let down of having a girlfriend that's not being true.
I would also encourage you to find mature believers who can mentor you and pray for you (in your own area.)

 

[joinfree]

My girlfriend went abroad to learn a language. She was a Christian but she has fallen for a local non-believer. She has always believed this is wrong, she acknowledges she is confused, but she is too caught up in the excitement. I would like prayer about the situation please and any constructive advice.

Never go abroad to learn a language. Go to learn into the local library.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Keep praying for her and pray the desire for the "excitement" of the world to leave and her hunger for the Lord to return with radical transformations. Keep reminding her of the promises of God. Praying......