Hi mike,
Well, I shall wait with bated breath. I'm curious how it can fail at all five categories by your understanding, yet others don't seem to get it. I would tend to think under such an explanation that it isn't others who don't get it, but I could be wrong.
However, at whatever point this particular song fails the 'cruncher' test isn't really the issue. For me, the issue is that there is a proposal on the table that we ban, or at least consider unworthy, songs that don't meet a particular test that is not based on anything we find in the Scriptures, but rather on a set of rules that describe an individual's or a group of people's preference in praise music.
I get that not all people like all praise music and that's just human nature. Music, like pretty much any other kind of art form, is a matter of personal appeal. It is an individual's expression of how they see or relate to something. A song writer sits down and comes up with a set of words that they then put to music and, in the case of Christian music, if it gains some popularity and expresses a genuine understanding that is true about God, or describes the individual's relating to God, some fellowships might choose to use it within their congregational fellowship.
Amazing Grace is a song that Mr. Spafford wrote as a result of a terrible, terrible family tragedy. In his great suffering he came to find comfort in the knowledge of God's amazing grace and set his hope on the day that all those who are born again will receive the reality of God's promise. It is a wonderful song that describes a truth about God. It has become hugely popular, as I believe it should be, but there was a day that it didn't exist.
Today we have new 'artists' who write different songs that describe different attributes and blessings of our God. They are, so long as they portray a truth about God or one's relationship to God, just as valid to be considered praise worthy music in fellowship as Amazing Grace. Now, surely among the fellowship there are going to be some who do like one song, but don't like another, and I get that. But, if the song portrays a truth about God, His Son, His Spirit or His word, or the struggles that some have in their relationship with God and how God is their comfort and their provider, then I believe that such a song is worthy to be considered a praise song. And I get that not everyone is necessarily going to like each one because of it's style or the sound of the music, but that, like the judgment made for all art forms, is purely and completely a matter of personal taste. So, for matters such as that, then born again believers should default to Paul's instructions about such matters.
Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written: " 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' " So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
Paul begins this by writing to us that there are 'disputable matters'. It is not just one singular matter, but there are at least a few. He mentions two of them that I imagine were big on the radar in his day. Food that is eaten and days that were held up as special. I'm confident that these two issues are not the only issues that Paul was referencing as 'disputable matters'. I think it good for us to at least try to practice this teaching among our fellowships. Some judge congregants based on the clothes that they wear. Some judge music based on their personal preferences. Some judge the teaching based on the clothes the teacher is wearing or his manner of delivery. We are a people, and I'm just as guilty at times as anyone else, who relish in making judgments in these 'disputable matters'.
I don't particularly like attending fellowships where the majority of the singing is the old 200-300 year old slow and plodding hymns. I like to see some life in the fellowship. More joy expressed that, at least for me, gives an indication that there is a sincere love and appreciation for who God is and all that He has done for us. That seems to show that they truly understand how utterly depraved and sinful they are but rejoice in having received the great and awesome and unworthy love of the One who created all things. The Scriptures seem to support this idea that believers should be joyful. Surely that should be seen in the gathering of believers. Maybe not so much all the time in an individual's expression. After all, the Scriptures also allow that we should mourn with those who mourn and so I wouldn't expect an individual to be always 'up'. But, in a fellowship of several dozen or several hundred people, why don't we see the joy that we are told to have in all things among some of them. Especially in our praise and thanksgiving.
I suppose my attitude may be reflective of some of the teachings I have received since being born again about 18 years ago. I had a wonderful teacher do a teaching once on praise within the body of believers. It was one of those large fellowships with the humongous screens up front and so one morning after all the singing and announcements and before the teacher took the podium, the screen came on with one of Michael Jackson's concerts. People were screaming and yelling and the camera came in close to some of the faces and you could read the lips of those saying, "I love you Michael!" It was just a cacophony of noise and jubilation directed towards Michael Jackson. Yes, the screens then went dark and teacher came up and basically said that for the believer, our joy in knowing Jesus and all that he has done for us, should be at least the same measure as what the world pours out to those that it claims to love. He did quickly point out that he wasn't advocating for all the noise, but merely the attitude of the heart.
I suppose that message made an impression on me that I have since carried over into my worship with any fellowship of believers. I love Jesus and I love God. I enjoy and appreciate the words that my Father has caused to be written to me and I love His Spirit which gives me understanding while also convicting me of my sin. I love God! I am not ashamed or embarrassed to let anyone know that I love God! And when I sing my praises to God, I am really singing my praises to God. I picture His throne above me and Him seated upon it and here I am on the earth standing in front of that throne of my Creator and singing praise to Him that I want Him to hear. I lift up my outstretched hands just as those people at the Michael Jackson concert, but they aren't directed towards any mortal man, but to my Father. Just as a child holds out his hands and cries 'Abba', 'Father', so am I.
If that discomforts someone I am sincerely sorry, but know that my physical and outward expression is in no way ever thought by me to be some show to others. I am seeing the throne of God before me and holding out my hands to Him. I am looking into the face of Jesus in that moment and praising him for his great work that I may also be seen as a pure and spotless lamb in my Father's eyes. I am, in those moments, filled with such a great weight of joy and thankfulness, that I would likely suffer an aneurism if I didn't show some outward physical expression of my great love for the one who died in my place.
Now, maybe others just don't feel that same fire burning inside of them, but honestly I have to ask, "Why not?"
God bless you.
In Christ, Ted
your mind is beyond limits lol 
