Posting angry- Are you guilty?

Hentenza · Dec 1, 2008

Hello everyone,

I have been reading quite a few threads and responses here and it seems that there is an overabundance of angry responses which lead to flaming. There are many posts that attack posters versus addressing a topic. This issue is not restricted to any particular group whether conservative or liberal, homosexual or heterosexual, among any one denomination, or any particular belief.

The common denominator that I see is anger. Posting angry decreases objectivity and reduces (and sometimes invalidates) the effectiveness of an argument. In many cases anger causes readers to discard an argument because they find it offensive (not because they necessarily disagree with it). I do realize that some have thinner skin than others and I am not talking about a healthy heated exchange concentrated on a topic but the typical "I am always right and you are not" or "Your view is baloney" or "You are going to hell because of what you believe" or "You can't read" or "Your interpretation is stupid", "Your view is bigotry", etc.

What we must explore is our own motivation for an angry post. Are we angry with the other poster because of pride? Are we angry with the other poster because we dislike them or what their belief is? Are we posting angry because some else is simply not "getting it"?

I am sure all of you have heard the old true saying "patience is a virtue". The saying is not only true but biblical as well. We need to learn to walk away from the computer when anger gets the best of us. Cool off and pray. Asking God in prayer is the best way. Remember that your post is not only going to be read by those debating in the thread but also by the silent ones that are here to read and to learn.

Proverbs 14:29
29He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

Proverbs 15:1
1A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension,
but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 29:8
8 Mockers stir up a city,
but wise men turn away anger.

Please post your thoughts here. This thread is not for accusing anyone or any one group. All responses blaming any one poster or group will be promptly deleted. Lets use this thread to edify God and learn from each other how not to be hostile to each other or angry at each other.

davedjy · Dec 1, 2008

Excellent thread, Hentenza.

From what I've seen, especially with controversial topics, flame wars can come up real quick. Lately, I've walked away from many threads I was a part of due to not wanting to escalate, and respond to the flaming.

Jessica Lauren · Dec 1, 2008

I agree. I'm sure I've done it a few times. I think what hurts people the most is being told they're stupid or ignorant for what they believe. Or even their interpretations of things. Great post

cwolf20 · Dec 1, 2008

not in a while... but when I do, I write 4 or 5 paragraphs in a single response. I get wordy when i get on my high horse

Zebra1552 · Dec 1, 2008

If you don't mind, I'm putting a link to that in my sig. That's gold.

JamesKurtovich · Dec 1, 2008

I'M NOT ANGRY, YOU'RE ANGRY.

Kidding.

I've noticed too that anger decreases the effectiveness of an argument because your mood can be seen through your choice of diction and manner of speaking, no matter how well you think you're hiding it. I think a lot of people get "heated" or spark up arguments out of small disagreements (within the thread, they're small - but to those people, it's a big disagreement and they feel the need to either change the subject of the thread or start a new one devoted to this new conflict). I think it's normal in a forum dedicated to such sensitive subject matter (faith, lifestyle, etc.), as it's all usually personal. Comparing this place with other spots on the internet that deals with religion in general, I'd say the "heat" here at CF is pretty cold and everyone does a good job in not going all out crazy.

HuntingMan · Dec 1, 2008

I think the only time Ive ever been 'angry' with anyone on any forum was when someone said our boys are in Iraq because they love to 'murder'.
I have to admit that that one made me pretty angry.
The rest of the time I typically find things either humorous or a bit agitating if someone makes it so I have to keep saying the same thing over and over as if they arent really reading what is posted.

Armistead · Dec 1, 2008

HuntingMan said:
I think the only time Ive ever been 'angry' with anyone on any forum was when someone said our boys are in Iraq because they love to 'murder'.
I have to admit that that one made me pretty angry.
The rest of the time I typically find things either humorous or a bit agitating if someone makes it so I have to keep saying the same thing over and over as if they arent really reading what is posted.

Maybe it's the other way around...you say it's so, so others must repeat over and over for you...you tyrant...You're a heretic and a scam....not able to prove yourself right on anything...your never right and I tire of debating with someone that can't admit I'm always right...because you know I am...............

Truthfully, I think people worry too much about people. Let each debate in his own style. This is a forum. If you can't take it, you can move on or put people on ignore. The fact is...we are debating on computer screens and people wouldn't debate in person like we do here. I have never had anyone make me mad here to place them on ignore, report, ect..because
I want to hear everyones opinion, learn and grow. I think it's fun when people get into strong debate. I just wish I could use my full range of words when needed.

Inbox24 · Dec 2, 2008

True, but sometimes you have to be direct with a person when they're are dily dalying with an objectively incorrect point of view or opinion and this may come across as an 'angry' post.

Celticflower · Dec 2, 2008

When I read a post that angers me to the point that a response from me would be an attack, I try to let it sit and NOT answer it right away. Often after giving myself time to think I can answer in a rational way that would attack the post and not the poster. (tabs and minimize buttons are wonderful for times like that)

&Abel · Dec 2, 2008

Celticflower said:
When I read a post that angers me to the point that a response from me would be an attack, I try to let it sit and NOT answer it right away. Often after giving myself time to think I can answer in a rational way that would attack the post and not the poster. (tabs and minimize buttons are wonderful for times like that)

I feel guilty if I post angry...anger is hate and hate is a tool of the deceiver

I'm not saying I don't let myself get wrapped up in a topic and say things I shouldn't cause I often do

but I try to bridle my tongue and get past the anger within myself(which can be difficult) anger leads to pride and pride leads to closed eyes, misinterpretations etc etc etc

HuntingMan · Dec 2, 2008

anger is hate and hate is a tool of the deceiver

Now, that isnt true.
Anger is an emotion and anger CAN be quite just and even righteous....such as Jesus being pretty flipped out about the temple being defiled by the Jews.

If anger = hate in every case then God Himself would have to be hate.

cwolf20 · Dec 2, 2008

The edit button is a wonderful thing.

I've also learned that if I did post a heated reply, leave it.... good or bad, it contains the points I wanted to get across. Changing it, changes the points.

sleepythesahm · Dec 2, 2008

Im fairly new, so I dont always recognize that some peoples personalities always reflect a tone that comes off as argumentative,even when they arent trying to argue. For right now, I try not to answer those posters. I havent been angry angry but once,and I walked away instead. Just like in real life,there are people who try to push your buttons here.

Hentenza · Dec 2, 2008

sleepythesahm said:
Im fairly new, so I dont always recognize that some peoples personalities always reflect a tone that comes off as argumentative,even when they arent trying to argue. For right now, I try not to answer those posters. I havent been angry angry but once,and I walked away instead. Just like in real life,there are people who try to push your buttons here.

Thank you sleepythesahm and welcome to CF.

Sometimes it takes a fresh eye to hit the mark. You are absolutely correct about people pushing each others "buttons". Unfortunately I see that quite often.

[-[Searching]-] · Dec 2, 2008

I have to say this is a good topic to post on.
I often get angry when speaking to people on religion, faith. Anything along those lines. I don't mean to and have found that the best way to deal with the situation is to tell the person that you will have to come back to them when you feel less angry.
Unfortunately there are few ways to avoid an emotional response whatsoever to a topic, however as a christian i think the best way to direct emotions to trying to help the person as best we can.
great thread thanks (y)

Armistead · Dec 3, 2008

HuntingMan said:
Now, that isnt true.
Anger is an emotion and anger CAN be quite just and even righteous....such as Jesus being pretty flipped out about the temple being defiled by the Jews.

If anger = hate in every case then God Himself would have to be hate.

I agree. Anger is actually one of the most just emotions. It causes us to step out when we might not otherwise. Anger is wrong when it just serves to hurt others. Without anger our nation would have never existed.

Nadiine · Dec 3, 2008

Hentenza said:
Hello everyone,

I have been reading quite a few threads and responses here and it seems that there is an overabundance of angry responses which lead to flaming. There are many posts that attack posters versus addressing a topic. This issue is not restricted to any particular group whether conservative or liberal, homosexual or heterosexual, among any one denomination, or any particular belief.

The common denominator that I see is anger. Posting angry decreases objectivity and reduces (and sometimes invalidates) the effectiveness of an argument. In many cases anger causes readers to discard an argument because they find it offensive (not because they necessarily disagree with it). I do realize that some have thinner skin than others and I am not talking about a healthy heated exchange concentrated on a topic but the typical "I am always right and you are not" or "Your view is baloney" or "You are going to hell because of what you believe" or "You can't read" or "Your interpretation is stupid", "Your view is bigotry", etc.

What we must explore is our own motivation for an angry post. Are we angry with the other poster because of pride? Are we angry with the other poster because we dislike them or what their belief is? Are we posting angry because some else is simply not "getting it"?

I am sure all of you have heard the old true saying "patience is a virtue". The saying is not only true but biblical as well. We need to learn to walk away from the computer when anger gets the best of us. Cool off and pray. Asking God in prayer is the best way. Remember that your post is not only going to be read by those debating in the thread but also by the silent ones that are here to read and to learn.

Proverbs 14:29
29He who is slow to anger has great understanding,
But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.

Proverbs 15:1
1A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension,
but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 29:8
8 Mockers stir up a city,
but wise men turn away anger.

Please post your thoughts here. This thread is not for accusing anyone or any one group. All responses blaming any one poster or group will be promptly deleted. Lets use this thread to edify God and learn from each other how not to be hostile to each other or angry at each other.

All I see in this area (like many others that suffer continual conflict)
is liberal vs. conservative/unorthodox vs orthodox.

It's division politically and spiritually and it will continue when a forum puts the 2 together as one big family. I don't see that it will ever end until one group packs their bags & moves someplace else.

From what I've seen, I believe each group views several people in the opposite groups as false teachers or nonChristians. As long as you carry a Christian symbol on CF, you ARE one for all intents & purposes; regardless of what someone really believes (ie. they believe they ARE a Christian & take a Christian symbol when they actually disagree w/ CF's SOF believing CF is wrong) - & regardless of the Christian definition as per scripture (due to interprative difference - & CF's not real detailed/general definition).

Also, I think I see many of the unorthodox members posting in this section...
that's automatic conflict as well w/ all Orthodox members.
& many have left CF due to these reasons (on both sides).

I believe this passage applies

2 John 1:9-11 (New American Standard Bible)

9 Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son.
10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting;
11 for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.

When people feel they're to divide & rebuke what is false, this will be the result.
I feel this is the source of the conflict & I don't see it ending or conforming everyone to go along & get along when such diverse moral issues are disagreed on.

Nadiine · Dec 3, 2008

HuntingMan said:
Now, that isnt true.
Anger is an emotion and anger CAN be quite just and even righteous....such as Jesus being pretty flipped out about the temple being defiled by the Jews.

If anger = hate in every case then God Himself would have to be hate.

Ephesians 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not:
let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

without anger, we cannot do what God calls us to do,
Hate evil. & imo, lack of proper righteous anger is apathetic
which is really a problem.

Anger is also an emotion God has & displays - if it's evil,
then God is sinning.

Hentenza · Dec 3, 2008

The type of anger that I am referring to is that one that I see here often. There is nothing wrong with indignant anger directed at sin nor is there anything wrong with righteous anger properly channeled to debunk unsound doctrine. Scripture is clear in this respect.

The anger that I typically see here is one where the anger is directed at a person versus a sin or a false doctrine. Here are some examples of post formats that depict the type of anger that I am talking about.

1. A post is quoted from a poster that you (general you) is engaging in debate.

2. The first or last part of the post addresses the poster directly, typically identified by "you" statements. Examples, "you are living in sin", or "you are not saved" or "you are not a Christian", etc. Mind me, these are straightforward examples but these examples are typically disguised one way or another with the same meaning implied.

3. The middle of the post typically addresses the topic of argument which is fine.

See, if we can stop the angry polemics associated with these type of posts then we can put our point across the way that scripture intended. We suffer from "there is no way that I am loosing this argument" syndrome. However, what most fail to realize is that no one here is really going to win an argument in this debate format. The fact is that what you (general you) post will be read by many and some will agree with you and some will not. Planting seeds is what Jesus our Lord commands us to do in the great commission. We are to spread the good news of Christ and patiently correct unsound doctrine.

Posting angry- Are you guilty?

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