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Thank you for your perspective, but I'm officially in lurker mode.You honestly don't understand.
The OP's thoughts and feelings are what we're dealing with. He doesn't like the fact that his girlfriend put a price on herself if she was single. How exactly is he in a position to forgive her, let alone to apologize for how he feels? As far as I'm aware, a Christian is no more obligated than a non-Christian to date somebody who says things that they don't like.
Thank you for the thoughtful reply. Perhaps I'm not accurately gauging the OP's reaction. The way it comes across to me is that he finds the idea of having a price to be repugnant. That she is so lacking in self-worth as to consider selling her body to be rich. If she said she'd do it to avoid death, that's one thing, or if she was tempted for other reasons, but for the extra cash? Not everybody sees money that way.To me, it's the strength of the OP's reaction that's a concern. He doesn't like the comment, fine. He's not obliged to. The fact that he sees it as "a big red flag" seems to put it in another category.
A red flag? That his girlfriend realises that a (very hypothetical) situation might tempt her to do something with which he disagrees? Does he not realise that that's part of being human? All of us have something which would tempt us to sin. It might not be money and it might not be sexual sin, but if he's going to see being honest about potential temptation as a dealbreaker in a relationship, he's going to have difficulty sustaining an honest relationship.
I think part of the reaction in this thread is many people realising that if the OP has this strong a reaction to something like this, and doesn't work through that, he's likely going to find it difficult to sustain a long term relationship; and it's particularly galling that he seems to see that as entirely the fault of the woman concerned, than a situation to which he is contributing.
The way it comes across to me is that he finds the idea of having a price to be repugnant.
People should be tactful yet express what bothers them, or it will fester under the surface and potentially blow up later on. Would you prefer that he not say a word, to pretend that everything is fine, if it bothers him so much? Likewise, if she perceives his reaction as a big red flag in turn, she might be the one who reconsiders the relationship. The fact that it's being spoken about at all, however, gives it a better chance at being worked through.
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
I think that there's something very important that you may be overlooking. Something that may be even more important than her answer to a hypothetical question.Thanks for the input everyone, still REALLY struggling with this. Maybe I'm struggling with accepting the darker realities of the human condition.
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.
I asked her to seriously reconsider her answer, and she replied that she would think about it, but her answer probably wouldn't change.
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
I think that there's something very important that you may be overlooking. Something that may be even more important than her answer to a hypothetical question.
She was honest. So yes, she may have flaws, we all do, but if she can be honest, even knowing what's at stake, that should tell you a whole lot about her character.
In the end it's your decision. You have to do what you think is right. But I can't help but think of the story of the drowning man. Who when he got to heaven asked God why God hadn't answered his prayers. To which God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
Sometimes what God sends us, isn't what we want, but what we need.
Thanks for the input everyone, still REALLY struggling with this. Maybe I'm struggling with accepting the darker realities of the human condition.
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.
I asked her to seriously reconsider her answer, and she replied that she would think about it, but her answer probably wouldn't change.
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
Sorry, I thought that it was a story that everyone was familiar with. Just in case, here it is.Not really following what you are saying with the drowning man story. Could you explain?
Thanks for the update. I would never consider sex for money. I don't even fantasize about it. Nor would I want a partner who would consider this. I would not compromise on this issue unless God intervened.Thanks for the input everyone, still REALLY struggling with this. Maybe I'm struggling with accepting the darker realities of the human condition.
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.
I asked her to seriously reconsider her answer, and she replied that she would think about it, but her answer probably wouldn't change.
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
Given what she said, I think she still has decent enough morals to continue the relationship, everything else the same. If I thought she sounded like a potential cheater or a potential encourager of promiscuity, I wouldn't be telling you this.Thanks for the input everyone, still REALLY struggling with this. Maybe I'm struggling with accepting the darker realities of the human condition.
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.
I asked her to seriously reconsider her answer, and she replied that she would think about it, but her answer probably wouldn't change.
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
What are your thoughts on this? How would you'll respond to this hypothetical $10 million dollar proposal question?
What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about exhorbant sums of money people pay for sex after seeing an instagram post on the subject. She joked about having sex with a stranger for $1 million. I didn't find this funny, and I asked her seriously if she would do that. She replied that she would not. But she followed up with "if someone offered me $10 million, and I wasn't in a relationship, I'd consider it depending on the person. I am seriously disgusted by this, and I'm considering ending things over it. I'm concerned that we are seriously misaligned in terms of values. I view this as selling your soul.
All of my secular friends think I'm WAY overreacting to this hypothetical that will never happen. What do you'll think? Am I blowing this out of proportion? I do have a tenancy to do so. How should I go about discussing this with her?
Some background: We are both somewhat Christian, but have not attended church in a while. I grew up Catholic, but consider myself non denominaltional now. We have both expressed desire to find a church in our area and attend together. We are in our late twenties and have been dating for about a year. We love eachother, but this is seeming like a big red flag to me in terms of compatability.
Calling your girlfried a... professional... is definitly a good way to preserve your relationship.Ask her if she’d do it for $100.00. If she gets offended and asks what kind of person you think she is, tell that’s already been established and now you’re just trying to determine the price…
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