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Post partum depression
- Thread starter ShannonMcCatholic
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Oh Kati- thank you for checking up on me!
I am actually doing much better- My husband was home all of last week and is home this week, too. We were able to sit and talk so that I could tell him very clearly, and without emotion- what I needed. Physically I'm still feeling not quite up to speed- my pelvic floor muscles are really rebelling against being pregnant for a large part of the last decade- but I have finally stopped bleeding. I had a large piece of tissue that I think was the cause of the extended bleeding.
Istill need to not be too involved with my other kids, sadly, because I end up really losing my temper and yelling. I am trying to flee to prayer rather than yell, but that will take time to learn that discipline!
How are you doing??
I am actually doing much better- My husband was home all of last week and is home this week, too. We were able to sit and talk so that I could tell him very clearly, and without emotion- what I needed. Physically I'm still feeling not quite up to speed- my pelvic floor muscles are really rebelling against being pregnant for a large part of the last decade- but I have finally stopped bleeding. I had a large piece of tissue that I think was the cause of the extended bleeding.
Istill need to not be too involved with my other kids, sadly, because I end up really losing my temper and yelling. I am trying to flee to prayer rather than yell, but that will take time to learn that discipline!
How are you doing??
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Benedicta00
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ShannonMcMorland said:
I never really had and hard recovery, it was during the last pregnancy itself in the last trimester. I could not do a thing, and that is not like me. I could not even go to the grocery store and get through it with out having to stop. It was horrific and I know I can not do this again. Well maybe I could, only God kows for sure but my common sense tells me that I dont I can.
My doctor mention to me that even if you do space the births a few years apart it really does not make that big a difference, with each child the muscles get weaker and weaker and the uterus is like a rubber band that stretches further that loses its elasticity.
When you figure that one out, let me know how you do it.
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LOL!! My SD said to just go into my room close the door and entrust my children to the Blessed Mother and pray for a few minutes-- whether or not everyone is screaming and crying outside the door. I just have to flee before I am screaming- I end up losing it first-- and then praying ....
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Benedicta00
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Me too, I cant go from 0-10 building up a loss of patience, I just go straight to 10. I begin already impatient. But I think I ma getting a little better, now I think I start off at a 9 1/2 before I get to 10.ShannonMcMorland said:
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I'm doing better also. I'm pretty wiped emotionally -- when I posted last week, I had just taken my hubby to the airport who was on his way to Japan for two weeks. We already had a lot of major life events going on (job changes, moving etc), then on top of everything, we had a death in the family. The death was the straw that broke this camel's back! Very sad. However, it concluded finally with the funeral yesterday. At least, I don't feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long.
Last night, I had to answer a lot of death and heaven questions with my 4 yr old. That was very difficult and I hope I did okay. Poor little guy was in tears. I faltered on when he asked where people go if they don't go to heaven and told him they live in fire. Dumb. I scared him to death. I wish I would have answered that differently somehow. But reflecting later, it occured to me that whether one is 4 or 40, the end of this life is scary. But I digress... I was thinking of starting another thread on this.
Back on topic, what a blessing that your husband was able to stay home for awhile longer! I have been very fortunate to have my mother stay with us for the first few weeks after each birth. As I mentioned previously, with my last baby, my body did not bounce right back. It took several weeks to feel half-way decent again. I also highly recommend starting Kiegal exercises. I never felt like I needed to do that with the first two, but the third definitely stretched my innards further. The rubberband thing Shelb5 mentioned... tis true!
Last night, I had to answer a lot of death and heaven questions with my 4 yr old. That was very difficult and I hope I did okay. Poor little guy was in tears. I faltered on when he asked where people go if they don't go to heaven and told him they live in fire. Dumb. I scared him to death. I wish I would have answered that differently somehow. But reflecting later, it occured to me that whether one is 4 or 40, the end of this life is scary. But I digress... I was thinking of starting another thread on this.
Back on topic, what a blessing that your husband was able to stay home for awhile longer! I have been very fortunate to have my mother stay with us for the first few weeks after each birth. As I mentioned previously, with my last baby, my body did not bounce right back. It took several weeks to feel half-way decent again. I also highly recommend starting Kiegal exercises. I never felt like I needed to do that with the first two, but the third definitely stretched my innards further. The rubberband thing Shelb5 mentioned... tis true!
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Shelb5 said:
and I don't understand why that happens. I never get impatient with big people. Matter of fact, I consider myself a very patient, laid back kind of person. Something happened when I had children though, because my kids can pop my top in 5 seconds flat.
My priest explained to me recently that Mothering (or parenting) is a new vocation for me. IOW, there is a learning curve. We can't expect to be perfect from the begining.
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Benedicta00
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Umm, its been nearly 16 years for me I am only now learning.3toraiseup said:and I don't understand why that happens. I never get impatient with big people. Matter of fact, I consider myself a very patient, laid back kind of person. Something happened when I had children though, because my kids can pop my top in 5 seconds flat.
Actully I know no one wants to hear this but Dr. Phil had a show about this last year or maybe the year before and his advice was the same, talk to your pastor, call your church and if you dont have one, find a support, call a freind or something when you feel like you will explode.
But what he said was that before we can do that, we have to be able to recognize when we are getting to the point of no return. It is hard to recognize that because you have to see it before it happens, I am beginning to see it coming now. I have to start trying all over again now that I have little ones again.
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I read a neat book last year called She's Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms dealing with Anger written by Christian mother, Julie Barnhill, on this very subject. She has some excellent prayers, ideas and advice on dealing with Mom Anger.
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Benedicta00
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Wow, I didnt know this had a classification all its own, like road rage, lol. So I suffer from Mom rage. Thats a slap of reality.3toraiseup said:
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ROFL!!!Shelb5 said:
Ain't that the truth!? And what Kati said, too- I don't go around screaming at the top of my lungs at ANYONE else in my life. I get to focussed on the details, the specifics of our lives-- rather than keeping the big picture in the fore front- teaching my babies how to give and receive love...
Kati- death is a hard one; however faith really helps there. My 7 year old just said to me today- "Mom, I think most of the people in the world go to purgatory- don't you?" To which I answered yes! I have tried to teach my children that death is a great thing- it is sad for those left behind as they will miss that person, but it is also joyous, as it is the beginning of life eternal. Death is an important part of understanding the importance of the sacraments and diligence in the spiritual life. Conversely the sacraments help us to understand that death need not be feared.
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Yes, it did help. It was becoming a pattern for me to yell at my children and I was able to break the pattern. Though, every now and then, I could use a re-read. :o
The author had excellent scripture verses and affirmations as well as practical tips for overcoming "Mount Momma". Even simple penace like putting a jar in the kitchen and fining yourself (a significant fine) each time you lose your temper.
What was most interesting to me, was learning to identify reasons behind pent up anger. For example, past abuse or emotional hurts which have been repressed can display itself years later in the form of anger towards those who are more vulnerable. The author also suggests keeping an anger log to try to pinpoint 'triggers' like lack of sleep or hormone changes. She also suggests using this acronym:
H hungry
A angry
L lonely
T tired
To be extra vigilant in guarding your emotions when your defenses are down. Then, just like you already do, fall on your knees before the Lord and implore Him for help.
Scripture tells us that our Father provided fruit in barren wombs, so too, can He provide patience and lovingkindness in grumpy over-stressed mothers. Thanks be to God for good fruit in barren places!
The author had excellent scripture verses and affirmations as well as practical tips for overcoming "Mount Momma". Even simple penace like putting a jar in the kitchen and fining yourself (a significant fine) each time you lose your temper.
What was most interesting to me, was learning to identify reasons behind pent up anger. For example, past abuse or emotional hurts which have been repressed can display itself years later in the form of anger towards those who are more vulnerable. The author also suggests keeping an anger log to try to pinpoint 'triggers' like lack of sleep or hormone changes. She also suggests using this acronym:
H hungry
A angry
L lonely
T tired
To be extra vigilant in guarding your emotions when your defenses are down. Then, just like you already do, fall on your knees before the Lord and implore Him for help.
Scripture tells us that our Father provided fruit in barren wombs, so too, can He provide patience and lovingkindness in grumpy over-stressed mothers. Thanks be to God for good fruit in barren places!
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Golly that's true! One of the things I told my husband was to just shove some cottage cheese or a hanful of nuts in my face when I start getting grumpy. I also really notice when he and I are in disconnect and I feel lonely things are much worse with my kids. And tired and angry kind of speak for them selves, no?
I'll have to check it out- there were some used coppies for only $3!
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Benedicta00
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Thats really profound because I often wonder why me, why does God want me to have all these kids when I could do a lot better job parenting then what I do.3toraiseup said:
I just tell myself that I know there is a plan here, Hes trying to do something here; I just dont know what it yet. Sometimes admits the chaos can get a glimpse, its all about salvation.
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Wiffey
He is my refuge and my fortress...
You all are an inspiration! I have only one child, and sometimes I still get overwhelmed! Parenthood is such a hard job if you want to do it well. When I see women with lots of children I am so impressed with the faith and courage it takes to get it all done. Your love for your kids shines through your posts, even when you are discussing your challenges. God bless you all!
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